I recently had a conversation with a couple of friends in which we questioned our respective expectations/definitions of various elements of a sexual encounter.
Our responses in some cases differed wildly. Perhaps unsurprising given the three of us included a straight male, a gay female and a bisexual female.
I thought I'd pop my Lush Forum cherry by kindly asking a wider audience for their thoughts. I'm curious if we might find a general consensus or if our expectations retain such a spectrum on a wider scale.
Our questions were:
When does/should foreplay start? Our answers ranged from "at the start of a night" (if we think in terms of a date/random approach in a bar scenario) to "when you're naked"
How long should foreplay last? (We had as long as necessary to "up to two hours")
At what stage does it become/what constitutes "having sex"? This was interesting in regards to how it is perceived differently between a straight couple and a gay couple. E.g. my gay friend asked if I would classify it as sex if she were to pleasure herself while her partner "helped to get her off without physically touching". In my ignorent curiosity I asked how she determined the point foreplay ended and "sex" began when making love with another woman.
How long should sex last (post foreplay)?
In respect of a straight encounter; is it sex if there's no actual "sexual intercourse"? If so, what makes it sex?
Would you be left disappointed if a sexual encounter ended without actual intercourse, even if your partner had made you come already?
What's more important; you or your partner getting off?
For a guy (either in a straight or gay scenario), if you come and your partner hasn't, do you always make sure they get off too?
Very grateful for any thoughts on some or all of the above. Would also of course be interesting to know from which gender / sexual orientations opinions are coming from.
Cheers!
Nick