My boyfriend and I are both 20, and were virgins before we decided to have sex. I had not really masturbated any and our first time was incredibly painful (He's not small). We have tried many times since then, but each time is still very painful. We've used lube and lots of it, but it doesn't seem to help. I recently bought a vibrator to maybe stretch myself out, but we still avoid sex. Any tips to make sex actually enjoyable for me?
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Sex is still painful for me
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Quote by HPobsessed
My boyfriend and I are both 20, and were virgins before we decided to have sex. I had not really masturbated any and our first time was incredibly painful (He's not small). We have tried many times since then, but each time is still very painful. We've used lube and lots of it, but it doesn't seem to help. I recently bought a vibrator to maybe stretch myself out, but we still avoid sex. Any tips to make sex actually enjoyable for me?
Talk to your OBGYN about this. There are actual medical (non serious) issues that can create pain during sex. One condition is where your vaginal muscles tense - almost like a cramp - during penetration.
If you don't have a GYN you need one anyway.
Also - try different positions if you haven't already.
Detention Seeker
Quote by Metilda
Talk to your OBGYN about this. There are actual medical (non serious) issues that can create pain during sex. One condition is where your vaginal muscles tense - almost like a cramp - during penetration.
I would also suggest relaxation prior to sex like a scented bath, and lots of foreplay before the actual act of lovemaking.
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
Quote by kylie_kained
lots of foreplay before the actual act of lovemaking.
Yup ... going to the point where you are feeling like you need to beg .... you'll surely be plenty wet enough (and that HELPS the walls relax to accommodate the girth) .... and go s-l-o-w ....
Enjoy!
Active Ink Slinger
Yeah, I've been here when I first starting having sex. I don't think it's unusual that sex might still be uncomfortable for you especially since you are both each other's first sexual partners. Sometimes it just takes time to get used to one another and with your own sexuality. Hell, as sexual as I was, it wasn't until I hit 29-30 that I REALLY started to enjoy sex! Barring any official medical reasons why you're experiencing pain during intercourse, try and relax about it. Talk about it with your partner and maybe take a bit more time with foreplay as well as using appropriate lubes and toys if you're open to them. Over thinking it and worrying about it will only make it worse, trust me on this one. Good luck sweetie.
Active Ink Slinger
I had this same problem for years! It finally went away when my ex-boyfriend stopped putting it in my ass and took my vagina virginity. Enough was enough!
Active Ink Slinger
It sounds to me that you're apprehensive about it hurting and tensing up which makes you tighter. I would practice on yourself as often as possible. Buy a vibe or dildo and a big tube of lube. Learn to move it in and around at your own pace and pleasure. You will stretch the muscles and learn to relax on it. Or try this exercise. Put both forefingers in and pull sideways away from each other, and then hold it while you breath deeply and concentrate on relaxing your muscles down there. You should feel loose in the pelvis. Bearing down; a pushing outwards from the vagina feeling, can also help while you're doing this. When you're able to do yourself pretty easy, you'll likely not worry about taking him in.