Hell explained by a chemistry student

11 Nov 2009

HELL EXPLAINED
By an ASU Chemistry Student

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid-term, along with one of the answers turned in by a student.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with his colleagues via the internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.There fore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,'and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct.....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a Divine Being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God!'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+

"So don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
Don't lie to me,
Just get your things.
I've made up your mind."

--Evanescence

11 Nov 2009

11 Nov 2009

11 Nov 2009

Excellent.

12 Nov 2009

That is a fantastic explaination. If you could see me stand and applaud over the inturwebz, you'd be seeing that now. (well, when I post this, not necessarily when you read it)

13 Nov 2009

I might not have had to cheat my way through chemistry if I could have come up with something like that! laughing3

13 Nov 2009

Now let's take another look at this wonderful subject book

Found this in Curiously Compelling the 19th Edition of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader:

Hell Isn't So Hot After All. A 2005 "study" determined the temperatures of Heaven and Hell. First, citing Isaiah 30:26, which says that in Heaven "the light of the Moon shall be as the light of the Sun and the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days," they did the math and found that heaven would be 525*C, or 977*F. For Hell they used Revelation 21:8, which describes a "lake which burneth with fire and brimstone." Their calculations determined that a lake of molten brimstone (sulphur) must be at or below it's boiling point, around 445*C, or 833*F. The study's conclusion: "Heaven is hotter than Hell."

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"Life Is Too DAMN Short To Be Taken Too DAMN Serious."

17 Nov 2009

"the light of the Sun shall be sevenfold, as the light of seven days,"

it says light not heat.

17 Nov 2009

Niceguy, there is a direct correlation between the intensity of the light (energy) absorbed by an object (the earth) and specific temperature (thermal engergy present in a mass). If the mass of said object is constant, and the thermal energy increases, the temperature increases. It's a study in static physics. Well, perhaps dynamics, considering that objects in space are in motion relative to other objects, as well as in rotation about their own polar axes, and have eccentric orbits.

18 Nov 2009

it's all how you read the bible and the differnce of words in the bible.. for instance my bible says the following. "the moon will shine like the sun and the sunlight will be seven times brighter". brighter to me means more light not more heat. course people who belive only in science to explain the world tend to be narrow minded. no offense intended. icon_biggrin

18 Nov 2009

I'm hardly narrow minded. Far from it. And, moreover, I do take a literal interpretation of the Bible. My understanding of the Bible is that it is:
"The inspired Word of God, written by man."

That said, I know the literal history, as described by the author (scribe) of the Book of Revelations. It was the author's VISION, not his physical experience. And as a vision, God's revelation of things, it's His sandbox. He can couch things in whatever context He sees fit to have it make the most sense, and be the most use to His people.

Right then, enough Theology, back to the humor.

18 Nov 2009

Awesome. Simply freaking awesome.

Are you sure?