friend zone, am i stuck there?

1 Dec 2010

I met this girl back in highschool (allbeit this was only about 2 years ago). She was being tormented by her friends over her obsession of this real dirt bag of a guy. Well I came into the picture because I was the bleeding heart back then listening to her cry and swear and faun and laugh about all sorts of stuff reguarding this guy.

Well time went on and this is where my story turns sad. I fell for her right when she was starting to become one of my closest friends (that's the short version pm me if your intrested in the long one) so of course it became strictly off limits. Well I eventually became her go-to guy for all things sexual, sensual, family or academic. Ugh let me skip more babble here as well. its been 2 years now and on and off I keep returning to her. We're still extreamly close and I've started feeling for her again.
So because I'm also the kind of guy who can't actually have emotion to my friends (the hard ass,makes jokes at peoples expense kind of fella) I had a friend try to convince her to go out with me, she goes on this rampage about how were just friends and how my friend need to keep his nose out of our business yada, yada, yada. My question here is do I have any options??? Or am I stuck here in this terrible friend zone?

Any words of encouragement or advice or ANYTHING would be great lol thanks

P.S the horrible grammar is why I don't write stories on here and this is actually the first I've ever posted on here period. So I guess this also counts as my "hello lush" post XD

2 Dec 2010

I don't think there has been any man or woman that has not heard that phrase 'where just friends' I hate that line also, when ever I get that line said to me it makes me feel like a right doormat then I make myself crazy as to why are we just friends and why can't we be more, where so good together - why not. Arghhhhhh ha ha You will drive yourself crazy mate trying to reason with yourself.

I think the reason why people say where just friends is because they can still have you for all their needs but don't have to bother with any commitment of being an official couple.

I guess the thing you should do is stay away, make no contact, don't text, phone or e-mail. Then find a woman who does want you for a boyfriend etc not just a friend. Stop wasting your time after this girl and spend that time findiing someone who does. I bet there is some girl that has been wondering why does he waste his time with her, I'd treat him nicer than she does. I bet she's out their among your close friends, you just have to notice her!

2 Dec 2010

Well ive always thought, in some cases, it is possible to get out of the friends zone, but like honeybee said, for now, this girl has put you there permanently so you just need to deal with it, move on and find someone else. Who knows, she might come around eventually

2 Dec 2010

This isn't going to help you now.. But men should really let women know their intentions fairly early on. Acting like a friend to her to try to eventually get her in bed is sort of mean in a way. Like trying to eventually catch her off gaurd. (talking about women I know not every woman on the planet) women don't like that, they feel betrayed. Like they might think that you only enjoyed their friendship because you want into their pants. Try having real friendships with women, you'll learn a lot.

2 Dec 2010

Quote by Magical_felix
This isn't going to help you now.. But men should really let women know their intentions fairly early on. By acting like a friend to her to try to eventually get her in bed is sort of mean in a way. Like trying to eventually catch her off gaurd. (talking about women I know not every woman on the planet) women don't like that, they feel betrayed. Like they might think that you only enjoyed their friendship because you want into their pants. Try having real friendships with women, you'll learn a lot.

Couldn't agree with that more, Jack. Its another case of nice guys actually coming out not so nice because we feel duped when they switch gears like that. It's sneaky, even if they didn't always mean it that way.

2 Dec 2010

Quote by Magical_felix
This isn't going to help you now.. But men should really let women know their intentions fairly early on. Acting like a friend to her to try to eventually get her in bed is sort of mean in a way. Like trying to eventually catch her off gaurd. (talking about women I know not every woman on the planet) women don't like that, they feel betrayed. Like they might think that you only enjoyed their friendship because you want into their pants. Try having real friendships with women, you'll learn a lot.

