We've been together for almost 3 years now. Started out hot and heavy, sex at least once a day. Now it's just about once every 2 months and NOTHING in between. I can't help think he's not attracted to me anymore, or maybe he's getting it else where. Sex is very important to me, some people smoke or drink, I like to cum. I really just need some advise or input. Thanks :/
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Is my boyfriend not attracted to me anymore?
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Active Ink Slinger
Relationships run on communication. Have you communicated your needs to him? What is his response? If you haven't asked, you should. The answer will tell you what direction to go.
Alpha Blonde
Since i don't know what you really look like (or what he looks like), physical attraction could be part of the problem. More so if you've made any major changes from when you first started dating or are no longer trying. Like if mini-skirts and push-up bras were what you wore when you first met, and now the no make-up/sweatpants look is the new staple or if you've had any major weight gains over the past couple of years. Yes, these things are superficial, but let's face it... some guys are superficial!
Are you doing things to try to initiate sex or entice him? If you're making efforts and he's rejecting you, then yes... I would be strongly concerned that he's getting it elsewhere.
I've heard the whole "he's stressed out" thing before and I don't buy it. Either there's a medical reason for his low sex-drive, he's bored/complacent because you've been in a relationship for a few years now, or he's already playing somewhere else.
I would actively start trying to initiate sex, and if he rebuffs you, then you need to talk about what is going on. As Shibui already said... communication is key. It's better to know now than to waste more years with the wrong guy.
Sorry if my post sounds a bit harsh, but there's no reason in sugar-coating things and advocating that you ignore red flags and stay in a relationship that isn't satisfying you or making you happy. I wish some of my friends had taken this approach during the last year I spent with my ex-bf rather than reassuring me and convincing me to overlook things.
The bottom line in this case is: Not wanting to have sex is a major red flag.
Are you doing things to try to initiate sex or entice him? If you're making efforts and he's rejecting you, then yes... I would be strongly concerned that he's getting it elsewhere.
I've heard the whole "he's stressed out" thing before and I don't buy it. Either there's a medical reason for his low sex-drive, he's bored/complacent because you've been in a relationship for a few years now, or he's already playing somewhere else.
I would actively start trying to initiate sex, and if he rebuffs you, then you need to talk about what is going on. As Shibui already said... communication is key. It's better to know now than to waste more years with the wrong guy.
Sorry if my post sounds a bit harsh, but there's no reason in sugar-coating things and advocating that you ignore red flags and stay in a relationship that isn't satisfying you or making you happy. I wish some of my friends had taken this approach during the last year I spent with my ex-bf rather than reassuring me and convincing me to overlook things.
The bottom line in this case is: Not wanting to have sex is a major red flag.
Active Ink Slinger
Dancing_Doll: awesome post! Well written, everyone should reference it. Thanks, Fred
Clumeleon
Listen to Dancing_Doll, she's a genius! However, I don't believe that guys are, in general, any more superficial than girls.
Sometimes, guys do have low sex drives, but once every 2 months is certainly cause for concern. It sounds to me as if the relationship has fizzled and you should definitely talk to him about it.
If you're waiting around for him to initiate sex when you really want it, then just jump his bones now and again, it might reignite the spark. If he is actively rejecting your advances then either he has lost interest in you and/or the relationship or there is something mentally or physically wrong with him; try to find out which. If it is the former, you can try to remedy the situation and get to the root of your problems, or just dump his ass (you're still young, after all, and there are plenty of cocks in the sea). If it is the latter, you can encourage him to seek appropriate help (probably a doctor) and support him through it; hopefully things will then get better for you two.
I am going to be so bold as to suggest that one problem in your relationship is that, instead of speaking to him about your issues, you are asking strangers on an erotic story website. Don't get me wrong, we're all happy to give our two cents, but there have been a lot of people on these forums recently looking for advice when they should have been looking a little closer to home in the first instance.
Sometimes, guys do have low sex drives, but once every 2 months is certainly cause for concern. It sounds to me as if the relationship has fizzled and you should definitely talk to him about it.
If you're waiting around for him to initiate sex when you really want it, then just jump his bones now and again, it might reignite the spark. If he is actively rejecting your advances then either he has lost interest in you and/or the relationship or there is something mentally or physically wrong with him; try to find out which. If it is the former, you can try to remedy the situation and get to the root of your problems, or just dump his ass (you're still young, after all, and there are plenty of cocks in the sea). If it is the latter, you can encourage him to seek appropriate help (probably a doctor) and support him through it; hopefully things will then get better for you two.
I am going to be so bold as to suggest that one problem in your relationship is that, instead of speaking to him about your issues, you are asking strangers on an erotic story website. Don't get me wrong, we're all happy to give our two cents, but there have been a lot of people on these forums recently looking for advice when they should have been looking a little closer to home in the first instance.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by clum
I am going to be so bold as to suggest that one problem in your relationship is that, instead of speaking to him about your issues, you are asking strangers on an erotic story website.
This.
The internet is so not the first place to turn to for relationship advice. If I feel weird, sure, I'll google the symptoms. That's pretty straight-forward. But here, we're talking about not one, but two very complex sets of data. We're talking about what's going on between to human beings with each their motivations, and seemingly very little communication between them.
