This is a new phone that's on the cutting edge. I think it begins the next generation of telephones. See what you think.
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New High Tech Phone
Active Ink Slinger
LOL.
Other features not mentioned: Easy to find, colourful (available in red, white etc), can be used for neck exercises (clutch between shoulder and head), durable - it can be dropped from one metre, easy to read number display (small piece of thin cardboard not included). Easy to clean, after those "special phone calls". Doubles as a nut cracker.