Rookie Scribe
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What could I use as a dildo?
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Wise Ass
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It has worked for all of the girls I have been with before why don't you try a....Dildo?
The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker
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Active Ink Slinger
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Go get a salami from the deli and put it in a condom. 
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