My boyfriend/roommate has now stated that he wants to be on a 'break'.
What the hell does that mean exactly???
Ling
It means he wants to break up "for a while", which means keep you on the sidelines for when he's ready again. It's unfair for you and disrespectful, IMHO.
Think of something incredibly kinky/erotic to do that you have never done with him, then go to him and ask him if its okay if you do this with one of the sexy blokes you've got lined up while on your 'break'.
how can you tell if your trully loved
It means he wants to date/fuck other girls, but IF he can't find anything better, he wants to know that you'll still be there waiting for him.
Please don't believe the whole "I'm just so confused. But I do realize how much you mean to me. I just need time...blah blah blah".
He is just wasting your time.
This is the typical pattern of men who cannot be alone, and always need to be in a relationship. Think back, does he always seem to jump from girlfriend to girlfriend? He may be using this "separation time" to establish a new relationship with someone else. But he doesn't have the balls to cut things off with you first.
Or it could mean that he just doesn't know how to break up with you, and is laying the groundwork in stages.
Either way, if you really love this guy and/or want to shake things up, take back the control and dump him. He won't be expecting it, and it will give you the answers you need a whole lot faster. If he truly loves you, he will chase you if you walk away. And if he doesn't, then you'll be able to move on instead of wasting time in "take a break limbo".
Being a man, I have to agree with all of the women. This guy just wants permission to go out and fuck other women. You can, of course just say "ok" and leave it at that...
OR! You can say "OK!" and as soon as he leaves for work or to go out... pack his shit up, put it all outside, and
change the locks on the doors. Just make a sign for all to see:
"And good riddance! Don't bother knocking or calling, I'm busy getting laid!"
Just remember, guys that "take a break" will always, always, always.... come back begging that "you're the one and only for me."
Just like everyone says he wants to fuck other girls. He's being sleazy, using it as an escuse and counting on you to just take it. He's a sleaze and he doesn't really care about you. Something tells me you know this already. So here's what I say, leave him. He doesn't care about you, go find someone that will repect you and won't treat you this way.
I appreciate everyone's input, truly!
It is the same man I have been with for a year and a half... and what everyone said is absolutely true. I found that he was already on dating websites, chat lines and was communicating with one girl in particular. I devised a plot and carried it out...
I had a friend from work, who is already in a relationship himself, ask me out and then come to the house and pick me up. I took my children to a babysitter's house and he and I (along with his gf and others from work) went out to have a few drinks. I stayed out until about 3 am and when I came home, my bf was livid and spoiling for a fight.
Little did he know that I was too!
We had it out and I told him that if he thought I was just going to sit around and wait for him to decide where our relationship was going to go without doing anything then he was dumber than a pile of dogshit. I also told him that I had been propositioned while out and had carried out a tremendously satisfying foursome in a van in the parking lot. When he began his jealous tirade, I simply looked him in the eye and in my sweetest voice stated, "I just wanted to take advantage of the opportunity YOU gave me to take a break and figure out if you're REALLY the one I'm meant to be with."
His face turned twelve different colors when he realized he couldn't accuse me of cheating without sounding like an ignorant prick! So he sputtered something about me being a slut and went into the bedroom.
The next evening he came to me and told me he decided that he wanted to give it another try. He told me that he had been chatting with some girl (which I already knew) and that he wouldn't talk to her anymore, that he deleted her from his messenger list and that he took her out of his email contacts. He also said that he wasn't going to be calling the chat lines and he already deleted his profile from the dating website.
I told him I would think about it... AFTER my date next weekend.
I'll let you know how it turns out!
Ling
Oh my god that was awesome(crying with laughter)
You deserve a medal in bad assness haha!
Insert typical super smart ass comment courtesy of thepainter here.
Good going Ling-Li. Sometimes moving on is the right thing, life is too short for living in a river of bullshit.
'Taking a break' means its over. Sayanara, Adios, 'the fat lady has sung'!!!