Active Ink Slinger
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God, I sure hope not, or I'm a raging cheating whore bag!!!
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Is Fantasising the same as cheating?
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Unlike what the person said above me, I am NOT, lol, what she said (even jokingly said). I don't have my thoughts drift to another man. I'm not saying it isn't normal, though, and I know many people do even when reading or watching a movie or looking at a magizine (not to mention porn and things), whether or not it is a real person, someone you know, or someone you make up in your mind, or a celebrity, etc. I guess it is cheating mentally but not physically. People can argue that all they may, but if you are married for a long time and the only thing that gets you going is the thought of someone elses face and you no longer think of your spouse while makimg love to them, then that is still sad. I feel like lotality goes beyond the most obvious action, it may or may not be different, and some may not count it, but it counts for something with me.
Active Ink Slinger
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Your imagination is your imagination, nothing more and nothing less. If thoughts were policed, we would all be in jail. I don't think there is a person in the world, that is of age, that has not fantasized about someone. No mater if you are in a relationship or not, as long as you don't act on them with another person then how can it be cheating.
I personally share my fantasies with my hubby and he with me. Sometimes it leads to role play and most of the time to better sex. Share your fantasies and what you like with your partner.
It all comes down to communication.
I personally share my fantasies with my hubby and he with me. Sometimes it leads to role play and most of the time to better sex. Share your fantasies and what you like with your partner.
It all comes down to communication.
...I thought that maybe a new life, a different life, wouldn’t be so bad. But where the hell did I put the receipt, and could you return something that was over twenty years old? Where do you go to get a new life when your old one has you so puzzled you don’t know how to fix it? Wish I knew.
-Anita Blake (Laurell K. Hamilton)
-Anita Blake (Laurell K. Hamilton)
Active Ink Slinger
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Fantasizing is one thing, and not just defined as 'the only thing that gets you going' or even necessarily something that you do while you are with your current partner (thinking about someone else). It can happen at any time of the day or night, with or without your partner present, and it can even be ABOUT your partner. Especially if there are things that you WISH your partner would do but they won't. Thinking about them doing things with you/to you (whether they actually will or not)
It doesn't exclusively mean that you are thinking of anyone and everyone BUT your partner. And it sure doesn't only mean that you are laying there pretending someone else is f*cking you. ;)
It doesn't exclusively mean that you are thinking of anyone and everyone BUT your partner. And it sure doesn't only mean that you are laying there pretending someone else is f*cking you. ;)
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by 1LovelyKinkyKitsune
Unlike what the person said above me, I am NOT, lol, what she said (even jokingly said). I don't have my thoughts drift to another man. I'm not saying it isn't normal, though, and I know many people do even when reading or watching a movie or looking at a magizine (not to mention porn and things), whether or not it is a real person, someone you know, or someone you make up in your mind, or a celebrity, etc. I guess it is cheating mentally but not physically. People can argue that all they may, but if you are married for a long time and the only thing that gets you going is the thought of someone elses face and you no longer think of your spouse while makimg love to them, then that is still sad. I feel like lotality goes beyond the most obvious action, it may or may not be different, and some may not count it, but it counts for something with me.
Maybe it depends to some people and I do like what you said My baby and I have to agree on what you posted. I do think it depends on the persons mind, but you know me how I fantasize about you everyday I dont think of anyone, but you lol. ;)
Lurker
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This really depends on your worldview. Start by defining the backdrop for cheating - that we are in a committed relationship with another. Then worldview is critical. In the Christian worldview the answer is yes if you are thinking about making it with another rather than your spouse (or your "common law" spouse). The gospel is so specific - just thinking about another (lust) is considered the same as actually having sex with the fantasy partner. Of course, in this worldview the whole point is recognizing that we are not capable of being "without sin" on our own. Since I call myself a Christian and I am on this website, I recognize I am failing on a regular basis...sobering.
Lurker
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of course not.
Lurker
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Quote by Reprehensiballs
If I have a fantasy about great sex with an imaginary (or even real) girl, is that cheating?
If you fantasise about eating a cream cake, you get all the pleasure, but you will not put on any calories.
If you fantasise about other women, you will get pleasure, but none of the risk associated with extra marital or adulterous affairs!.....
X.
Lurker
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No, cheating is when you cheat on somebody, fantasising is about experiencing a pleasure or other feeling using the power of the mind.
Lurker
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I dont believe so. Its healthy to imagine and to feel pleasure from outside thoughts. Having a fantasy isnt always based on sex and yet we call them dreams and they seem to be accepted by the masses. I suppose its a individual choice to know where you draw the line, but for me when involving a fantasy and sharing it with another in chat its fine.
