Do we choose what are sexuality is or does it choose us? Are we born gay, bi, straight, and transgendered? Do our parents play a role? Our friends? Things we watch, or listen to? Is this like a chicken before the egg type of question?
For most of my life I thought is wasn't, but after my husband and another couple decided to "break me in" I now find sex with other women my choice to repeat.
I can't speak for everyone but I never chose to be gay. In fact, in the beginning, I tried to fight it because it was and I felt ashamed for being attracted to girls so it definitely wasn't a choice.
I don't believe sexuality is a choice. I wouldn't have chosen to be bisexual. I've always thought life would be so much easier if I were either straight or gay.
I believe that TRUE attraction and sexuality is hard wired, even with things many outright detest and may call deviant or sick. Our ACTIONS however, are choices. This applies to everything sexual from what society may consider normal to the most depraved acts. But I also believe that the majority of people fall sexually within a spectrum just right or left of center (or a tad more, but not slammed to one side completely) concerning their own gender and the opposite. And how they act is often times dictated by culture and social norms. I also believe that there is a growing number that while they may be inclined one way or the other (or neutral) use sexuality as a fashion statement or social/personal statement that is frankly not quite accurate.... you know, it is "cool" to be X, so that is what they present themselves as.
But again, overall, I believe the base desires and attractions are not a choice. The choice comes in concerning how people address those desires, and their actions accordingly.
Put it this way, if sexuallity was a choice, I'd be married with 2.2 children, a normal housewife. I am not a trend setter, and although JohnC above thinks that it seems to be a fashion statement dictated by social norms, most gays and lesbians are never considered normal growing up. Yes , now as an adult, we are finally getting to be accepted, in some ways, by some people, but what you forget is the years of torment, guys and gals, went through being gay as a child and after. I would have loved to had grown up as what you consider normal but I never had that choice, guess I am not normal and if people like you are the norm, I'd rather be gay.
Quote by kinkygirl Put it this way, if sexuallity was a choice, I'd be married with 2.2 children, a normal housewife. I am not a trend setter, and although JohnC above thinks that it seems to be a fashion statement dictated by social norms, most gays and lesbians are never considered normal growing up. Yes , now as an adult, we are finally getting to be accepted, in some ways, by some people, but what you forget is the years of torment, guys and gals, went through being gay as a child and after. I would have loved to had grown up as what you consider normal but I never had that choice, guess I am not normal and if people like you are the norm, I'd rather be gay.
I think you misunderstood me, and took one part out of the whole. That was only ONE thing I said, and by far not my entire thought on the matter. And I think you know full well that there are many out there that it IS..... maybe not most (probably not) but they exist and we both see them. And there is no need to insult anyone, I never insulted you nor people of any orientation. Please read exactly what I wrote and not pick one small part out (that was valid but you took personal offense to even though it did not apply to you) and focus on that. We have had good interactions on the forum and I see no reason why that should not continue.