An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years.
Upon her return, her Father cussed her.
'Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer poor old Mother thru?'
The girl, crying, replied sniffing: 'Dad ... I became a prostitute ...'
'Ye what?!! Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this Catholic family.'
'OK, Dad, as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this fur coat, the title deed to a mansion plus a $2 million savings certificate. For me little brother, this gold Rolex. and for ye, Daddy, the new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a membership to the country club ... (takes a breath) ... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera and....
'Now what was it ye said ye had become?' says Dad.
Girl, crying again, 'a prostitute, Daddy!' (Sniff, sniff)
'Glory! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant.
Come here and give yer old Dad a hug.'
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