Anyone else have aging parents?
If the people that do.. are you finding evolving, idiosyncrasies, new quirks, stubbornness, inability to adopt new concepts, and even early onset dementia?
Those who have healthy and astute procreators, count your blessings now, as the rest of us are in for an interesting, scary, funny and painful next few years.
My mother was perfectly with it until she broke her patella two years ago, being almost 70 years old and confined indoors for 6 months, really took a toll on her physicality and her mental well-being.
In the next post or two later tonight or tomorrow I will give you some zany examples of what day to day life is like for me dealing with an aging parent..,
Would love to hear from anyone else dealing with anything similar, I’m sure there’s got to be some people here, like myself, just want to bang their heads against the wall.
I will edit for grammar and punctuation when I feel like it, if there are any mistakes please feel free to acknowledge them.
Peace
My parents are only 65 and 61, but I shepherded my grandmother through lung cancer treatment a few years ago, and that took a lot out of me! She was sharp as a tack right up to the end, thankfully. It killed me to watch what that horrid disease did to her body.
I too have this experience. The role reversal is very difficult for both parent and child. You have to have a lot of patience and remember that your parents have given you love and care all of their lives.
I am taking care of my 85 year old Dad, as well as two teenage girls. It can be frustrating, and at times overwhelming. My Dad is slowly slipping into dementia, and in quite a bit of pain.
Despite the hardship, you are right, WellMade, they took care of us, and what goes around comes around, now it's our turn.
Thank you everyone for the great replies.. I havent had too much time to spend on the forums but that will change shortly.
Time needs to be taken to carefully articulate my response and decide what stories will be shared. It sure does feel good to have a thread where ideas and experiences can bounce off one another.
Again, thanks for your replies and your patience.
My mom is 73. She now blames me for all her woes. Everything that has gone wrong in her life is somehow my fault. She lost her house and for lack of a better term, ran away. She refused to tell me where she was going or where she was living for over a year and a half. Finally, she came by to see us. She was supposed to meet us for dinner, but was three hours later. We offered her a bed for the night (it was 10:00 pm before she showed up) only because we were afraid she'd fall asleep on the road. She's decided she likes my husband more than me becasue in her mind, I'm an alcoholic and a shitty mother. She blames my father for turning me against her (nothing could be further from the truth.) She's just pissed that I chose to have a relationship with my father before it's too late. I told her straight up that if she doesn't like it, she can remove herself from my life. Yet, I was good enough to be asked for money for a lawyer and later an apartment that she ended up not getting and God knows what she spend the money on. Money burns a hole in her pocket and she can't save $20 to save her life. Oh yeah, and she begged for gas money that we gave her, even though she assured me she had the financial resources to make the trip in the first place (yeah... me.)
My father is 74 and is a true Republican. Everything the GOP does is perfect including our current POTUS and everything the Democrats even touched is just a piece of shit. He hated Obama for a multitude of reasons, especially the fact that he was black. He constantly complains about how much in taxes he is forced to pay and moved out of "liberal California" because he hated the politics there. He's a proud member of the NRA and is convinced that the 2nd Amendment will one day be repealed. Thus, you'll pry his gun from his cold, dead hand. Yeah, kinda like Charlton Heston. Once he gets an idea in his head, it's there no matter what, even if it's completely wrong.
Ironically, politics is the only area my parents agree upon.
Dealing with their respective drama is stressful. My husband has the luxury of telling either of them off if he so chooses. Me, I just nod and smile.
I got word a couple of years ago that my Mom had pancreatic cancer so I moved to be closer and spend as much time with her as possible...she lasted the six months they gave her almost to the day.
It wasn't til I got here did I realize how fragile Dad had become. He's 85 and gets around well and is still self-sufficient and we still play golf once or twice a month but, yeah, I'm dealing with pretty much everything you mentioned.
My parents are in their mid 70s.
My mother still is active, however she has no life of her own so she likes to stick her nose into every member of the family's business and offer unwarranted advice. Or likes to run people's lives. I find when I am on the phone to her, I get frustrated because I only wanted to tell her maybe two things and she will just talk about other family members and nonsense that isn't worth listening to. I love her to bits but she is sometimes annoying. I am now the sound board for when my mother is stressed.
My father on the other hand, he isn't well. He likes it when my husband comes over and my dad tells him stories from his youth. Both of them go to the doctors a lot because of my father's health.
My in-laws are a few years younger then my parents and both are still spritely. Mother in law is like my mother, clearly has some past issues that have not resolved and both of them repeat their stories over and over. I sit and listen to them even though I have heard it many times.
What I find with the four of them is they are not confident in areas, they have to ask my husband or I advice on issues or ideas. I do worry about them because age is starting to show, it is really hard to stand and watch my mother second guess herself in situations. PS I have caught my parents drive past my house a lot of times, before I moved in my area, my parents rarely drove in that part of town. Now they drive by to check if I am home.
As the years tick by I know I don't have much time left with them. I do try and see them all at least once a week.
I'm dealing with this right now. Don't have time to go into it right now but will soon. Looking forward to what other people have to say.
I am an aging parent. Well, not really. Aging step-parent.
