Active Ink Slinger
Okay I think I have lost my mind. Has anyone seen it?
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RUMPLATIONS: Awesome Honky Tonk and Cyber Bar How Y'all Are?
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Active Ink Slinger
Hmm... maybe not. It's always getting me into truble.N0NtUx4ctTiLJlb5
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I really don't have much to spare...
Since we are hanging out in a bar, I have one more bar joke...well, for now...
3 Ducks walk into a bar, The Bartender thinks thats strange but they have money and are paying customers.
He walks up to the first duck, and says "so fella... what's yer name..how ya been doing?
The duck smiles up and says "I am Huey, and I am pretty good, I been outside playing in puddles all day long, thats as good as it gets with a duck, I'll have a Beer.
So he serves the Duck and moves to the 2nd Duck "how about you?"
The 2nd Duck smiles and says "I'm Dewy, and I am pretty good too, I have been outside playing in puddles all day long too, thats as good as it get's for a duck...I'll have a scotch, neat
Now the Bartender see's how this is going and moves to the 3rd duck "I bet your name's Lewy
The 3rd duck smiles and shakes his head "No...I'm Puddles
Since we are hanging out in a bar, I have one more bar joke...well, for now...
3 Ducks walk into a bar, The Bartender thinks thats strange but they have money and are paying customers.
He walks up to the first duck, and says "so fella... what's yer name..how ya been doing?
The duck smiles up and says "I am Huey, and I am pretty good, I been outside playing in puddles all day long, thats as good as it gets with a duck, I'll have a Beer.
So he serves the Duck and moves to the 2nd Duck "how about you?"
The 2nd Duck smiles and says "I'm Dewy, and I am pretty good too, I have been outside playing in puddles all day long too, thats as good as it get's for a duck...I'll have a scotch, neat
Now the Bartender see's how this is going and moves to the 3rd duck "I bet your name's Lewy
The 3rd duck smiles and shakes his head "No...I'm Puddles
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Active Ink Slinger
I like that one.
Heres one from me;
Two men walk in to a bar,
the third one ducks.
I know its a bit corny, but it's still makes me grin!
Heres one from me;
Two men walk in to a bar,
the third one ducks.
I know its a bit corny, but it's still makes me grin!
Active Ink Slinger
No, I wouldn't be suprised. It took my Mom about 5 minutes to catch on to that one. But she was really depressed at the time.
Active Ink Slinger
Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table.
The waitress walks over and asks them what they'll have.
The first one says, "I'll have a blood".
The second one says, "I'll have a blood".
The third says, "I'll have a blood-lite".
The waitress walks over and asks them what they'll have.
The first one says, "I'll have a blood".
The second one says, "I'll have a blood".
The third says, "I'll have a blood-lite".
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by SilverArdorDragon
No, I wouldn't be suprised. It took my Mom about 5 minutes to catch on to that one. But she was really depressed at the time.
That joke didn't cheer her up???
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Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Exakta66Quote by SilverArdorDragon
No, I wouldn't be suprised. It took my Mom about 5 minutes to catch on to that one. But she was really depressed at the time.
That joke didn't cheer her up???
Considering why she was depressed, no.
She's much happier now though. 
Active Ink Slinger
Tell me about it. I've fought woth it since I was around 14 or 15. I will not take pills for it though. I'd rather be depressed than have all the problems depretion meds can cause.
Active Ink Slinger
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
You know, I'm still waiting for that drink...you call yourself a bartender? I've bet you've been called other things...let's try another joke...
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..."
The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch.
He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..."
The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch.
He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."
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Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Here's an obvious sign you've been in the bar too long...
There's this drunk standing out on the street corner, and a cop passes by, and says, "What do you think you're doing?" The drunk says, "I heard the world goes around every 24 hours, and I'm waiting on my house. Won't be long now, there goes my neighbor."
There's this drunk standing out on the street corner, and a cop passes by, and says, "What do you think you're doing?" The drunk says, "I heard the world goes around every 24 hours, and I'm waiting on my house. Won't be long now, there goes my neighbor."
