Have you ever been so alone, you wake up everyday and wish you hadn't?
Looked at your phone and saw nothing but a bill to pay at the end of each month even though you don't call or get called by anyone?
Ever feel like screaming at the top of your lungs, but as soon as you open your mouth, your voice disappears?
Ever felt like talking to someone, but hiding the truth because you fear that the person you trust may not even give a flying fuck?
How bout sitting amongst a group of people and never fitting in?
Or going to work fully knowing that you're not going to amount to anything?
Ever feel like crying, but the tears don't flow?
How bout reading a book, but stop because you can't relate to any of the characters for the simple reason being that you don't have 'friends' anymore?
Have you ever looked into someone's eyes and saw the words "I wish you were dead right now"?
Was that person in fact your parents?
Have you ever stopped talking to what little true friends you have because you don't want to burden them with your own problems?
Or resisted talking to someone in fear of becoming too close, and that maybe one day that person won't be there anymore?
Have you ever been so alone, that in a world full of over 7 billion people, you know for a fact that no one will ever understand what the fuck is going on in your head?
Have you ever been so alone that you ended up talking to your walls?
And then got depressed cause you wish they would reply, but sadly know that if they could, they wouldn't because you annoy the fuck out of yourself?
Have you ever been so alone that you just wish someone, somewhere would kill you?
It doesn't matter who will or won't miss you, you just don't want to breathe anymore?
........................
Only when I was living so far in 'effect' that I lost who I was. 'Effect' is when I let the world control me. It's when I feel sorry for myself and wait for someone else to give me purpose. It's when the hurt inside overwhelms and like quicksand, I sink deeper and deeper.
It is only when I decided to live in 'cause' that I can escape. It's when I set goals for my life. It's when I realize life is a journey and an adventure. It's realizing that every obstacle is there to make me stronger and better. It's when I realize that I am good enough and it doesn't matter what others think. It's when I take the opportunities that have been sitting right in front of my face all along.
Please consider that isolation is a frame of mind that you have control over.
I hope you find happiness.
Good thinking, I have a cause now, and obstacles can be planned away. Good Idea, dont let them control you...
that kind of desolation needs to be addressed...
that level of unhappiness needs to find an outlet
get help
when you post these sort of topics in a public forum to me you are crying out..so loud
that anyone that does not suggest you talk to someone is clearly in pain themselves
been there...got help..got back up and the relief is so amazing
you wonder why youn waited
and if you are seeing someone who isnt helping you switch now therapist are a dime a doz
try psychologytoday online to find one..you can actually e-mail them first to feel them out and see if your ins cover it
honey living with pain is horrible...
tried to kill myself once..trust me..
as someone lifted ME out of the pit they can do the same for you
You must remember that people do love you. My mother died in November of a car accident. She was taken from me. Everyday of her life she struggled to make ends meet and provide the best life she could for her children. Don't ever wish for someone to take you from this earth. It is heartbreaking to so many people.
~ "She left the web, she left the loom,
She made three paces through the room,
She saw the water-lily bloom,
She saw the helmet and the plume,
She look'd down to Camelot.
Out flew the web and floated wide;
The mirror crack'd from side to side;
"The curse is come upon me," cried
The Lady of Shalott. " Really, just yesterday I got banned from my sons graduation from high school by his mother and my mother. This is due to a letter my second wife sent to my first about my religion. and as far as they are concerned, Im disowned. Not the godfather to my nephews, cant talk to my sons, etc. you really see a happy ending?
I feel your pain lifeafterdeath
Lifeafterdeath - You have to realize in this life we all have struggles that we deal with. You are never alone. I'm not trying to preach to you but there is a higher power that you can turn to. Keep your faith and never waiver from that. You were put on this earth for a reason no matter what anyone says to you. You have to live with yourself and that alone is cause for celebration. Waking up to a new day and what life has to offer. Keep your head up, things do get better, I promise.
Forgot tosay thanks for the input LAD
I don't like to be alone never it is depressing. That is not to say I don't like my private time to get on the computer and talk to friends that aren't in my house. If the house is empty I feel bad and sad unless I can get on line and talk to friends.
Ill go killin tonight, black ops 2, good way to work out stress
You're 19, you say that you work 2 jobs. Go out and do stuff on your free time. Smoke some weed find some things to occupy your time and maybe you'll meet some people along the way.. Be a 19 year old and don't worry so much, plenty of adventures to embark on. Do away with your overly sensitive feelings and self pity. If no one likes you then fuck em and go like yourself. Again, just shut the fuck up and go be a kid because that's what you 