Active Ink Slinger
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I can have a fantasy and perhaps share it here on LUSH...but that (**&^& skillet would bust my head open if my wife knew.
Lurker
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Fantasizing is a natural part of being a human being.
Lurker
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If it is then im screwed.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Reprehensiballs
My wife and I both have fantasies yet have remained (physically at least) faithful for the last 25 years. I just wondered about people's take on this.
In my opinion, the thing that makes something "cheating" is that you're going behind your partner's back against his or her wishes. So if your wife doesn't mind that you fantasize about things that don't involve her, it's not cheating.
I hope I've interpreted your question correctly, because it appears some other people are interpreting it differently. They've answered it as if you wanted to know whether fantasizing about someone other than your partner is morally wrong or whether fantasizing about someone other than your partner will/could create problems in your relationship.
Answering that "fantasizing is natural and normal and we all do it; therefore it's not cheating" doesn't really answer the question (not to mention it's illogical). There are lots of things that come naturally to us that we all do that aren't okay. Being greedy or prideful is natural, but it doesn't make it morally acceptable.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by WSCLG
Is fantasizing the same as cheating? For the most part, I have to say no. But, it depends to an extent. If all you do is fantasize about others whilst making love to your partner, then it kind of means you're not into them so much. At that point I would recommend you take a step back and think about what it is you really want versus what you have. Amazingly, most people realize that what they have is way better than any fantasy.
Now - having said that - if you and your partner fantasize together, well then - relax and enjoy the ride, eh?
This is by far the best post.
If you fantasise about being with someone else, you are cheating. You're partner assumes that you are having sex with them. If you're thinking of somebody else that's cheating them of the truth.
If you are fantasising about your partner, that is fine.
Active Ink Slinger
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I don't think it is cheating. As long as you make no effort to act on those fantasies it definitely isn't cheating.
Lurker
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So define the difference between dreaming and fantasising?
Active Ink Slinger
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It can be, yes...it depends on your mindset. Do you admit your fantasies or keep them secret from your lover?
Wild at Heart
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No it's not the same as cheating. Fantasizing is normal and everyone does it.
Where it gets troublesome though is if your partner or yourself is fantasizing about the same person every time they/you think about sex. Your partner may not be physically cheating but if there is another person they are constantly thinking about then you have a bit of a problem in your relationship, especially if this person is someone your partner interacts with. I know that if I was constantly thinking about another girl instead of the girl I was with then I would feel like I was faking it with my partner and it's really not fair to them. I would feel very guilty.
Where it gets troublesome though is if your partner or yourself is fantasizing about the same person every time they/you think about sex. Your partner may not be physically cheating but if there is another person they are constantly thinking about then you have a bit of a problem in your relationship, especially if this person is someone your partner interacts with. I know that if I was constantly thinking about another girl instead of the girl I was with then I would feel like I was faking it with my partner and it's really not fair to them. I would feel very guilty.
Active Ink Slinger
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Nope, that's why it's called fantasizing
Lurker
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LOL No Way!! Is fantasizing about cheating cheating?LOL
Lurker
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I love your luscious lips Blue Orchd
Mmmm...fantasizing:)
Mmmm...fantasizing:)
Lurker
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no fantasys are great
Active Ink Slinger
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That would make all of us cheaters wouldn't it? Everybody fantasizes at some point. Seems like a silly question to me.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Mysteria27
Absolutely not.
Cheating is physical not fantasy....
The lady knows what she is talking about
Forum Player
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Tough question, I would think it's a personal choice in the way you look at it. What is my definition may not be yours. So yes I gave a nonanswer, let your conscience be your guide.
R_R
R_R
The Bee's Knees
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depends on how much you fantasize. if you're CONSTANTLY thinking about being with someone else, chances are you should probably go ahead and make that move.
EDIT: let me clarify; in general i don't believe that fantasizing is cheating. it's a healthy sexual outlet that rarely hurts anybody.
EDIT: let me clarify; in general i don't believe that fantasizing is cheating. it's a healthy sexual outlet that rarely hurts anybody.
Say. Her. Name.
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
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OMG of course not.
Fantasy is about imagination and freedom. It is life affirming. It is in no way cheating.
That said, others here are right on about sharing your fantasies. When you feel free enough to share your fantasies with your partner, you are literally making your fantasies come to life. It's like Wonderland.
Fantasy is about imagination and freedom. It is life affirming. It is in no way cheating.
That said, others here are right on about sharing your fantasies. When you feel free enough to share your fantasies with your partner, you are literally making your fantasies come to life. It's like Wonderland.
Active Ink Slinger
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Absolutely not! In fact, don't some people use it to get themselves in the mood or get off during the act? Hmmm???