It depends on how they treated me afterwards.
It really depends who your talking about. Love in Greek has three major distinctions. Eros (sexual), Philio (Brotherly Love), and Agape (Unconditional love).
If you ever obtain unconditional love it bears all things, endures all things, hopes all things. The weakest love is Eros. It is I love you as long as you please me. Hot and consuming while the chemistry is there but lacks in substance when it's gone. We each have that friend that would 'die' for us or us for them. That love is more precious than gold.
Short Answer- No.
Long Answer- We loved them, right? So, we will always remember something about them the rest of our lives. But we have to be realistic, and stop thinking about them after its over, because it wont help us move on, and you wouldnt like to hurt yourself for a person, who doesnt deserve you.
Absolutely. I have allowed myself to pine over an old lover for just a little while. Then I move on. It's never healthy to live life in the past. There are far too many people to meet and to share new memories with.
I think one has to really love themselves to be able to say....hey this just didn't work. Was it me...maybe...was it them...perhaps.
Cry a few tears. Perhaps get a bit of revenge....move the fuck on.
I wouldn't waste any thoughts on past relationships. I'd rather use time to find the next great love of my life.
Hugs,
Mysteria
Xo
As others before me have said, it depends. I was married, got married for the wrong reasons I think. I thought I loved him and maybe I did at first, but any love I had for him died when he started abusing me and cheating on me. So for him, love died a long time ago. After him, I met a wonderful man that I loved and was in love with, and I was with him until he died unexpectedly 5 years ago. I still miss him and think of him a lot, but have gotten past the grief,but will always love him.
The last love I have had may be the hardest. First, after coming to Lush, I discovered an infinity and desire fro women. Most of the exploring and discovery was made right here on Lush. However, Lush being what it is, and not a dating site per se, I always maintained in my head to enjoy the exploration and the fantasy and to understand that it is not reality. That is not to say that real life relationships can't happen on a site like Lush. I personally know of a number of them where people have formed a relationship online, met and continued the relationship in the real world, but I think it is more the exception than the norm.
Having said that, I met a woman here that I fell in love with. I fought it tooth and nail for a long time as there were a number of obstacles to a real life relationship, distance being one of the biggest, but not the only one. Up to this point, I have actually only dated one woman in real life, so there was still that uncertainty of is it really a woman I could fall in love with? As time went by and we talked (and yes, cybered too) we found more and more common ground. Each doubt I expressed was answered with the assurance that it was not the obstacle I was imagining it to be. We made plans to meet, both of us understanding that there was the chance that what we felt online might not come to fruition in real life. I finally admitted to myself and to her that I had indeed fallen in love with her.
For reasons I won't go into, the meeting got called off, and the relationship ended. In many ways, I feel cheated that we never got the chance to actually meet and see where the relationship might have gone. In my head I know that there was a chance that the chemistry might not have been there, but my heart and hopes were shattered. What made it even harder was that I still see this person nearly everyday here. For a while, we stopped talking, but I was finally able to start talking to her again. She is moving on with her life, and I am trying to move on with mine, though I often wonder if she is happy in the choice she made and there are times I still wish we could meet and I could get the answers to all my questions.
It was an idealized relationship in my head and in my heart, which makes it easier to get past, and yet harder at the same time. I think I will always care for this person, and we are still friends, just with some boundaries. This is all still fairly fresh, and while I am better, I have not quite reached the point where I am ready to look for another love. Maybe, hopefully, someday I will be.
My present experience would indicate to me, that NO!
My most recent long term relationship of 8 years came to a screeching halt this past summer. My ex was quite swift in their rebound, and was involved with someone else for some time before it ever dawned on me to ask.
The answer was absolutely soul crushing! ?
The two of them remain in a weekend relationship type arrangement, and I have since brought myself to meet and somewhat socialize with my ex and my intimate replacement on a couple of occasions.
Thing is, it took me some growing up inside to get to that point. And in doing so, I consider my ex to be my closest friend and confidant. We are completely trusting of each other and remain the best of friends.
I realize this example is probably an anomaly of sorts, but I felt it was worthwhile to offer a counter experience to your question!
Hope all works out for you and you find happiness!
???,
Kurtsii
It depends how the relationship ended and how the person have been treated. If it ended badly (cheating, physically abused, emotionally abused, controlled and misused, taken for granted). I'm someone that believes in fairness and loyalty. Unfortunely I'm a hopeless romantic wearing my heart on my sleeve and I have the tendency to say how I feel. I believe in balance so when something or someone no longer makes me happy and bring nothing but drama into my life and I end up cutting that person lose. Believe you me..I don't know but I sort of feel nothing towards that person. Everything I felt fades away with time.
So is it possible to stop loving someone after it's over? I'd say definitely but everything depends on the manner it ended and what the reason for it was. Also how the relationship itself was.
Yes you can. It will take some time,a lot of time along with a lot of tears. But yes you can move on and stop loving that person. Will you ever forget, I don't think so. But stop loving and hurting, yes, once you have closure. And by moving on you can have a full rich relationship again. Give yourself time though, you be surprise what can happen once you let go of that person.
I think love can turn into other things (hate, friendship, bitter regret, acceptance) but it never goes away. I could never be indifferent to someone I once loved.
yep. like a champ. i'm hard that way.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
The short answer is yes... there are factors. I was engaged to be married but I was not ready at age 25, shr broke it off. I understood why.
She and I lived together for a couple of year before the break up, it was a lust relationship, she wanted a family, I wanted to keep playing.
We tried to stay friends after she moved out, but she did not want the same type of relationship I wanted so I one point I had to break contact.
So as Chuck mentioned earlier it depends on interpretation of love, I still am in love with the memories of the time we spent together, but not in love with her as a person.
I went through two plus years of getting over her having much heartache and a whole lot of interesting experiences till my wife domesticated me.
She is a person I care about but, I am in love with my wife and I desire her and do not need any further being in love, she is plenty.
Old in chronological age. But young at heart and desire.
I always assumed that if you quit loving someone you probably never did in the first place..like that it was more of a mistake of the heart
and eventually you woke up and went oops
But I'm in a constant debate with myself on what love is ..in the first place.
I can't. There are different levels but if I'm being honest, I don't stop loving people I've let in. Some are more intense than others but like someone said earlier, occasionally you just have to make the decision to love yourself more and force yourself to let go for the sake of your sanity.
I can and it deals with what went on in said relationship. and there are others where yes still love them
I define nothing. Not beauty, not patriotism. I take each thing as it is, without prior rules about what it should be.
- Bob Dylan
Consistent, Persistent and Bullshit Resistant!
- Trinket
No..love is forever. You may seperate but you will never stop loving someone you have shared parts of your life with.
For me, no. If it's true love, unselfish love... I would always love that person. Just not in love.
My strongest love relationships are based on true lasting friendship. Including my wife. Greater love has no man than to lay down his life for a friend. The weakest love relationships I've experienced were all about sex. Including my FIRST wife.
of my two previous greater loves, one was evil enough to destroy what love was ever there. the other killed the relationship with constant affairs (of the prescription drug variety). the second I still care for but the love was not reciprocated. Its al dependent on the relationship of course but mostly how it ended I believe IMHO
it depends on how or why the relationship ended, sometimes love can turn to pure hate. unfortunately that can happen.
