My husband and I have had a conversation recently about open our relationship to other people. Meaning that it would be okay for us to sleep with other people. I just don't know how I truly feel about it. We had our son right out of high school and have never been with anyone other than each other. He wants to have more experiences and in all honesty I do as well. I wonder what it would feel like to have sex with another man or even have sex with a woman. I love my husband and am afraid that I may loose him if we actually agree to this. What is your opinion on open relationships? Can they work?
We have an open one but only in threesomes or foursomes we only play together its good fun you guys should think about this type of an open marriage that way you get to play with someone new but you do it together
if you both agree & promise to stop if either 1 of you wish it
why not
normally i dont go for this..
but in your case as you both are each other's firsts..it might spice it up a bit
When you have only had one sex partner experience, it can be a real tightrope to "swing out" a bit because the emotions run away with the passions and you can find yourself suddenly in a crush, infatuation, or "in love" with someone you did not expect to. That "shock of the new" -- as artists/cultural pundits call it -- can overwhelm your sense and sensibility. On the other hand, if you remain "aloof" and detached, you lose the good feeling of connecteness for the sexy bits. Might I suggest you use the "vicarious method"? Go out together (esp. if you can get a babysitter) and oogle other people that appeal, then go home and screw each other's brains out. Try that for awhile and see where it takes you before jumping the shark, so to speak.
well i do agree if both are fine with that and want to get off the track to try the amusement then why not?
If you simply throw 'open' the marriage, with each of you on your own, it will be a seperating situation. However, if you try out some off-premise swingers clubs, or attend some swinger and/or Lifestyle parties, together you two can find other couples to have fun with; so it is something you enjoy as a couple. If you can find a Lifestyle resort nearby, go for a few weekends, you'll be pleasantly surprised. BDSM clubs are also a good place to meet interesting people as are the Swinger/Lifestyle conventions. If you have the time and money, Club Hedonism in Jamaiica is awesome.
Don't get open relationships no point to them . Just be single and date . Simple !
To add an update: I would just like to let everyone know that we have decided not to open the relationship. We found that we both felt a little "weird" about the idea of being with someone else. I'm sure that even if the opportunity arose that I could actually sleep with someone else. Its just one of those things where we are comfortable and happy with what we have that we aren't willing to risk the consequences of our actions.
It's a good choice that you're both happier with. I think that's delightful. Congrats!
Listen to your mind and to your heart and be careful listening to both
My advice is to tread carefully.
I've seen open relationships that lasted for thirty years after having been closed for ten, and still going strong. I've also seen ten year marriages collapse shortly after opening them, but in those cases, I don't think it was because the relationship was opened, but rather because it was done incorrectly.
In one case, it was an ultimatum from one partner to the other. They probably should have just broken up long before that anyway.
In another, they had agreed on a set of rules for when, who, how and what. It worked for them for six months or so, and then it all went haywire when they both (and they both said the other one did first) stopped obeying those rules. Started to treat them like guidelines.
The moral is that rules aren't guidelines, and you have to decide which of those things you want. The more flexibility in your arrangement, the more intimate and detailed your communication has to be on the subject. Regardless, communication is key in this scenario above all others I've ever encountered.
Me and my girlfriend have an open relationship. The only rule is that we have to descibe to each other what's happened and that it is only physical. She gets very turned on thinking about me with another girl and vice versa. As long as its only phyisical i don't see why not
It can be initially exciting, but jealousy will show itself eventually, with one or both of you. Maybe your relationship is an exception, but having multiple partners often breaks some of your bonds. You have to weigh the value of your current relationship very carefully.
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