Hi everyone, havent logged in a long time!!
Basically i just need general dating advice..... There's a guy i met on a dating site, seems like a perfect match, for me anyway, and i really wanna meet him. Ive asked him out and he's agreed but in a non-commital way, i.e. hasnt arranged a time/place. He has said he'll pop into my work to see me but i dont know if/when he will. If not I might try and set an actual date with him.
In the mean time, I dont know how much to talk to him. I know this seems like a really stupid question but i am crap at this kind of thing. I dont wanna annoy him or put him off.... Even in relationships i just dont know how to..... be. This is hard to explain but does anyone have any advice?
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Dating help!
Bonnet Flaunter
Quote by MMonroe
Hi everyone, havent logged in a long time!!
Basically i just need general dating advice..... There's a guy i met on a dating site, seems like a perfect match, for me anyway, and i really wanna meet him. Ive asked him out and he's agreed but in a non-commital way, i.e. hasnt arranged a time/place. He has said he'll pop into my work to see me but i dont know if/when he will. If not I might try and set an actual date with him.
In the mean time, I dont know how much to talk to him. I know this seems like a really stupid question but i am crap at this kind of thing. I dont wanna annoy him or put him off.... Even in relationships i just dont know how to..... be. This is hard to explain but does anyone have any advice?
Hm. Ok, MM, this guy might just be wary, but being non-committal, not wanting a set up a date with you and just possibly popping into your work possibly, maybe, sometime, does not show huge enthusiasm, despite seeming a perfect match for you in theory.
Also, of course, we want to give the best impression to a new, potential partner but that is mutual for both parties. It's only natural for you to feel anxious about what and how much to say, but the same goes for your date too. My advice would be to build up your own self-esteem before diving into dating so that you engage in an equal relationship from the very start, with a sense of self-confidence. Wishing you the best of luck!
I think if i waited to do that I'd never be in a relationship again! If we were to meet face to face and go on a date it would be fine I just dunno if i should be messaging him, keeping the conversation flowing or just wait for him to pop up.
Basically, show you're keen, dont let him get away but risk coming across as a psycho stalker OR let him come to me, play it cool, but run the risk of him thinking 'well she's not interested' (which 9/10 is the outcome for me)
Basically, show you're keen, dont let him get away but risk coming across as a psycho stalker OR let him come to me, play it cool, but run the risk of him thinking 'well she's not interested' (which 9/10 is the outcome for me)
Quote by MMonroe
Hi everyone, havent logged in a long time!!
Basically i just need general dating advice..... There's a guy i met on a dating site, seems like a perfect match, for me anyway, and i really wanna meet him. Ive asked him out and he's agreed but in a non-commital way, i.e. hasnt arranged a time/place. He has said he'll pop into my work to see me but i dont know if/when he will. If not I might try and set an actual date with him.
In the mean time, I dont know how much to talk to him. I know this seems like a really stupid question but i am crap at this kind of thing. I dont wanna annoy him or put him off.... Even in relationships i just dont know how to..... be. This is hard to explain but does anyone have any advice?
Your situation is perfectly normal you know. This "Should I do it? Or should I do it not?" question keeps our mind clouded.
Why didn't he fixed a date/place? (I suppose you don't know the reason either)
Are you certain the person you've met virtually is quite the same in real ? It's not wise to develop feelings for the person you haven't met ! But then again poor heart is famous for this crime.
Reasons behind his hesitation could be ..maybe he's just a self-conscious... Or fake (I seriously hope not) or just wants to move things slowly and need his time or space. If he's this kind of guy you should just let him be (If you've tried to bring this date topic indirectly to him for more than twice and he dodged the question smoothly he's this kind of guy) . Just talk normally like you used to before ...don't project it as you're too enthusiastic about the date idea and let him get to the main topic.
