I feel exactly the same way as you looking forward to what people have to say
Guess some may/will find me a bit boring but I agree with the ladies above and tend towards a soft cuddle and let's see what , um.... develops.
Although I like spanking, I'm not into the whole dom(me)/sub dynamic. Just like a situaton where hot bottoms are given and received! :-)
I believe the greatest sex organ is the mind. I know my biggest turn-on comes from me causing arousal in my partner. I have done many things that don't turn me on in the slightest because they caused pleasure for my partner, which ends up turning me on.
I am also an old fashion gentleman. There are some things I just can't bring myself to do. For instance, I can't be verbally abusive to women. However, I do enjoy spanking a willing bottom!
LordCephius and I appear to be cut from the same or at least similar cloth. I'm a casual, fairly laidback sort of Dom. My kink is nowhere near extreme, I don't think. I like tying up a willing sub and turning her every which way but loose while delaying ... time and time again ... her ultimate mind-blowing climax. Mom raised me to respect all people but women in particular and never to strike a woman. So I not only refuse to beat a woman, I won't degrade nor humiliate her in any way, either. Which was fine for the majority of years involved with D/s fantasy games.
Until I met my first real-time brat.
For simplicity's sake, I will call her Nan. Nan when I met her was more wannabe submissive than actual, practicing sub. She wasn't "in the lifestyle" but she was extremely curious about being in a D/s relationship. When I finally came out to her as a practicing Dom (without an active sub at the time), she was a fount of bubbling, erupting questions. I did my best to answer them and turned her on to a few online resources that I thought she might find helpful. Before much longer, however, she wanted more than pictures and reading material. She wanted to experience being a sub, and I was more than willing to serve this tall, blue-eyed, Icelandic blonde delight.
I brought her into it easy. Light bondage, at first, and didn't edge her too heavily. She took to it like the proverbial duckling to water. Early on her bratty streak began to emerge and flavor her budding submissive personality. Long story shorter, she came out bratty from a latent desire to be spanked. She finally faced me down and all but demanded that I whip her ass. I told her I wasn't into hitting women, bratty nor otherwise. She flat out hit me with, "If YOU don't whip me, I will find someone else who will!" So I whipped her. Told her to drop her jeans and grab her ankles, and I went to work on her butt with my belt. I laid it to her sort of heavily because I wanted to show her that getting whipped involved real pain. The sex we shared after I beat her was the best we had shared to date.
Nan taught this old-school, set-in-his ways Dom that some subs honestly do get off on painful stimuli. And if my sub is one of those who will brat to no end to get her end enflamed, then I will fire it up for her! I am still not heavy into dishing out painful punishment, but so long as I know that is what my sub wants from me, she is going to get it.
Thanks for the question.
"...I'm just very curious as to the kinds of thoughts that go through one's head when they're getting aroused from being choked, or held down, or slapped or spit on, or called 'horrible' names."
Lascivious thoughts, what else, if there is consent, even so in BDSM.
' Life, life ! Death, death ! How curious it is ! '
( Daniel Webster's dying saying (1782-1852), sometimes referred to as the "Great Orator."... )
It's only happened three times (different women) but fucking while the husband was sleeping upstairs was an incredible turn-on.
