10. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore.
9. We're cruising at an altitude of... ah, hell, I don't know.
8. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?
7. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Just kidding.
6. Would a flight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em coming!
5. This is...uh...this is...uh...your...hmm. I seem to have lost my memory.
4. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you?
3. Welcome aboard flight 109 -- you bunch of jerks!
2. Good God, Steve! We're going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on?
1. We'll be on the ground in 10 minutes. One way or another.
Quote from the Airplane (1980) Movie:
Rex Kramer: Striker, listen, and you listen close: flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes
Another good quote is from the movie Madagascar II
The Pilot says, "I have good news and bad news."
"The good news is, we will be landing soon....the bad news is, it will be a crash landing!"
OMG, as if I wasn't afraid of flying before.....
Self medicating with those little bottles of jack daniels and diet coke tends to make flying a more relaxing experience lol
Does any one know how to fly a plane?
" .. Does any one know how to fly a plane? .."
That's got to be close to No. 1, but how about "I thought you filled it up before we left."
Sadly, while on a plane I have heard #4 and #1. The last time I flew, the landing gear came off. So many things have happened while I was on a plane that most of my family won't fly with me.
Robert Smith of "The Cure" fame refuses to fly. The only time they've toured in Australia he came aboard the QE2 I believe. I don't blame him, I hate flying long haul.
Quote from the movie Fools Gold...
Tess Finnegan: [as they sit in an airplane] We're flying! How do you know how to do this?
Ben 'Finn' Finnegan: Playstation!
Well, I was once talking to one pal, an airline staff and a Mr. in his 50's. He told me and account about one of his trips Bogota - Caracas, many years ago, in the 80's, and this happened during a flight -Venezuelan DC-10 airliner. This Mr. said that he was concerned about listening strange noises apparently coming from the aircraft rudder as is swayed with creaking noise. This guy who was in cargo management at this particular airline was seated in the last row.
On another ocassion, a Colombian pal who travelled within Venezuela, told me that the pilot had gotten out of the cockpit and had walked along the aisle to stop halfway; ducked and pushed open a latch to get down there, while passengers whitnessed the scene. This pal didn't mention about more details, but I figure out the pilot would be checking some problem or condition in the landing gear.
Excuse me ladies and gentlemen we are about to take off and should be arriving at JFK on roughly nine hours, by the way all of the lavatories are out of order