Or the other reason could be maybe he's just a flirty guy and not interested in anything serious..you can know a lot about a guy not just by "talking" to him alone ..you can observe his surrounding , his frnds or other small behaviours ( observe is the word here not STALKING).Try to find out what kinda guy he is all this while keep things light and friendly only ...remember this ..he will try to bring the date or feelings topic anyways if he really likes you ....if not.. sexy men population ain't going down like the economy , you will get across plenty of more sexy men.
Good luck ! (Let us know if he's not lazy in bed if it gets there haha)
Thank you. From what i can gather so far I think he's just normal, keep to himself kind of guy, no hassle, no drama. He seems very laid back about life so maybe thats his attitude to dating as well.When ive brought up meeting he's seemed very positive, enthusiastic, he even told me he did come into my work once and i wasnt there. Maybe he is talking to other girls and wants to keep his options open. i like to think im a good judge of character so not necessarily a 'player'.
So far Im just going to wait and see if he does pop into my work and if not, try and arrange a date. or chat to him without floating the idea of a date.. Ugh. dating is hard
So far Im just going to wait and see if he does pop into my work and if not, try and arrange a date. or chat to him without floating the idea of a date.. Ugh. dating is hard
What I usually do in this situation is just play it cool, be myself. Never over do it and try to be something that you're not. Most people see right through that.
Also, don't give the impression of being desperate or needy. Pretend you're the sort of person who has loads of women chasing you all the time.
Myself, on a first date, I act cool and aloof, and respond to questions with one word answers such as "cool" or "whatever" and run my fingers through my hair every now and then. You mark my words, that gets them going.
Also, don't give the impression of being desperate or needy. Pretend you're the sort of person who has loads of women chasing you all the time.
Myself, on a first date, I act cool and aloof, and respond to questions with one word answers such as "cool" or "whatever" and run my fingers through my hair every now and then. You mark my words, that gets them going.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by Desperate_Dan
Myself, on a first date, I act cool and aloof, and respond to questions with one word answers such as "cool" or "whatever" and run my fingers through my hair every now and then. You mark my words, that gets them going.
That would get me going home. Quickly. On my own. Or is that just if you don't like them?MMonroe, it's good to see you here again. I'm the worst person for dating knowledge, but my advice is to be outright about things. I would offer a couple of suitable times, and say I hope I'm not being pushy. If he responds favourably, you get a date.
If he doesn't, being wary of somebody isn't always a bad thing. I would give him the time and space to turn up at my work at some point. If he's got an ounce of decency, in my opinion, he'll either move forward with you, or he'll be clear he doesn't want to.
Personally, I'd treat the situation as a "probably not going to happen, but I'm open if it is" thing. But then, I'm single (that's probably ome of the reasons why). I think the worst thing is waiting and wondering, but for some people, they need time to adjust and get used to an idea before embarking on something or getting to know somebody even as a friend. Maybe he's shy. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt to start with, and see what time brings.
Good luck!
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
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Quote by Shylass
MMonroe, it's good to see you here again. I'm the worst person for dating knowledge, but my advice is to be outright about things. I would offer a couple of suitable times, and say I hope I'm not being pushy. If he responds favourably, you get a date.
If he doesn't, being wary of somebody isn't always a bad thing. I would give him the time and space to turn up at my work at some point. If he's got an ounce of decency, in my opinion, he'll either move forward with you, or he'll be clear he doesn't want to.
Personally, I'd treat the situation as a "probably not going to happen, but I'm open if it is" thing. But then, I'm single (that's probably ome of the reasons why). I think the worst thing is waiting and wondering, but for some people, they need time to adjust and get used to an idea before embarking on something or getting to know somebody even as a friend. Maybe he's shy. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt to start with, and see what time brings.
Good luck!
I was serious when I said "that gets them going".
Going straight out the door, that is. That'll explain why I'm still single. I'll get the hang of it someday. I'm pretty good when I put my mind to things.
Gingerbread Lover
Quote by Desperate_Dan
I was serious when I said "that gets them going".
