me and my fiance have decided to wait a yr and a half before we get married. my family adores him and already consider him to be a part of the family. My dad calls him "son'' and my fiance even got him something for fathers day.
so, do you all think its too young to be doing all this?
i guess i really dont need to say we love each other because obviously we wouldnt be getting married.
Maybe. But I guess it all depends on how you feel.
I'm the same age and I feel like I'm too young for marriage right now, the thought scares me.
But if you feel like you're ready and you & your partner are smart about everything, (financially, for the future, etc.) then I don't see anything wrong with it.
I got engaged at 18 and married at 21....if you know each other well enough and have good open communication between you, it will work out. Just be smart and make decisions together...
Sometimes one feels that the person they're with is THE one. Later they discover that isn't the case... or may not have ever been the case. I'd say that if you've known each other long enough, are comfortable with each other, and you both realize that you really do have lots of time ahead of you to make this big decision, then go for it. A year and a half sounds like enough time that you both should know what you desire and want for your futures.qTNir3dHgcwKspkK
Follow your heart and listen to your 'rents as well. Are you going to go to school? What do you do for a living? What does he do? Are you able to support yourselves without help? How are you preventing a baby until you get stable? Do you owe any bills yet? There's a thousand questions to answer before you ever commit like that. Ask them together of each other.
Sometimes I look over at my husband and think I am the luckiest woman in the world to have found someone so wonderful that wants to be with me. 24hours later I might look over at my husband and think what the hell was I thinking?!
ok as for what he does, he's in the army on reserve BUT he's talking about going active duty again. I am actually out of school just recently graduated, i dont owe any bills, i plan on attending college in the fall but if we do get married sooner than later and he does go active duty he wants me on base with him so ill be taking online classes. my parents absolutely love him and they cant wait for us to marry so he can officially be part of the family. he is def. the best thing that's ever happened to me and he is so helpful to me in every aspect of my life.
The key word in this question was "engaged" n'est ce pas? Engagement is a time of getting to know each other on a more serious level and talking about all the things that Chef mentioned. I think as long as you do that and don't rush down the aisle, you'll know if marriage is the right "next step" for you.
Also, Chef is right, there are going to be days when you look at him and wonder what you were thinking, but a good solid relationship can weather those moments. Marriage isn't a destination, it's a journey. You have to be willing to work at it...coasting doesn't take you anywhere but downhill...
I'd plump for a long engagement at your age. It is very easy to think you're with the right person when you're young, only to discover 37 partners later that they weren't....oops. Did I type that or just think it?
LOL 37...wow thats a big number Lush!
and yea....we're not running down the isle or anything, no one's in any rush. We're taking it slow. We have known each other for a while and everyday is a new experience for us. I dont believe that it takes 4 or 5 or 6 years to decided to marry a person, there are some cases (rare cases) where two ppl have just looked at each other, or known them for an hour and decided to marry them and have been married for YEARS (im talking 30+. Now, i have done my research, I've talked to alot of married couples, and even alot of couples that's been divorced a few times. I ask them if they see some sort of trend in the ppl they marry. Are there signs that i should look for in my fiance that maybe i need to think twice about? I look at the good AND the bad, im not going to just walk into this with "rose colored glasses" I want to be fully prepared for what im getting into. my dad has been married five times, his first marriage was when he was just one week into his 17th birthday and i ask him about all his past experiences, being a young married male/father (his wife was pregnant at the time they got married) i talk to my mom and ask advice continuously. I understand marriae is about sacrifice, my man is talking about going active duty again and wants me to go on base with him. I realize i would be giving up seeing my family for a while. In marrying him, i realize he has a dangerous job, i am giving up the security in knowing that he's going to come home everynight unharmed. I am used to sacrifice, so all that is not that big of a deal. Is there any advice you married/divorced people can offer?
You're going to have it tougher than regular married people because your husband is going to be active duty. After I married my husband he was an active duty Marine. Went to war and a few hot spots in the last Bush's war. He was getting shot at daily, not sleeping for days and I wouldn't hear from him for long stretches at a time. Best thing I can tell you is to make friends with other military wives. Keep busy. Try not to think too much and keep in touch with friends and family back home.
And forget about sleep for awhile. Then after the active part is over, plan on getting acquainted all over again because it takes adjustment on both of your parts. Yours because your used to living alone and doing for yourself and you now have someone in your bed that is totally different than who you married. His because he has to get used to being civilized all over again. And to forget the horrors that he will see if he goes to war. Be patient. The list goes on. If you have any other questions just ask someone.
well before i met him he was in iraq for 7 months fighting the war....and i dont understand why he wants to go back. he says this will take care of the family and we'll have benifits bit i dont care about all that. we can have those same benifits with a regular job. i love him so much and almost cant bear the thought of him going active. when he gets back from doing his job we're going to sit down and seriously discuss EVERYTHING about what he wants to do and why he wants to do it.
but that wont happen till monday. and ill keep it posted so i can recieve continual advice
I nearly peed my pants.