Wonder if FemaleLed is the way to go?

12 Mar 2010

Ladies and Gents have you ever wondered if the FemaleLed lifestyle is for you? There is more to it than what meets the eye, it is an entire art form.
Paige Harrison is an expert on giving advice on FemaleLed relationships. I'm in the process of redeveloping her site to spread the word and her teachings by offering free content that was previously not available to just anyone. Check it out if you please at Paige-Harrison.com

12 Mar 2010

Are you here just to spam the site or do you have a legitimate relationship question?

12 Mar 2010

Not spamming, just believe in the methods that Paige preaches and wanted to offer that specialty to people who could be interested in learning more on that topic. I know I am a newbie here, but I have been following this website for a few days now and I have found a lot of the reads intriguing but not a lot of direction on a specific topic.

13 Mar 2010

I think I might just be a bit behind the times, but I have never heard of this " FemaleLed " coffee

13 Mar 2010

I think I might just be a bit behind the times, but I have never heard of this " FemaleLed " coffee

13 Mar 2010

Ha ha, seriously, is it just relationships that are led by females instead of males? That's what you are on about? Come on, a relationship should be an equal partnership between two people, no one needs to be the boss...

13 Mar 2010

I totally agree with Necho!

13 Mar 2010

It is what you make out it. Things are changing out in the world. Look at the work place is your boss a man or a woman? More bosses are becoming women because alot of them are very demanding, like to show off, and if you are a woman who looks good, men will bend over backwards for you too.

So imagine a female running the household. Alot of people dont think about it but many relationships are now turning that way. The husband gets laid off the wife is now the one who is paying most of the bills so she now has the chain of command. When someone is the sole provider the other person in the relationship has to respect that person more.

There are many ways to interpret this type of relationship base, this is just one example.

13 Mar 2010

We get it.

At least I get it.

FemDomAlphaDog.

Cool

The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.

13 Mar 2010

When someone is the sole provider the other person in the relationship has to respect that person more.

IMHO:

I couldn't disagree with that more. That's not how it is in a loving relationship. It's not a power struggle. It's about unconditional love. No one has to prove anything to anybody. Each partner accepts the other as they are, and there are no power trips.

13 Mar 2010

Quote by Krista
It is what you make out it. Things are changing out in the world. Look at the work place is your boss a man or a woman? More bosses are becoming women because alot of them are very demanding, like to show off, and if you are a woman who looks good, men will bend over backwards for you too.

So imagine a female running the household. Alot of people dont think about it but many relationships are now turning that way. The husband gets laid off the wife is now the one who is paying most of the bills so she now has the chain of command. When someone is the sole provider the other person in the relationship has to respect that person more.

There are many ways to interpret this type of relationship base, this is just one example.

I don't think that your example is a good one. If within a couple neither the man nor the woman are inclined to being in a D/s relationship, then a man being laid off work is not going to be the motivation for him to suddenly hand over all his rights of discussion and say in running a household and become submissive.

By your reasoning, if a woman remains home and works inside the home, running the household, being the primary care giver to children, if there are any, etc, she is automotically under her husband's rule, since the only thing that seems to matter in your example is income and the power that it implies. This is something that women and many men have been trying to move beyond for a long time now. If the person who remains at home and works were actually paid for what is done, the cost to most societies in monetary terms would be enormous. The idea that only work that is financially remunerated is work that has value is paternalistic and archaic.

Besides, whether a man or a woman is laid off, there is a tremendous amount of pressure to deal with. The blow to one's self-esteem cannot be swept under the carpet as being insignificant and attempting to impose at that moment either a female-led or male-led household where previously the contributions and decisions had been shared would exacerbate an already difficult situation and put added stress on a couple.

I know a couple who are in a female-led relationship. She is a stay-at-home mother, and he is the bread earner. He is, by nature, a male submissive. He is the one who wanted to be dominated, and who encouraged her in that regard. She was extremely reluctant to go down that path for fear of the potential abuse that could arise from it. The two of them researched the female-led relationship, drew up their own tailor made agreement, which they both signed, and they are proceeding slowly and carefully, with checks and balances that they are determined to maintain. I can assure you that it is not easy, yet both of them are working hard to make it a success.

