Okay, I'll say something about this since I feel quite... um... well, I have some experience in this particular part of marriage.
The interview says:
The many demands on today's woman can distract her from fulfilling her husband's sexual needs, Oglesby said. Losing focus of this vital responsibility has many women facing the maladies of matrimony. They are either too tired, too stressed, too fat, too flat chested, too mad, too sad, too depressed, too dirty, too clean, too selfish, or it's just too much trouble, she said.
"The whole passion for the book came because I believe God knows I have a passion for helping to keep the family unit together," Oglesby said. "Men are the leaders of the house, but women are the managers. In reality, you can't have one without the other, and that's why a book like this is so important."
From the religious standpoint, I've found that most religions (Mainstream) today are male dom based. By that I mean the male is the head of the household, makes the rules, earns the largest part of the money coming in, and so on and so forth. Truth is in many cases, the female actually brings more into the household than the male does. There are many couples out there where the wife makes more than the husband.
If her book goes as I think it does, she's coming from the male based viewpoint and though she says the female 'manages' the home, the female is still submissive to the males needs. I've actually had ministers counseling on marital issues several times and each time they pushed this ideal of the man being the head of the household and 'the boss' more or less.
I truly don't see it that way in my marriage. We're partners in all things. We always shared our duties as it worked best for us. Everyone needs to find their place in a relationship like marriage. What works for some won't work for others.
If she handles it like I think she does, the author will press the woman to give herself to her husbands needs more than she may want to. That can be a good thing at times, but truthfully, I'd feel, were I the husband of a wife that did just that, that eventually she would resent having to have to do that when she didn't feel like it.
Most husbands don't push for it to the point of demanding sex if the wife doesn't feel like it... but I've witnessed the other side of the fence, that being a wife that rarely desires sexual contact at all. I can see where the advice given might help us, but I can also see where were we to follow that advice, we'd be divorced in a matter of months. The reason?
I know my wife and I know she has a very low sex drive. I also know that sex isn't the largest part of a marriage, no matter what some would have one think. Sex is important, yes. I know I'd love to have it far more often than we've ever had it, but I also know that to push my wife into such a state would cause resentment. That would eventually build into a dislike of me personally, and then I can see the divorce in the wings, since resentment and dislike will bring hard comments, thoughts and suffering.
I know that many religious persons push this male head of home thing, and I don't care for that. I've been married twenty seven plus years now and we didn't get this far with me being the head of the home. We've shared and been partners. That's the important thing. Keeping your mans pants on isn't about sex, though I imagine she may think so, it's more about trust, faithfulness, honor and truth.
If my wife has to take advice from a minister or ministers wife on how to keep my pants on and keep me faithful, then we're not the couple I thought we were. I trust her, even after her one slip. She trusts me too. If she's worried that I'm going to sleep around because of what she is or isn't doing, then we don't have a marriage, we have something else. Not sure what I'd call it other than a convenience.
*sigh* Sorry. I get carried away at times.
I thought the comments were a great read - all those Christians telling others they will burn in hell, and presuming to know what God wants.
I'm not all that certain She talks to quite so many people.
Chrstians believe we know what God wants because of the Bible. we should preach the good news, not the bad, i agree. However, we want as many people to join us in heaven as possible because we want as many people as possible who we care about to have the opertunity, we don't want our friends to be condemned
*~*xX/ ;) i'm not joking/Xx*~*
Such a nice, warm way of putting that, HG. Thank you.
thanx Rocco
just wish more people would understand why we want them to believe, it's because we care... it's not like a point system...
*~*xX/ ;) i'm not joking/Xx*~*
