Hi hunni i have some very similar experiences to you I think that once we get that "settled in" feeling in a relationship the fun of sex and bedroom antics is something that soon becomes mundane. My daughter is 5 and since I had her my sex drive went down to virtually nothing. we do it maybe twice a month if we are lucky now and like yourself I often feel my most horny when he is away on the night shift!!! I recently bought my first dildo and I find that is really helping.
It sounds strange but get on here and cyber with some guys - I did and I am so glad cos it's such a turn on. U stand little to no chance of ever meeting these guys and u can act out your wildest fantasies with them. I had zero libido before I came to Lush and now I think about sex all the time.
I hope this helps a little. I will add u as a friend and I am happy to chat whenever u like hunni xx
If you really love him and plan on going through with the marriage, you really want to find a way to get your head back into the game. I recommend initiating sex with him often, even when you aren't in the mood. His body has a natural frequency for orgasm for optimum performance. If he's in his twenties, this might be once per day. By the time he's fifty, it might drop to once every three days. If his body starts to operate at his optimum frequency, his orgasms will slow to maximize his enjoyment rather than rushing to maximize his reproductiveness. There's nothing his mind can do to change this, so if he won't masturbate at that frequency (which might not help you get over your low libido anyway), you might have to get him there somehow and if you're not horny, you can still get him off. That's half the battle.
When you start the frequent initiating, tell him that you aren't horny but that you want to be. Tell him what he can do to get you closer before penetration. Don't make it ridiculous like swinging naked from the chandelier. If you're going to stay with him, you have to make him not 100% responsible for turning you on. Watch videos, read stories, etc... Maybe do some of that together, but understand that there is nothing he can do to fix your dysfunction without your cooperation. Your brain is a sex organ that is 90% self-stimulating. It needs to pull it's weight. Take ownership of all of your share of the problem. Counseling might be required. If so, go alone at first to try to fix your low libido first. The good news is that your libido should increase until you reach 35-40.
Eventually, he will initiate more often and you will read each other's cues better. Hope this helps.
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Has the wedding happened?
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Why not read some stories instead
NEW! Want a quick read for your coffee break? Why not try this... Flash Erotica: Scrubber We ran into the same issue. Sex was maybe once a month, maybe twice here and there. From the male perspective the biggest thing was learning to learn to hold back. When you feel like your getting to your breaking point back off and slow down for a breif moment and then get back into it. After a while of doing so you'll learn to have more self control. Worked here. We went from a couple minutes to her having multiple orgasms and me lasting over 40 minutes. A lot of it in my opinion is mental.
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