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How To Get Out Of A Traffic Ticket!

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A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.

It was valid.

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!
LOL!!!.......good one!
"Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."
Okay this isn't really funny...but I had to share and this seemed to fit here. I had a car accident yesterday (no one was hurt) that was my fault (even though the bitch stopped suddenly). The officer did NOT give me a ticket. He said he didn't believe in issuing tickets for accidents....that's why they are called accidents. How often does THAT happen? Never before in my lifetime. (Okay I WAS crying...maybe that helped???)

BTW....LOVE that joke....it made me smile despite a crappy day yesterday.

~~Tech

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Oh Tech sorry to hear that...car accident's always suck!.....well its a good think he didn't give you a ticket....hope you're feeling better today luv.......
"Love all, trust a few, and do wrong to none."
Glad no one was hurt. That's most important. Big hug for you!