Whoever said "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" knows nothing. The emotional pain of losing love is worse than anything in the world.
As many of you know, my fiance cheated on me. This was the worst pain I ever felt. But happily we reconciled and I thought we would stay together forever. THREE DAYS LATER she texts me to say that she doesn't want to be in a relationship. This hurt worse than the fact that she cheated. I love her with all my heart and now I'm losing her. The good news is: She said she wouldn't be with anyone else and we would remain best friends, with the possibility of getting back together. This was yesterday. I got used to this fact and became happy yet again.
But wait, there's more!!! This morning (yes, the day after she left me) she said she's going to be with the guy she cheated with me on. This hurts far worse than anything.
I thought we would be together forever and now this happens. I can hardly type right now. I need a shoulder to cry on. She was my first love. We even waited until we were engaged to have sex. (I gave her my virginity)
I need some cheering up before I slip into a never-ending spiral of sadness which I wont survive. Please help me get through this. Lush is like a second family to me.
oww hun, this is horrible.
I'm so sorry to hear this. what an absolute bitch, and this is proof that girls do this kind of stuff too. But if she's moved on and doesn't want to be with you there probably isn't much you can do about it except to accept it. It's really difficult, I know and I've been there myself but I promise you it will get better eventually. and i know it's a cliche and everyone says this at times like these but there ARE plenty of fish in the sea and you absolutely WILL find someone who will treat you right and love you forever. I did.
There is hope at the end of the tunnel. Let her get on with it, she's made her bed, she's not allowed to jerk you around like this.
Be strong babe xxxxxxxxxxx
I have seen this happen many times... with both with men and women, so you are not alone in that.
Mourn the situation, get some friends together and go out and blow off steam.
And... one word of advice. Sounds like she's wanting to keep you in the bull-pen "just in case" things don't work out with the new guy. A lot of people do this when they are jumping from one relationship straight into the other. At all costs, please try to avoid being that guy waiting around and hanging onto the little emotional hooks she will probably throw out to you over the next little while. Put on a strong front to her, and make her believe you are happy and moving on with your life, even if you are a puddling mess in your bedroom for months. A lot of times the person will try to keep you on an emotional string until they solidify a new relationship by throwing out little sentimental "I miss you's" and "gee, I hope I didn't make a mistake" emails or phone calls. Don't fall for this. You are better off without her. And more importantly, she is doing it for selfish reasons. If things don't work out with the new guy, she is afraid of being alone and just wants to know you are still an option. The things that led her to stray will still be there, however, and you don't want to end up the 'filler' in between her transgressions and getting hurt over and over again.
While it's difficult to move on from a first love, just take solace in the fact that most of us have gone through this kind of thing before, and even when things seem hopeless... things will always get better. We all get cheated on, dumped, and hurt at some point in life. And most of us are not with our 'first love'. There is more out there waiting for you... more adventures and more good times to be had. You will fall in love again. So think of this period as a time of mourning and sadness, but just know that it will get better...
Seriously, you are better off just cutting all contact. You're gonna be all fucked up for a while because she was your first everything. Maybe it'll take you a week, maybe a year to get over it. Trust me the more you have contact with her the longer you're going to hurt. If you did her wrong somehow she may enjoy being your 'best friend' just so you can see how much happier she is now... Fuck that. Also with out a doubt she's going to call you when her new man pisses her off. When she does this stop and think of her intentions. It's not because she wants to get back with you or realizes what she lost. She's doing it to spite the man that pissed her off. Realize that so you don't fall into thinking you can win her back. If she wants to be with you she would be. The fact that she is not should be a clear sign for you to move on.
Remember. Desperation doesn't smell good on anyone. You'll never get back in the game if your head is caught up with the one that got away. Focus your energy on yourself. Get new clothes, a new haircut and go to some new spots. Build your confidence and just jump back into the dating scene.
I agree with both what DD and Felix have said, I was in a marriage that lasted 10 years (with her for a total of 14 years) In order to keep my sanity I had to try to cut off all contact with her. We had two dogs, which I gave her custody of I loved the two of them dearly. She would often send pictures of them with funny captions, this felt like a dagger to my heart with every message. She also would ask why I deleted her off of facebook and ask if we could be friends and tell me she missed me. She also sent a few requests to meet up for coffee to talk about "old times".
This wore on me to the point where I had enough one day and asked her to never contact me again. She was stunned and asked if there was another woman in my life...My response - "FUCK OFF I am not married to you anymore and this is shit you don't need to know. DO NOT contact me again if you do one more time I will have my cell number changed"
She stopped with the messages, and over time I moved on. You can too, I know how much it hurts right now you will be ablemove on one day and meet an even more fantastic woman.
Keep your chin up and and believe in the phrase... Everything happens for a reason. I mean it.
Thank goodness you caught it before you married her or had children with her. It would be far worse than just emotional pain, trust me. I know it's really hard right now to see the "bright side" of things or to count blessings, but if you can, try to meditate on the positives. Sending good vibes your way bro.
That is a completely sucky situation. This would be the time you get your mates around, have a few drinks and blow off some steam.
My advice re: the cheating bitchy using skank who dumped you: Cut her out of your life. She used you, played you, kept you hanging on a little string. You've seen the person she can be and is that the kind of person you want to wait around for? I think not. Be thankful you saw the real her now, and not after the complications of marriage and a family.
Well this gets odder by the minute. Her aunt died and she inherited a few million dollars. Not bad for an 18-year-old huh? Why on earth did the slut inherit this much at this time? Ill never know.
Ist post you had me awwing
2nd post you still had me
3rd post I thought 'my, it didn't take you long to get over her!'
4th post I thought 'Ahhh, this is just a sympanthy pickup post'
5th and 6th I thought 'You just lost me and any nice thought I had about you'
@catnip PURRRFECT
I suppose this has become a rather strange post. The funny thing is though, It's all true.
eh, if I was 18 and inherited a coupla million bux, I'd dump your ass too. And you'd probably do that to her as well.
Get over yourself, dude. You have a whole 'nuther 30 years to make a fool of yourself, and others - yet.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
That's 2 minutes of my life I will never get back...... Poor to say the least
you guys were too young to be married, first loves are rarely meant to last, always meant to learn from... and you have learned that she's an asshole
ManofWar, I have read your posts and your profile and I am going to be blunt. You talk absolute shit. You are obvioulsy highly imature, a fantasist with extremly low self-esteem. I read your posts through my fingers, they are that cringe worthy.
May I suggest you actually find happiness from within yourself and then maybe others will find happiness from within you too.
If the truth hurts, don't ask for advice.
Talk about the desire to vent some anger, I have two ex-wives. Going absolutely postal could have been a real possibility but one must exert severe self control.
It means a lot. I have officially decided to remain single just like my awesome Uncle Mike. (he's rich and has all the latest technological goodies) and perfect my martial arts and piano skills. I am currently working on a giant piece consisting of some odd thirty pages (Grand Sonata Pathetique. look it up its awesome)
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