I haven't dated much but men like the ones in the article are a HUGE turn off and the main reason I don't date. They all seem so nice and loving and affectionate, they are "perfect" then the tables turn and they are the biggest jackasses in the room. And to top it off they make it out to be the woman's fault. (Obviously any relationship is a 2 person thing and so both parties are accountable for thier actions and reactions). At least with the "bad boy" you know exactly what you are getting. And when he dumps you or cheats on you, even though it hurts you kinda expected it from the start cause hey hes a "bad boy". What happened to being a real man? Are there any left? Because to be honest most of the men I have met here (I have not met many so please don not take this as a bash against all the men here) fall into the "nice guy" article.
Angel
If I was a woman, I doubt that I would want the kind of man described in the article, but as a man, I don't want a woman with many of those traits either. I want an equal partner. It would be very easy for me to make decisions based on whatever I think is right, but if I'm then held accountable when they don't please her, then getting agreement first or offering the choice to her when I don't care either way shouldn't be considered weak, it should be considered what it is, considerate. And holding a woman to the same standards I hold myself to shouldn't be considered unfair in the case when I don't have an unfair advantage. So I'll walk away from women who hold double standards. They're just not worth the aggravation.
Oh please,the kind of man described in the article is not a ''Nice Guy'' just some insecure & needy guy who only think of himself as nice guy, and beside No one person have all those faults, this is nothing more then another deflections women use to avoid taking accountability for their own choices and actions >_< not to mention using example from a site name ''Heartless Bitches'' a man bashing site
Why do we insist on labeling everyone? What about those of us who don't fit into any category because we are just happy being ourselves instead of playing a role for someone else?
I've found clear evidence that you don't have to be a so-called nice guy to be the type of person the article describes. I can see how being that way can turn someone into a dick.
I'm a little confused here. Surely the term nice guy is applied to someone who is appealing - has strength of character, consideration for others, is friendly but not gushing etc . This is as apposed to a selfish, unfaithful, aggressive and inconsiderate boor? Or is is just a matter of definition? The latter to some may be a nice guy. Most of the comments here seem to think nice guy is used to describe some sort of weak sycophantic mummy's boy. In the past when I've used the expression about other men it means I consider the guy to be likeable, trustworthy and honourable???
I've been to hell and back on this very topic for a good portion of my life. I've been the clingy doormat and I've been the miserable jerk. I've gone to great lengths to SAVE a woman and it turned out that I didn't really like her or myself. I almost feel doomed except for the fact that I do treat women and myself with respect. I've learned how to communicate and how to just listen. I see things about myself and others that I never really would have taken notice of 15 yrs ago...Hell in some cases last week......
It boils down (to me) that what is important is that if you don't care, don't go there, if you place up above she'll fly like a dove. If you're loving and kind it can be so divine......
Learn about the people you associate with. This doesn't even have to be about sex at all.......It can be business a neighbor a relative or even one of your own kids. Be the type of person you can be proud of and you'll see how many will be proud of you.
I don't really see how being "nice" is the same as being "insecure" or a "loser." Does that mean that all insecure women are losers too? A man or a woman can be nice and still have abundant confidence. True kindness comes out of strength, and what you describe in that rather shallow article you posted is merely manipulation based on a lack of ablility to win attention and affection in another way. Kindness, being "nice," and servility don't go hand in hand. There are emotionally needy people and people who try to be pleasing to win affection, and maybe that's not admirable, but it doesn't mean that someone who shows kindness is weak or fawning due to lacking a sense of self-worth. I really do think you're comparing apples and oranges and saying they are the same.
I love this thread - the delicious irony of people getting uppity because they're "nice" and not in the least bit insecure.
You are being ironic, right?
Warning: The opinions above are those of an anonymous individual on the internet. They are opinions, unless they're facts. They may be ill-informed, out of touch with reality or just plain stupid. They may contain traces of irony. If reading these opinions causes you to be become outraged or you start displaying the symptoms of outrage, stop reading them immediately. If symptoms persist, consult a psychiatrist.
Why not read some stories instead
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So, I read the article and find it funny how that someone can think that ONE person can be all these things. Unless they have a split personality I’m thinking not. Neither man nor no women is perfect.
I’m so sick of seeing how men are such pricks and that all they do is cares for themselves. Yes, some men are like this but that doesn't make all men this way. Some men have grown up or been taught away or have a defense around them to make them the way they are. Is it the right way to go about life? I’m guessing not because it seems like a crap life to me. At least some men know what they want and will either avoid women and just live their lives the way they want, or some will use women like dirty whores because that is all they see them as. But, not all men are like either of this. Some are content in trying to find someone who makes them happy. Even if they grew up twisted, or been taught wrong, or had a bad hand in life with women before. They keep trying because they have hope.
As for women.. Women are cold heart selfish bitches who expect men to bow down to them and do as they please because this isn't the old days where men are on top. But you know what? That doesn't mean we need to completely flip it around and make men the bottoms. Women shouldn't have to bottom anymore this is the year 2012 for the love of all that is sane! But that doesn't mean oh well if women don’t need to bottom, Men must. No! How about some equal damn rights!!!! That’s all women wanted in the first place and then got on a power trip and took it to damn far. Again, I say this not all women are this way but enough. Women have been raised, gone through the same hurt, or been twisted up just as much the next person including men. That doesn't mean you need to go on some power trip and act like a crazed loony.
Why can’t men and women be the same? Stand side by side. Viewed as the same. We are all after all, human. Aren't we? No gender is higher than another, No race, no age, nothing. We’re all the same. We as people need to become aware of this and take it into action and start treating everyone the same. Get with the program people. And Stop harping on people because they don’t feel the SAME as you. They have the right to their own option even if you don’t agree with them. Which is why I’m not calling any “one” person out, or using names. It just needed to be said.