If you can't find the courage to talk to him directly, maybe you should discuss it with someone really close to you, instead of strangers on a message board. I had a friend (girl) who was having a rough time with her boyfriend, and she kept asking me for advice, because, let's face it, I'm awesome. My one advice was this: "Go discuss it with your sister. She's totally biased towards you. She wants nothing but your happiness." So, here, I give it to you too: go discuss it with someone close to you, a sister, mother, best friend. Someone completely biased towards you, who wants nothing but your happiness. Gather some confidence, and then confront the boyfriend and communicate.
You never really know unless you ask. And I don't if it's just me noticing it, but some girls tend to expect their boyfriends to guess what they want. Now, I'm pretty sure everyone has noticed, but men aren't very good at guessing a woman's mind. Help us. Tell us what's wrong.
Alpha Blonde
Quote by rudyP34
go discuss it with someone close to you, a sister, mother, best friend. Someone completely biased towards you, who wants nothing but your happiness. Gather some confidence, and then confront the boyfriend and communicate.
I had to add my
on this one:Proceed with caution when it comes to advice from close female friends and occasionally some family members as well. Female friends have a tendency to tell you what you want to hear once you have entered into a relationship with someone. This increases exponentially when those friends are also in solid relationships or married. Friends move in herds (like buffalo)... when everyone is hooked up, they strongly desire that you also remain hooked up, especially if they do a lot of couples activities.
They may gloss over your issues and reassure you and explain away his man-errors using excuses like "he's just stressed out from work," "he might be a commitment-phobe but he really does love you," "he's scared of love and how strongly he feels for you," and "oh no, that hot 20-yr old vixen you saw him having lunch with on the patio is probably just a summer student from his office."
Secondly, when you say to a female friend. "I'm not sure about Bob, I feel like Bob might be cheating on me," this friend is put on the spot. IF she chooses to agree with you, commiserate with you about what an asshole Bob is and tell you other horrible things she knows or suspects about him... AND then after this you still stay with Bob anyway and decide that the two of you love each other, your relationship with this friend will feel awkward going forward, knowing that she secretly detests your man and thinks you are nuts for staying with him. In fact, you may even come to resent her for it. Female friends know this pitfall, and therefore may be more hesitant about telling you what they really think.
And last... many close friends just want to see you happy. It's natural instinct to want to sooth someone's fears and make them feel more positive again. Friends don't want to contribute to your emotional meltdown or influence your decisions. Their job is often to "be there for you" when things fall apart, but when it comes to life-altering advice I wouldn't rely on others. Only you know what is going on in your relationship. Trust your gut instinct... it's never wrong.
Constant Gardener
Quote by leah_pinup
I really just need some advise or input. Thanks :/
Shave or wax your snatch barren, then get a really nice multi-color tattoo of his initials inked upon your vulva. Maybe with a little smilie face like this
for emphasis. The right artist can etch it so that the tongue looks like it is moving when viewed from different angles.If he doesn't get the message after that, just find another guy with the same initials, or tell future men some really farfetched fib about its origin.
Take pictures and post them here on your Lush profile.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Wild at Heart
This reminds me of that old saying, "Even the most beautiful woman in the world has at least one guy who is tired of her."
There is nothing you can do, I'm sorry. Guys like to fuck and if he isn't fucking you it means he is over it. If its an erectile disfunction problem then I'm sure he would still be trying to eat you out and get his dick sucked on n stuff... But if none of that is going on then he is tired of it most likely.
There is nothing you can do, I'm sorry. Guys like to fuck and if he isn't fucking you it means he is over it. If its an erectile disfunction problem then I'm sure he would still be trying to eat you out and get his dick sucked on n stuff... But if none of that is going on then he is tired of it most likely.
Quote by Magical_felix
This reminds me of that old saying, "Even the most beautiful woman in the world has at least one guy who is tired of her."
There is nothing you can do, I'm sorry. Guys like to fuck and if he isn't fucking you it means he is over it. If its an erectile disfunction problem then I'm sure he would still be trying to eat you out and get his dick sucked on n stuff... But if none of that is going on then he is tired of it most likely.
So true, Magical_felix!
and this part by Clum:
..... there have been a lot of people on these forums recently looking for advice when they should have been looking a little closer to home in the first instance.
Good luck!
Clumeleon
Can't stop laughing at WMM's post. There are literally tears in my eyes.
He should have his own TV show.
He should have his own TV show.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by leah_pinup
We've been together for almost 3 years now. Started out hot and heavy, sex at least once a day. Now it's just about once every 2 months and NOTHING in between. I can't help think he's not attracted to me anymore, or maybe he's getting it else where. Sex is very important to me, some people smoke or drink, I like to cum. I really just need some advise or input. Thanks :/
I hate to say it but it is possible to get bored of sex, if he is usually the top you might try switching the roll on him, or being more assertive. If nothing else just ask, the only reason a guy would lie about it is if they feared the outcome.
Constant Gardener
Quote by Buz
Maybe you should cuckold his ass...or maybe not.
You're starting to mature, Grasshopper.
Kudos!
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
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