Help me feel sexy again

9 Mar 2012

Hi Everyone.

6 months ago i was diagnoised with quite severe depression and anxiety. I have been prescribed medication and i am very slowly getting better. However one of the side effects of the drugs is that i have lost all my libedo. I don't feel the need to have sex. My fiance is very understanding but sex 3 times in the last 6 months is just not fair on him. I have tried the usual putting on my best dres,s reading sexy storie,s watching porn etc but i just don't get horny. Even when we do have sex i don't get wet and pretend to be enjoying it for him.

How do i overcome this. I want to feel sexy again and resume my love life.

9 Mar 2012

I am sure that is the medication. I wonder if that side effect may subside as time goes on. Talk to your doctor about that. The doctor may have some ideas that would help, another medication or something.

Is the depression a long term thing that you will always need that medication for?

9 Mar 2012

I was told the medication was a 3-6 month thing but i haven't got better quick enough to come off it yet. Doctor basiclly told me to grin and bear it its just one of those things!

9 Mar 2012

You have my message but you need to believe and feel sexy yourself......you are sexy. It won't happen overnight but you will get there hun x

9 Mar 2012

Complementary therapies could help you here - not only can they help to offset the side-effects, but they can help to restore your self-confidence/libido...

(I'm happy to give you more information, if you'd care to PM me xxx)

You WILL get back to 'normal' - (whatever normal is!!)

9 Mar 2012

Those are some sexy boots you are wearing! I don't know if that helps any. Stay positive, I bet things will get better and you will again feel like the hot sexy babe you are.

10 Mar 2012

First I need to say that I understand your feelings. It's not trivial and it's not easy.

There is no magic treatment that works for everyone. Proper medication sometimes helps, but it usually has to be tied to psychological approaches as well. You are a sexy girl from your pics, anyway, but feeling sexy comes about when you finally deal with the issues that are causing your depression. Happiness, enthusiasm, sensuality is not something you can achieve directly by trying for it, it comes naturally as you absorb yourself in your life. Perhaps you are trying too hard for specific things.

Just remember, the medication is not a cure but a kind of training wheels that you can use as you try to eliminate the feelings that are causing you pain.

10 Mar 2012

Quote by Mazza
Complementary therapies could help you here - not only can they help to offset the side-effects, but they can help to restore your self-confidence/libido...

(I'm happy to give you more information, if you'd care to PM me xxx)

You WILL get back to 'normal' - (whatever normal is!!)

Milk Thistle.

xx SF

11 Mar 2012

I suffer very badly from depression. I also react even worse to every medication I have tried - and it's been a LOT. I could write a book on it, sadly.

I am not a doctor, and you should never follow anybody else's advice, but not all doctors are right, and not all meds are right for you. I would NEVER suggest you come off your meds, and if/when you do, you must do so safely and properly and with your doctor's guidance. But it might be that the meds you are on are not right for you. I have gone 6-8 months at a time on meds that made me much more poorly trying to work out if they would help or not. And there comes a point where you either see improvement, or you don't. If you are, that's awesome. And I would say it is very likely that you will be able to get to the point where you can have the dose lowered at some point in the future, which may do wonders for the issue you have posted about.

I would suggest, if you are not still not happy, go back to your doctor (or request another one). It's great that there is slow improvement, but he sounds like a bit of a pillock, to be honest, to say you just have to grin and bear it. That may be true, but there are also many medications you could try, if you wanted to swap. I would say you are definitely going along the right lines by asking here for help, and I commend you!

I cannot take meds because the many I have tried (about 11 and when you consider 6-8 months plus 2-3 months to wean off, that's a lot) but I have found that whilst St. John's Wort does not make me "better", I also don't have the side effects the others have given me and there was a tiny bit of improvement. I had a few that completely turned off my libido, and whilst I didn't have any partners, it made me sad and frustrated and feeling more isolated and depressed than ever!

If you want to go down the alternative or complementary therapy route, just make sure that it won't have any adverse reactions with the meds you are on.

What helps me is being out in nature (fishing, photography, walking, when I am able), and as I am a bit better now, writing and small craft projects (my creativity fell out for a couple of years).

Sometimes we do have to go through the valleys, and who knows, perhaps you knowing this is such a problem and wanting to do something about it is a sure sign you are definitely on the up!

I do feel for you, and I would encourage you to do what YOU feel most comfortable with. Maybe going back to your doctor and asking about something different, maybe going longer with the one you have, maybe going out with your lad with a camera and picnic to a lonely field on a warm day, maybe following some advice the others have given you...

Please remember that with such an illness, whilst your heart can tell you one thing, your head can tell you something very different. And vice versa. That is not your fault! I tell myself when I am most low (quite often at the moment, sadly), "There will be a better day". I just have to wait for it. And it does come, honest. sunny

The waiting for it is the worst.

But above all, I wish you very well, and I am so proud of you for getting to this point, and I hope you find it in yourself to be proud of you too!

Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.

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12 Mar 2012

Thanks for all of your posts peeps. keep 'em coming

12 Mar 2012

Hi Shadowcat,

I am afraid I have no advice to give.

All I can say is that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Big Hugs

xxx

12 Mar 2012

There is a technique being undertaken by a few in the medical field.. it is called Hormone Therapy.. they do a complete study of your body and harvest whatever they need from your own resources.. then revitalize them and inject them back into you.. they do have a very high success rate of giving people back that part of their lives they have lost.. Google it for more info.. best of luck Shadowcat..

13 Mar 2012

Remember to pamper yourself, go to the spa and get totally relaxed, revel in your own body...pump up the music and dance when your home alone doing ordinary things! Sexiness doesnt always come from the obvious but also from the everyday things, the things you do to take time for yourself.

15 Mar 2012

Shadowcat,

The fact that you are trying for your lover is already a plus!
What you feel for him is the desire to please him. And that is something you should be proud of!
You are SEXY for giving him your love and yourself!!!

Mentally, and possibly emotionally, you are disconnected and that is a natural situation with your diagnoses.

as others have already suggested, I would pursue couples or sensuality therapy for the two of you.
Just be sure to speak to the instructor / director of the program before hand to let them know what your situation is and what you are trying to seek from their assistance. A good instructor / director will let you know if their program applies to you or they would refer you to someone else who specializes or can help you!

Best of luck to you!

Kisses!

Steph