Going straight out the door, that is. That'll explain why I'm still single. I'll get the hang of it someday. I'm pretty good when I put my mind to things.
We need a Sarcasm font so I don't miss it.
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Gingerbread Lover
Quote by Desperate_Dan
No, ignore sarcasm. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. Don't go there. I sink to those depths occasionally, when feeling dejected and letdown.
Let's stand up for what we believe and have a good laugh. What's life without fun?
I'm very short, so I get on with low wit very well, thank you. Fancy a date?
Sorry for the hijack, MM. Over and out.
Ut incepit fidelis, sic permanet.
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Whatever you do don't give up the good. You are looking for the one. Unless sex is very important to you then you do need to have sex with him, a few times before you make your mind up. Sex is never the same so you have to get a broader idea of how you two gel in that way. He's sound like he enjoys playing games. I hate guys like that. They give the rest of us a bad name. But girls seem to really go for that kind of thing. If you do have sex with him make sure you tell him your thoughts before hand: hey cumming one way or another. So if you can't do it for me then that's a shame because I really thought we could have been. (Something along those lines) Just keep in mind 'the one' has the most potential to hurt your heart. So take it slow. I know you want to get in the sack and fall in love. I don't want to see you get hurt by anyone less then 'the one'.
Active Ink Slinger
Dating sites is quite cool. Even if your schedule is so hectic to find your forever your still can find. 
Dating sites are no good. Here is way: you're going on a date with someone before you even know them.
That is just dumb. Most of the time you'll find guys say/write what they think the girl wants to hear/read, and for the most part that works. Two things will happen: 1 you meet the guy and he acts nothing like his words portray himself. 2. He acts just like the words portray him. Either way it is just an act. The difference is #2 will take longer for the girl to realize what the guy is really about.
Find an honest guy you know in person and interact with him. No need to go on dates. Then one day you can make up your mind if you want this guy to be your husband or nah. And dating would not had to come into play.
I say find an honest guy because it will cut through a lot of the bull shit. It is shocking how many guys act in ways that are not themselves. I'll use myself as an example who I am online is who I am in real life, however, only the people care and trust and love see this side of me in person and much more. The rest of the people I meet in person they are not important enough for me to care enough to open up to them. It takes a while for me to do that.
You need to peer into yourself and see what qualities you like. Do you need someone that is strong and always serious? Or maybe carefree and funny? The way you know you like someone deeply is by interacting with them--no dating needed. Human nature is difficult to describe. For love you have to let your heart guide you, not your mind. It sounds corny but it really works. But I'm going to tell you love is never the easy path. Even if you meet your soulmate, that love is more difficult in the face of your soulmate. Both of you will have to rises to each other.
Hahaha damn I'm so poetic.
That is just dumb. Most of the time you'll find guys say/write what they think the girl wants to hear/read, and for the most part that works. Two things will happen: 1 you meet the guy and he acts nothing like his words portray himself. 2. He acts just like the words portray him. Either way it is just an act. The difference is #2 will take longer for the girl to realize what the guy is really about.
Find an honest guy you know in person and interact with him. No need to go on dates. Then one day you can make up your mind if you want this guy to be your husband or nah. And dating would not had to come into play.
I say find an honest guy because it will cut through a lot of the bull shit. It is shocking how many guys act in ways that are not themselves. I'll use myself as an example who I am online is who I am in real life, however, only the people care and trust and love see this side of me in person and much more. The rest of the people I meet in person they are not important enough for me to care enough to open up to them. It takes a while for me to do that.
You need to peer into yourself and see what qualities you like. Do you need someone that is strong and always serious? Or maybe carefree and funny? The way you know you like someone deeply is by interacting with them--no dating needed. Human nature is difficult to describe. For love you have to let your heart guide you, not your mind. It sounds corny but it really works. But I'm going to tell you love is never the easy path. Even if you meet your soulmate, that love is more difficult in the face of your soulmate. Both of you will have to rises to each other.
Hahaha damn I'm so poetic.