I agree, i'd much rather a guy be upfront right from the start

2 Dec 2010

Yes, you are officially stuck in the friend zone. The fact that she freaked out when you were suggested as a potential romantic partner does not bode well for you. If her reaction was more like joking about it but saying it 'probably' wasn't a good idea to hook up with you, then maybe you'd have a 25% chance of turning things around. But if you said she went "on a rampage".... uhm... yeah, no. You're best to move on. When girls identify guys as that "shoulder" to cry on and talk endlessly to about guys they are dating and general relationship tragedies, she's basically putting on her "ugly relationship face" to you, which means that you are not a viable prospect and she no longer cares about hiding her neurosis and emotional baggage. She's also probably hoping that talking like this will solidify your position in her life, which is as her friend and occasional relationship counsellor. Forget her, and move on to someone else. And as the other posters have said, if you are attracted to a girl in the future, be sure to make your attraction/intentions known up front. Flirt a bit as you get to know her and see her response. It will keep you from being seen as "sexually neutral" (which leads to the friend zone), or it will sufficiently creep her out enough that she will keep you at arms length and help you avoid wasting a lot of time listening to her whining about other guys while secretly hoping she will fall for you one day. You want to put your efforts into something that has a chance of working out, OR just enjoying being "friends" for what it is. icon_smile

2 Dec 2010

Quote by Magical_felix
This isn't going to help you now.. But men should really let women know their intentions fairly early on. Acting like a friend to her to try to eventually get her in bed is sort of mean in a way. Like trying to eventually catch her off gaurd. (talking about women I know not every woman on the planet) women don't like that, they feel betrayed. Like they might think that you only enjoyed their friendship because you want into their pants. Try having real friendships with women, you'll learn a lot.

Ill give you that. However honestly it diddnt start as a "hey ill be Your friend then turn on you." Like I said. She came to me when she needed a stranger to talk too. It was being her friend that caused me develop such feelings. Granted in the future I will definitly be sure to make intentions clear before I end up in this situation. Its a personal opinion that people who feign friendship for a little nookie (lol) don't belong in the nice guy catigory.

Ladyx in my opinion at least. Its not always guys being sneaky. Its about not knowing how to engage in any other sort of dialogue (myself as a sad example) and like I said I had no intentions of falling for her.

Honeybee, ironically I just recently gave the same adcive to a friend of mine for being in a similar situation. I think yours is just the thing I need to do. I appericate it

Dancing yeah I like the way you put that lol.

Thanks everyone

26 Feb 2011

I was there once, but i got out of the friendship because she got a boyfriend and wanted to talk about him all the time. But just a week before i came out any told her my feelings she lied to me and told me she didnt want a relationship right now. It felt like she was cheating on me but we were not in a relationship. So advice to you is get out before in ruines you

26 Feb 2011

Well...lets face it....anything's possible....but.....in this case it doesn't sound likely.

The important thing to remember is that us girls love to be cared for by men...especially by our partners - it's an attractive aspect of a man's personality, so maybe, just maybe, in time she'll see you as more than just a shoulder to cry on. But what you have to remember is you put yourself there, for a long time, so you may be on the 'he's like my brother!!!' cards now...furthermore sometimes, no matters how much you like someone, it's better to just remain friends with them. You both have a lot to gain from a good, solid friendship.

26 Feb 2011

Embrace the FZ my lushie frenz.

Feed at the horse trough of Friend City. Think of all the poontang you can associate with (their friends!) Geeze, you talk like it's the end of civilization just because some girl you have the hots for, thinks you're not worthy of a lay.

Get reelz. Contrary to what you want to believe...you don't do it for every girl who does it for you. That's normal, man.

But don't just stand around that horse trough and expect some filly to waltz up to you and fuck your brains out. That's not how that happens (usually) angry9

Pull your tail out from underneath your legs, straighten up...throw your chest out a bit...and grow a fucking pair. No other woman is going to find you sniveling around as attractive.

Unless of course, you're into latex-wearing, ball smashing, Dominatrixes. Then, if so...Brother, you have come to the right place. Lemme know, I can hook you up here at Lush.

The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.

26 Feb 2011

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories

26 Feb 2011

Best advice in the friend zone is to move along buddy, nothing more to see here. Friends is fine but don't keep beating your heart against someone who isn't interested in you as a potential romantic parter, if your goal is to find a romantic partner. Can you be friends? Sure, nothing wrong with that, but if your object is to find someone to date, your time is best spent seeking someone with a similar objective.

27 Feb 2011

As most people are saying, it is time that you get away from her emotionally, mentally, and physically, because if she only sees you as a friend and occassional fuck after all this time, then you will certainly be stuck in this friend zone for the rest of your relationship with her. Trust me from experience, if you stick around then you will ultimately suffer terrible heart break if you try and push the relationship beyond that friend zone.