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Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
The Right Rev of Lush
Rumple staggers in from the back (don't ask), shoves a Big Mama Thornton tape into the official RUMPLATION 8-track, cranks it up loud, then opens a long-neck Shiner beer and contemplates the fact he just clicked on a bunch of dragons so their eggs will hatch, or some such.
Hands Rocco a beer.
Rumple Foreskin
Hands Rocco a beer.
Rumple Foreskin
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Forum Whore
Somebody give me a drink. Something with hard liquor, and please... chocolate!!
The Right Rev of Lush
You done did good, Shameless.
I'm about to fold my tent and slip off into the land of nod. Don't worry about locking up when you leave--there's nothing worth stealing and I'm too broke to keep replacing door locks. Later.
Rumple Foreskin
eta: Lydia, this sounds serious. What about I run down to the Sonic and grab you a chocolatate malt then fortify it with a couple healthy shots of cream de cocoa? rf
I'm about to fold my tent and slip off into the land of nod. Don't worry about locking up when you leave--there's nothing worth stealing and I'm too broke to keep replacing door locks. Later.
Rumple Foreskin
eta: Lydia, this sounds serious. What about I run down to the Sonic and grab you a chocolatate malt then fortify it with a couple healthy shots of cream de cocoa? rf
RUMPLATIONS: AwesomeHonky Tonk and Cyber Bar
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Home of the Lush "IN" crowd: indecent, intoxicated, and insolvent
a place to gossip, share news, talk sports, pimp a story, piss & moan, or just grab a drink. Check it out.
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwords. -- ROBERT HEINLEIN
Forum Whore
Quote by RumpleForeskin
eta: Lydia, this sounds serious. What about I run down to the Sonic and grab you a chocolatate malt then fortify it with a couple healthy shots of cream de cocoa? rf
It is serious, and hell yes please!
Active Ink Slinger
you have to have GOOD fresh made strawberry Margaritas no syrup crap we ladies want the real thing...and lots of long island ice teas
Behind every strong soldier there is even a stronger woman who raised him " Proud Army Mom"
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by redhotmommacita
you have to have GOOD fresh made strawberry Margaritas no syrup crap we ladies want the real thing...and lots of long island ice teas
HA! You think you can get that here??? In this dive??? This place is more along the lines of moonshine and homebrew...
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Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
Forum Whore
Thought of a joke my sister told me years and years ago.
Duck walks into a bar and orders grapes.
"This is a bar, dumbass duck!" the bartender says. "Now order a drink or get outta here!"
"Okay," the duck says, and waddles out of the bar.
This repeats for about a week. On the seventh night, the duck walks into the bar.
The bartender sees him coming and grunts, red-faced, through clenched teeth, "Listen, you stupid duck: We....Do....NOT...SERVE....GRAPES....HERE! Got it? Now if you come in and ask one more time for grapes, I'm going to nail your webbed feet to the floor!"
"Okay," the duck says and walks out. The bartender is relieved.
The next day, the duck walks in, sits at the bar, and asks the bartender: "Do you have any nails?"
The bartender is confused, but pleased that the duck isn't asking his normal question, "No...."
"Do you have a hammer?"
"...No....."
The duck seems pleased, "Good, do you have any grapes?"
Duck walks into a bar and orders grapes.
"This is a bar, dumbass duck!" the bartender says. "Now order a drink or get outta here!"
"Okay," the duck says, and waddles out of the bar.
This repeats for about a week. On the seventh night, the duck walks into the bar.
The bartender sees him coming and grunts, red-faced, through clenched teeth, "Listen, you stupid duck: We....Do....NOT...SERVE....GRAPES....HERE! Got it? Now if you come in and ask one more time for grapes, I'm going to nail your webbed feet to the floor!"
"Okay," the duck says and walks out. The bartender is relieved.
The next day, the duck walks in, sits at the bar, and asks the bartender: "Do you have any nails?"
The bartender is confused, but pleased that the duck isn't asking his normal question, "No...."
"Do you have a hammer?"
"...No....."
The duck seems pleased, "Good, do you have any grapes?"