Hi All,
Interested to hear your opinions about first loves.
I recently turned 40.
I met my 1st true love @ age 22.
For various reasons, the relationship lasted a few years. It was a very impressionable time for me.
I loved him deeply and passionately.
For the first 10 years after we broke up, I thought of him and always wanted to discuss with my closest friends, the relationship, the impact it had on me etc
Even whilst in relationships with other men.
I dont think of him as much now, and the pain has subsided but I do question whether my thoughts around him/the relationship were as intense because it was my first love, or because I feel like there is unfinished business?
Do others feel as strongly about their 1st loves?
Is it me or is it most?
Thanks
When I was 17 I had a girlfriend that I was head over heels in love with. She wasn't my first girlfriend but my most important. She cheated on me with a mutual friend, just a one time thing and admitted to me what had happened the next day. I was shattered, broke up with her and joined the military.
I never really got completely over her. I didn't hear from her or about her for more than 25 years, I thought of her often throughout the years. I always thought I would have had a happier and more passionate life if I could have found it in my heart to forgive her, but I was young and my pride was injured.
We finally reconnected via a social network site, met for lunch and the feelings were still there for both of us. We were both married to other people by then, but the passion was there and we had an affair that lasted a couple of years. I'm not proud of that, buts what happened.
Sorry to ramble, but to answer your question, I'm still not over her.
I think its the age Shellback.
I think those years are very fragile ones and when things go wrong, for various reasons, we find it hard to forget or understand.
Only because we are also discovering who we are, and also dealing with new situations and emotions.
You never forget your first love.
I certainly won't forget mine.
Would I go to him now? No.
A persons first love is new and magical and special. You never really forget them, even after you have fallen in love with someone else and moved on. However it ended, badly or with well wishes, the memories stay with you, and they are yours to cherish.
I occasionally think of my first love. I think it is due to the fact that so much in our teen years shapes the rest of our lives, so everything that happens then affects us greatly for ever. So, the first period, the first kiss, the first love... even the first sushi or plane ride... whatever it is, is a greater impact on our personalities. That's my thoughts, for what it's worth...
I suppose my first real love came along when I was 18. It was all all consuming love. There was electricity that could be felt by everyone in the room with us. We had just about everything in common. Boy could we dance. Such a sexy and loving relationship...we would have made you sick. He was the first guy I moved in with and thought he was my forever. That is until he found is forever with someone else. I bailed instead of letting him play me for a fool and date us both.
I think of him often and wonder what if... I think that another woman's living the life I should be living. But his life may not be as perfect as it appears and who's to say he's still not having extracurricular activities with the nurses on his service.
For me it's a combination of unfinished business as well as him being someone I trusted and gave my heart to unconditionally. That and with facebook and the like... His life is always popping up for me to see.
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Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