It works for them, but they have chosen it. They know full well that it isn't the life-style choice for everyone.

13 Mar 2010

This perhaps not the place for a Lesbian to step into, but here I am. My Lady and I run a very large ranch and have a number of people that work for us. We talk about every thing that is going on and how to go about fixing what ever is wrong. There is no your job my job going on around here it takes the two of us to keep everything going in the right way. I know my Lady knows more becouse she is older and a vet also. How ever we together have over 60 years in running a ranch and making it work. As far as just one of us running the house that falls into the hands of the house keeper we don't have the time to but into the house and still be in the saddle taking care of the ranch. As for the rest of the world it is hard to say who is doing a better job. I am sure there are those on both side of the sexs that lined there pockets when all the shit was going down.

13 Mar 2010

Quote by roccotool
When someone is the sole provider the other person in the relationship has to respect that person more.

IMHO:

I couldn't disagree with that more. That's not how it is in a loving relationship. It's not a power struggle. It's about unconditional love. No one has to prove anything to anybody. Each partner accepts the other as they are, and there are no power trips.

I agree, are you in this relationship to get a ego boost or to have someone to share your life with?

If you think about it, being the provider has been the male instinct since our specie started. Now because he lost his job you feel the need to rub it in his face by demanding more respect? It seems a tad bit mean to me, you should be there for him, supporting him to find a new job. If he hasn't given you the respect you wanted before you were the sole provider then there was a problem with that part of your relationship.

But the each his own, if you and your husband can work this way, I hope it works out well.

13 Mar 2010

gypsy,
You have exerted a good amount of energy on this topic, and have made a good attempt at looking at things from my point of view. While I respect your input I would have to just point out that everyone is going to have their own point of view and opinion of things in life. I can only speak from my experiences, and what I have researched and witnessed.
IMO - Any relationship that you come across no matter who is in control and what type of relationship you have they all rely on a give and take foundation and we all have challenges that we have to meet. But, overcoming the challenges and having those 'make up' moments are what makes things count.

13 Mar 2010

Quote by Krista
gypsy,
You have exerted a good amount of energy on this topic, and have made a good attempt at looking at things from my point of view. While I respect your input I would have to just point out that everyone is going to have their own point of view and opinion of things in life. I can only speak from my experiences, and what I have researched and witnessed.
IMO - Any relationship that you come across no matter who is in control and what type of relationship you have they all rely on a give and take foundation and we all have challenges that we have to meet. But, overcoming the challenges and having those 'make up' moments are what makes things count.

Krista, I have not made an attempt at looking at things from your point of view, I have replied based on a great deal of personal experience, none of which you know anything about. Yes, everyone has his or her own opinion in life, but you were making broad general statements that were reductive and to be honest, my feeling is that you are just not old enough to have a lot of experience. Of course I could be mistaken, but somehow, I don't think I am.

Of course we all have challenges in life, relationships, etc, but please. I have had a great deal of experience in my life with control and the various degrees to which it can either work or be nasty and abusive, right from the word 'go'. I have also dealt with, listened to and counselled people who do indeed live the D/s life-style. So I am not really sure what lesson you think I need to learn, when you say that overcoming challenges and having those 'make up' moments are what makes things count.

13 Mar 2010

wow ... this thread is definitely odd.

Is this really what some people think?? That if you are the breadwinner, you are the Commandor??
Maybe some people need to put others in categories such as dom/sub/etc for their micromanagement to work in their relationship.

thank fucking god I tossed two micromanagers that I had married .... no way will I go down that route.

But now, more than likely, Krista will think I am a "Bitch Woman" wanting my way ...

Van

13 Mar 2010

Quote by roccotool
When someone is the sole provider the other person in the relationship has to respect that person more.

IMHO:

I couldn't disagree with that more. That's not how it is in a loving relationship. It's not a power struggle. It's about unconditional love. No one has to prove anything to anybody. Each partner accepts the other as they are, and there are no power trips.

Exactly!

