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Hiring a Private Secretary

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I came home from work last night and told my wife that I've been given a Huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and I get to employ My own private secretary.

"Well you'd better hire someone who's a bit old, fat and ugly," she said. "I don't want you choosing someone who you're going to be tempted to have sex with."

"That's fair enough," I replied. "When can you start?"