I am looking for more inventive ways then taking away the cell phone or grounding (if I could) a 18+ teen. He has been a total PIA and getting into trouble. Your thoughts?
if he is over 18 and not listening? i'd do what my parents did to me. my house, you live in it , my rules. Don't like it? get your own place. or since you cant really get charged with child abuse, knock some sense into him.
Asking him to leave would be the last possible option. The last. a physical altercation would be difficult at best..... and again not what I want...
in that situation, im not sure what to say. I'm not a parent so perhaps I shouldn't bother voicing my opinion, i was just going off of what happened between my folks and my self. i wound up moving out on my own choice, when presented with the option. i've stuck it out ever since, but god has it sucked.
Id just agree with Shylass, try a talk at a nuetral location. find out as best you can what you can do to make it more satisfactory for either party.
I have an 18 year old son. I agree with the prior posts it is your home and he must respect the house rules that are clearly laid out. That said privacy is a privilege in our home. You act up and disobey the house rules you lose your door. Believe me I have taken my son down to issued clothing, shoes, no door and even took his light in the room from him to get his attention.
I would however also like to encourage you, try talking as adults. This time in their lives is confusing. At 18 they feel entitled to make adult decisions however there must be an understanding with that comes adult consequences. Regardless I try to always tell my sons that I may not like their choices but I will always love them. I will pray that this works out for you soon.
You need sit him down and make him tell you the truth and scare him a little. Don't be his friend be his parent. Don't let him walk away or shrug it off, get to the bottom of it now. Tough love is needed not a friend.
i started paying rent at 18. perhaps a little autonomy would make in appreciate all you do ...
littlemissbitch ~ professional face ripper offer, at your service..
I have three 18yo+ daughters so its a little different. I make it clear that they may be considered adults now and I really cant nor do i wish to control their lives. But they live in my house and they must obey my rules. I have been pretty liberal with them to a point since I know there are things they are gonna do anyhow and to be honest, they havent given me any reason to discpline them severely. But they also know I am their mom and must be respected. I think the best way is to talk to them as adults and explain my point of view, not just tell them this is the way and that's that!!
I did come home one evening and found one of them having sex in our pool. I told her I understand she is sexually active but it is my house and she has to respect the people who live here or she can find her own place to live. She appologized and it hasnt happened since (at least to my knowledge).
I am not a parent, but I see my sister with her kids and also think about when I was that age. she has 2 girls and a boy, all over 19 and all still living at home, though the youngest in in college, so gone for most of the school year. While all the kids are pretty good, and always have been about curfews and house rules, they have all had there little rebellions, but the boy is the worst one. He has a tendency to butt heads with my sister and she has tried talking, yelling, reasoning and every thing else. The one thing she has not been able to do is to get her husband to talk to him. being a boy, she thinks it would be more effective if the ultimatums or discussions came from him, rather than from her.
Is that an option for you?
Change the password on the computer!
A child over the age of 18, if they're over 18 are ADULTS, even if they're your child. If they live at home and can't follow the rules, kick their asses out. It all depends on what you mean, being a pain in the ass. There is many ways you can go about it depending on the level of how they're behaving. Than again, they're of age. Time to move out.....
no calls in and no calls out...His comp becomes mine..I bought them both...He is 16 and soon to be 17 in May and absoutely hates not being able to communicate
doing my best to be good..
Alot depends on what his situation at home really is. Does he have a job? Does he pay for most of his "stuff" or do you? If you pay for most of his stuff, you have the power in the situation. No gas money, no car access, no cell phone, etc., can be a real wake up call for someone that age.
I'd suggest you disconnecting from him, not just financially, but emotionally. With some kids (especially sons) the more we care as parents, the less they care about their own behavior/future. If you stopped pushing him, grilling him, pestering him, bailing him out, supporting him and started ignoring him ... he might realize quickly that his best form of support is now unaffected by his shit behavior. He'd be on his own and be forced to think about the decisions he makes and the consequences that follow. Make him care about his future by cutting the "apron strings" and ignoring his bad behavior. Removing support in all forms --including $-- might just be the wake up call he needs.
When I was that age, long ago, my parents charged me for various things that I did. When that did not work I was asked to leave.
My oldest is only 15, but when I turned 18 my options were to go to college or pay rent. I was 18 and looking to party and enjoy my freedom. I moved out soon afterwards and learned to grow up really quick. I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction of seeing me struggle or move back home, so I busted my ass and bought my home by the time I turned 22. It taught me alot about life.
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hide toilet paper, laundry detergent, body soap, toothpaste. Give zero $$.., then pray lol 