13 Mar 2010

In my relationship with my wife, we've been together for 19 years now, we've shared a 50/50 relationship and it works fine for us. Mutual respect, it has nothing to do with the sex of the person or their income. My wife made more than me once and I thought, GREAT! Its more money in the bank! We decide things together, sometimes one or the other of us feels more decisive one day and they make the decisions, and vice versa. Neither of us have defined roles, though more now than ever. She has decided to stay at home and take care of house and home with me working ... that's totally her decision and not mine. She cooks about 95% of the time, but that's because she's much better at it than me. We both do the dishes later, we both do the laundry. I take care of the outside stuff and general maintenance, but that's because I'm better at that, not because of sex.

I know there are others out there that enjoy Dom/Sub, and to each their own. Just not my cup of tea.

14 Mar 2010

Quote by gypsymoth
Quote by Krista
gypsy,
You have exerted a good amount of energy on this topic, and have made a good attempt at looking at things from my point of view. While I respect your input I would have to just point out that everyone is going to have their own point of view and opinion of things in life. I can only speak from my experiences, and what I have researched and witnessed.
IMO - Any relationship that you come across no matter who is in control and what type of relationship you have they all rely on a give and take foundation and we all have challenges that we have to meet. But, overcoming the challenges and having those 'make up' moments are what makes things count.

Krista, I have not made an attempt at looking at things from your point of view, I have replied based on a great deal of personal experience, none of which you know anything about. Yes, everyone has his or her own opinion in life, but you were making broad general statements that were reductive and to be honest, my feeling is that you are just not old enough to have a lot of experience. Of course I could be mistaken, but somehow, I don't think I am.

Of course we all have challenges in life, relationships, etc, but please. I have had a great deal of experience in my life with control and the various degrees to which it can either work or be nasty and abusive, right from the word 'go'. I have also dealt with, listened to and counselled people who do indeed live the D/s life-style. So I am not really sure what lesson you think I need to learn, when you say that overcoming challenges and having those 'make up' moments are what makes things count.

No need to be so emotional over this topic. You are right I do not know about your personal experience and I am not trying to put words in your mouth. As per my age, yes I would have to say that I am young, and truth is I have not been though a lot of relationships because I tend to make things work out with one partner because that is what satisfies me. Great job that you have been a relationship counselor, I am not by any means I was just being open on my view points. And the point I was trying to put out there was just that every couple comes across problems in their relationships or there are times when disagreements occur but working through those together are always rewarding and you can later reflect upon and learn from them.

14 Mar 2010

And the point I was trying to put out there was just that every couple comes across problems in their relationships or there are times when disagreements occur but working through those together are always rewarding and you can later reflect upon and learn from them.

That is not what the point is you were trying to "put out there". You were trying to get people interested in FEMALELED relationships with the person you spoke of in the beginning. That's why I asked you if you were spamming the site for your friend. That has nothing to do with what you just said.

14 Mar 2010

this is truly odd.

Thanks Kath!

14 Mar 2010

uhm...

Welcome to the Forums Krista!

14 Mar 2010

Mindblowing thread, would read again.

Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.

14 Mar 2010

What a strange topic.

14 Mar 2010

Quote by Krista

So imagine a female running the household. Alot of people dont think about it but many relationships are now turning that way. The husband gets laid off the wife is now the one who is paying most of the bills so she now has the chain of command. When someone is the sole provider the other person in the relationship has to respect that person more.

I might be opening myself for a lot of stick, but don't aren't most houserholds already run by a female, wife, mother, partner. As others have alraedy said this is usually in partnership in a normal loving relationship.
I did take a look at the web site mentioned in the initial thread and to me it just looks like any other site run by a female Dom trying to justify the lifestyle and half of what Krista is going on about later does not match with the site. So I think Chef was right from the start and this is all just cheap promotion for the site.iLz2CYIzqPzQUIVw

15 Mar 2010

Welcome to the site Krista, interesting thought provoking thread.

15 Mar 2010

Quote by BBB856
So I think Chef was right from the start and this is all just cheap promotion for the site.0pgPs6mnoE7SBPWi

40 lashes while you lick my boots clean - and you will like it!

The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.

15 Mar 2010

Except that the woman in the accompanying pic isn't wearing boots wmm. evil4

Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.

15 Mar 2010

Quote by thepainter
Except that the woman in the accompanying pic isn't wearing boots wmm.

I so fail at femdom geek

The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.