Dirty Jokes Thread!

26 Aug 2009

I thought it would be fun to post some dirty jokes. Someone probably done this already but I would like to read some more!

Here is my contribution to this thread:

One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.

She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"

The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."

So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred buck just to see one."

Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I've got to see both of them. I'll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together."

Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.

A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, "You know, your friend Chris came over."

Tony thinks about it for a second and says, "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

19 Sep 2009

Really funny Scarlett.I liked it and expect a few more dirty jokes from you.

30 Aug 2010

Here is one I was told the other day

Since the wife is eight months into her pregnancy, the husband has to sleep on the floor to avoid any chance of contact, which could happen pretty easily, since he had been desperate for quite a while.
Just before lying down on the bed, she glances at him & sees the poor guy curled up on the floor, eyes stare widely into the empty air, filled with hopeless desire. Feeling sorry for her husband, she opens the top drawer of her night table, takes out a fifty dollar bill, and gives it to him.
‘A, honey, you're so depressed. Here, take this & go to the woman next door, she will let you sleep with her tonight. Remember now, this happens only this once. OK?’
The husband can't believe his ears, but afraid that she may change her mind, he grabs the money and leaves quickly.
A few minutes later, he returns, hands the bill back to the wife & says dejectedly, ‘Lena says this is not enough, she wants eighty.’
The wife's face slowly turns red with anger, ‘Why that damn bitch. When she was pregnant & her husband came over here, I only charged him fifty.’

30 Aug 2010

The whole Humor section is for dirty jokes.

30 Aug 2010

Quote by roccotool
The whole Humor section is for dirty jokes.

I kind of thought that too. This is an adult site isn't it? evil4