need some advice on a messed up situation

8 Feb 2012

Well I've been looking around on here for awhile, and now feel compelled to share my stupidity and ask for some advice as well.

I was in a 3 year relationship until very recently, which i was stuck in. Long story short on that...her family personally financed the purchase of land and construction of a shop for me to start a business in. Basically my dream shop. In return they put liens on my truck, house, and a piece of property that I had back home where I grew up. At the time of this "business decision" I didnt see an issue with it because there were plans in the works to marry their daughter. As the building progressed, our relationship started going down hill and I was forced to stay with her because of threats to have her family take everything I have..and me not knowing much about the laws concerning it all...i basically did what she wanted.

In the middle of all this mess, I met an amazing woman that has a son. We started out as just friends..someone to talk to late at night and vent about the days frustrations...and it ended up with us being together undercover. I'm madly in love with this woman, and her son...and we had planned on spending the rest of our lives together because I really felt that she is the one. She was always supportive and said that no matter how long we had to wait to truely be together that she would.

Then one day out of the blue she said that she couldn't do it anymore and that I needed to just walk away from everything and we would figure it out from there. So I made the arrangements to forfeit all of my property, bought another vehicle....and signed it all over. I called her right after to tell her that it was done and that we could start our life together finally, and she said that it was too late. She shouldn't have had to tell me to do it, that she just wants to move on and sorry it didnt work out.

I can't get her to talk to me, she won't let me see her or her son...and im completely devastated. I'm pretty sure I've lost her and her son for forever...is there anything I can do?

8 Feb 2012

Honestly, not much. Maybe be glad it happened now, before you and she were together and had another child(ren).
Sometimes, you just have to suck it up, and move on. However, I'm not a counselor - my first and strongest suggestion is to see a therapist. They are trained to assist with problems....

8 Feb 2012

yeah sounds messy....ok on law it depends from which country you are from because every country's law differs...

on relationships...well dont think a therepist will help, if she doesnt wanna talk to you, i dont think she will tell a therapist..the big picture is this, or how i see it:

1st step get a lawyer, even if you cant afford a lawyer there should be someone who does probon work and will listen. is there contracts signed before and after?? first sort out your finincial story.

2nd step, try to comunicate with this woman, but dont force it. maybe she feels guilty for what you had done or maybe she didnt tell you the truth and she met someone? anything is a possibility. i would suggest to seek legal council first, and give it time before tryong to win this woman back, if indeed she does wanna come back...

9 Feb 2012

As far as all the property goes, it was all forfeited to them on Monday. I've contacted a lawyer and given copies of the contracts to him..and he is going to get back to me on if there is anything I can do about that.

I'm not much concerned with any of the property, as I am about the girl. I have tried everything I can think of to try and talk to her but she doesn't want to. Says I should just respect that she doesn't want to talk about the situation and that I need to just move on. I'm pretty sure shes moving on, my issue is that I want more than anything in the world to be with her and her son and its killing me not to be able to or to even have contact with them.