I went to a palm reader, after she looked at my love line she asked why are your hands so callused?
When I went to the supermarket yesterday, I saw 2 guys in the vegetable aisle and they were...........................
I went to a palm reader, after she looked at my palm she said she thought she saw a Celtic connection..
Oops, too slow!
When I went to the supermarket yesterday, I saw 2 guys in the vegetable aisle and they were comparing cucumbers...
It's been sunny all week and...
It's been sunny all week and so mazza needs someone to smother her in after sun.
The volunteers to smother Mazza in aftersun are,,,,
the volunteers to smother mazza r all overseas.
my computer crashed because
Nightnurses computer crashed because, the pics of her on it are just too hot for the web to handle.
The worst date I can imagine is one where,,,
The worst date I (Tell) can imagine is one where my date hits it off with the female bartender and they leave together at the end of the night and don't invite me along to watch.
Telltale's favorite gift for his birthday was...
Telltale's favorite gift for his birthday was a long fat piece of ginger.
While washing my car......
While washing my car, I got all wet and soapy so I took off all my clothes causing a 5 car pile up in front of my house
While me and Lola were sunbathing nude in my yard, a door to door salesman appeared and he said.........
........... and he said, "Hi Ladies, sorry to trouble you, I'm from LoveHoney, and I have a delivery for your neighbours. They don't seem to be in, may I leave the parcel with you?"
As the car spluttered to an untimely halt, the realisation dawned on her ........
As the car spluttered to an untimely halt, the realisation dawned on her,,, that Swollen was now stranded in a dark place, alone except for the three large guys now walking toward her, grining like wolves. She thought about running or locking herself in the car, but instead smiled and took out her,,,,,,
She thought about running or locking herself in the car, but instead smiled and took out her stun gun and realized that this might be the perfect opportunity to try it out for the first time! YEY!
The Lush party was a Bring your own ______________...
I went to a palm reader, after she looked at my love line she said, "Why is your hand so sticky?"
My best female friend just came over, drunk and missing her pants, so I.........
EDIT: Damn forum games move too fast! lol
While Walking On The Nude Beach, I Was So Surprised To See An Older Couple In Their 70's Putting Sunscreen On I dropped my own bottle and offered to help.
I always put my
I always put my footwear on sock/shoe sock/shoe... instead of sock/sock shoe/shoe.
When I was a kid I wanted to grow up to be a...............
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates When I was a kid I wanted to grow up to be a "gangbanger", but I soon found out that didnt mean what I thought it did.
If I could spend the rest of my life doing anything I choose, I would..................................
If I could spend the rest of my life doing anything I choose, I would be sitting poolside with a sexy cabana boy bringing me endless drink refills.
I'm going to play hookey from work this afternoon and...
I'm going to play hookey from work this afternoon and play on lush......DUH!!!
I think I'll go and fix me a...........
"Sometimes you have to believe in someone else's belief in you before the belief in yourself kicks in" ~Les Brown
I'm going to play hookey from work this afternoon and treat myself special and if your nice to me, I may tell you what I did!!
Oops, too slow!!
I think I'll go and fix me a PB+J and a shot of Jack
The annual Lush hot tub party will be different this year, there will be no.......................
Some of the water toys brought to the Lush hot tub party were snorkels and scuba masks.
I was shocked when I looked beneath the water and saw Curly's.........
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates I was shocked when I looked beneath the water and say Curly's... pubic hair was not curly at all, she must have used a flat iron on it this morning.
LM hopped out of the tub naked and much to our surprise...
LM hopped out of the tub naked and much to our surprise he was wearing my (Nikki) thong, I wondered what happened to it!
While I was in the hot tub my glass was empty, so I asked Dude for a shot and to my surprise he...............
While I (nikki) was in the hot tub my glass was empty, so I asked Dude for a shot and to my surprise he was able to get hard, masturbate and cum in a shot glass, all in under 30 seconds.
I was surprised that when I put on Nikki's thong it felt like..............
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates I was surprised that when I (LM) put on Nikki's thong it felt like my favorite one I wear all the time at home when I want to feel pretty.
LM wanted to be original for the costume party, so he dressed as...
LM wanted to be original for the costume party, so he dressed as Mister Rogers so he could ask all the girls if he could be their friend and can you say "Blow Job", but to his surprise there were 6 Mister Rogers there already!
By 11PM the party was so wild that Curly took off her clothes and..................
By 11PM the party was so wild that Curly took off her clothes and...asked Nikki if she could teach her how to two step to a Taylor Swift song that was playing on the stereo
LM and I wanted to join in however....
LM and I wanted to join in but they would only accept guys with hardons, so they recruited Hap instead.
The very worst thing then happened...
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