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101 Ways To Annoy People
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Active Ink Slinger
Sing "Rump titty rump titty rump titty rump Bonanza!
Rump titty rump titty titty titty rump titty rump titty rump rump rump!" Over and over.
Rump titty rump titty titty titty rump titty rump titty rump rump rump!" Over and over.
Active Ink Slinger
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." Some of my previous co-workers did that, so-called Psychologists!!!
Gingerbread Lover
When a shop asistant asks if you'd like any help, reply, "No thanks. What I'm looking for is...". Then make them help you, and take aaaaaaaages over it.
Also, start off your request like this:
"I'm... Uh... I want... *click tongue against teeth and drum fingers on the counter* What I'm looking for is... *look round to make sure the shop is full of other customers wanting to leave* I neeeeed... I wonder, do you have any (thing the shop doesn't sell)?"
Let the assistant answer, and then, using the same style, make them get out sixteen variations of the same thing. Every time the assistant goes to serve somebody else whilst you decide, ask them a question so they can't. Every so often, let them serve somebody, and keep clicking your tongue and drumming your fingers.
When you finally decide you're going to leave, don't apologise for wasting time, but simply say, "No, I'm not totally sure what I want. I'll come in next week. What days are you in?"
Do this every two weeks.
Also, start off your request like this:
"I'm... Uh... I want... *click tongue against teeth and drum fingers on the counter* What I'm looking for is... *look round to make sure the shop is full of other customers wanting to leave* I neeeeed... I wonder, do you have any (thing the shop doesn't sell)?"
Let the assistant answer, and then, using the same style, make them get out sixteen variations of the same thing. Every time the assistant goes to serve somebody else whilst you decide, ask them a question so they can't. Every so often, let them serve somebody, and keep clicking your tongue and drumming your fingers.
When you finally decide you're going to leave, don't apologise for wasting time, but simply say, "No, I'm not totally sure what I want. I'll come in next week. What days are you in?"
Do this every two weeks.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
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