If you have already talked to him about this, honestly, nothing any of us can say will help. If you have not, then TALK TO HIM,
And if you know that giving him a blowjob gets him hard and then OFF, but you keep doing it.... ahhhhhh see a pattern here? ;)
Also don't encourage a man to do something... TELL HIM YOU WANT IT.
It really comes down to effective communication. Clarify "try and encourage". Have you clearly stated your needs?
Have to talk to him and make him understand he should be looking after you first before he cums
next time..tell him this.....
LADIES first...
So he doesn't even try to help you get off afterwards?
That's just rude
Firstly, he needs to have the desire to do something other than just get a blowjob. If he has other desires, he needs to begin to work on longevity.
As dpw said, the key is edging, meaning getting him close to cumming, but not allowing him to cum. As he starts to get close to cumming, you or he needs to distract him. Stop sucking, and change positions, or perhaps squeeze the tip of his penis, do something to prevent him from cumming. After a while he will begin to build up resistance.
If he enjoys sex, resistance is essential. A master can learn to balance at the very edge of cumming for a very long time. This is the experience of bliss.
Have the same problem. Always start with oral on lady till she gets done. Then it's my time.
he should be servicing your needs before his own
I've been here before. My long time (now ex) bf was very much like this. I still care about him a lot, but it was the main feature of why we split. We did/still do talk about it a lot, but his response has always been the same: "I'm sorry, but you know the way I am. Nothing has changed."
Basically if you have talked to him and he still hasnt realized that your needs are important too, then you have a choice to make. Either learn to live with this, or learn to live without him.
For me, I have realized that I am an important enough person in my own right that someone I am with needs to recognize that my needs are as important as their own.
I agree with all of the above. I love taking care of my lady first. I will get her off with out any expectation of reciprocation.
Communication is the key here. Let him know about your needs. Let him cum inside you and then tell him to get licking, maybe he will lick you first after that or he'll like licking his cum out of you. Either way you win.
I have a rather short fuse myself but will gladly pleasure a partner in other ways if I blow too soon for them. One thing that helps: I will give them a massage ending with an oral or manual finish before they even start on me. Gets me aroused (because I love touching and tasting another body) and gets them some action. Still only a partial solution, though, so looking for ways to extend the action is still important.
Also, try to fool around with non-genital contact for a while. Massages, breast play, making out can help get you aroused and give both of you some pleasure.
Communication is the key. I always try make sure my partner gets plenty of foreplay. If I come to quickly Im more than happy to eat here out till she comes.
sorry to hear that, some of us blokes need a bit of a lesson in thinking of others. i know its difficult to contain oneself at the point of extreme pleasure and will follow through without hesitation. however you have to verbally tell him that this self thinking is not acceptable in a sharing relationship, good advice already given but the best of luck with that. you could always impose restrictions on his pleasure if he don't conform to your request for fair play.
Time to take control hon put a dildo in his hand and tell him to get to work before your lips ever touch his cock! My bf actually loves doing me with my fav glass dildo after he's done me or while I'm giving the hubby a bj. With a lot of men once they have cum their done so make sure to get yours before he gets his if he's not going to get the job done.
Bunny12
Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off! The orgasm race is always one where a gentleman comes second. I am sure glad I don't have such a short fuse.
But to not get you off after you have gotten him off - that is just plain rude.
As others have stated, you need to be open and communicate with him on this. Don't try to encourage him. Tell him. Maybe you could try and deny him a blowjob, and when he asks for one. Tell him not until he gets you off first. He needs to learn that your needs are important too.
Deny him and let him know it is how you feel when you don't get your release for weeks on end. It might be a turn on for both of you to try edging.
Work on building up the length of time before he cums together. You could get him close, then have him get you close. Turn it into a bit of fun.
I wish you the best of luck with this one...
Surprised in reading this old thread that nobody mentioned 69.
Tie him up. Suck him hard but stop before he cums. Ride him for as longs a you want but don't let him cum. You should be able to tell if he is getting close to cumming. Get off him if necessary. Ignore all his pleas to let him cum. Frustrate the hell out of him! Straddle his face and don't get off until you have cum at least twice. Then go down and ride his cock some more. Repeat as often as desired.
When you feel you are FULLY satisfied, you can suck him off or untie him and let him fuck you hard. If you have kept him from cumming for an hour or two, he will cum in seconds, I promise.
have to say he needs to understand the lady comes first it almost may mean he has to get you off before you give him a blowjob
How much confidence do you have that he sincerely cares about whether you are sexually fulfilled? If you are not, sayanora. If yes, how willing are you to have the patience to teach him to put your needs first? Sexual fulfillment for men is simple, like addition and subtraction. for women, it is more akin to calculus. The vast majority of men have an orgasm every single time they have sex. For women, it is hit or miss. That explains why the sex toy industry exists for the most part. If he is incapable or unwilling to giving you at least one orgasm before he even thinks about his ejaculation, move on for your own sanity. Tell him y'all can still be friends. You seriously need a man with some empathy.
I have had a few prem men in my early days.
I have them engage me in foreplay until I am almost there and then hop on top and we have had more simultaneous orgasms that way than any other way.
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