Lush Limericks

That's a good one!

Poems and stories, bearers of tiding

Some show feelings free from hiding

Maybe hot and steaming

Or maybe just dreaming

So others may come along on the riding

A horny old lady named Mabel

Bent herself over a table

Saying "If you're not picky

And fancy a quickie

I'm ready, willing and able."

She'd left the curtains wide spread

As she pleasured herself on the bed

Taking a chance

That someone would glance

But 'twas just a squirrel instead

https://flashbak.com/isaac-asimovs-book-of-dirty-limericks-467643/

There was a young lady from Tulsa

Who lived her electrical pulsah.

She’d whip and she’d flip,

And she’d bend at the hip

And cry, “Come ovah heah, I’ll convulse ya!”

Quote by sirius3

Who lived her electrical pulsah.

Loved ?

Sure

A certain effeminate prince

Had a dildo whose size made him wince

One day with a grin

He shoved it all the way in

And nobody's seen the thing since.

There was a young player McGooch

Who loved nothing more than wet cootch.

If the well e’er ran dry,

He’d lube up with K-Y,

And cry, “Just hold still and I’ll scootch!”

A voluptuous lady called Cat

Has boobs which are nowhere near flat

On one a tattoo

Of something

And I'll suckle that tit for the tat

Greatgrandma is still keen on sex

Pays toy boys with social security checks

She had carnal knowledge

With my best friends in college

It's not the thing one expects.

He enjoyed watching sex geriatric

Some say he needs help psychiatric

With teeth in a glass

And a wrinkled ass

I'd find that quite traumatic!

I convinced her that it would be super

To let me do her up the pooper

She was ever so tight

At the start of the night

But by dawn I was in. What a trooper.

Her latte skin is a delight to behold

And 'twixt her thighs? It is fourfold!

Her pink center core

Is my delight to score

Leading to delights uncontrolled

The queen had a lewd impulsiveness

And after speaking at Christmas

Her lady-in-waiting

Found her masturbating

With corgis all up in her businsess

My friend goes on 'time-machine' drives.

Has one of those adventurous wives.

When they're in a taxi

She tickles his jacksie

And he gets there before he arrives.

.

Lynnwitt sometimes claims to be pure

And everyone answers "Oh, sure."

But I've been alerted

She's just converted

And picked up a convent brochure.

.

Novitiate Lynn has the power

When in the priory shower

She turns on the nuns

With her tight little buns

And does whatever they allow her.

.

Innocent, Pure, and Chaste

Well, mostly above the waist

For there down below

An unquenchable glow

Seems quite permanently emplaced

Rob slipped into the nunnary

With intent to have some funnary

But 'twas a friary

He wrote in his diary

While not able to sit on his bunnary

There once was a damsel from Munich

Who had constant distress ‘neath her tunic

Once she got wet

It took forever to get

Dry, a matter most looney-tune-ic.

Innocent, Pure, and Chaste

My God, what a terrible waste!

When there's fun to be had

From just being bad

And turning her insides to paste!

My god some of these are disgusting!

I just want to read something trusting

Whether comedy or sex

Whatever comes next

Had better something entrusting

Bad news for apptobebad

She placed a hook-up want-ad

She wanted to bed

A coquettish co-ed

But all the replies were her dad.

Quote by dlcalguy

Bad news for apptobebad

She placed a hook-up want-ad

She wanted to bed

A coquettish co-ed

But all the replies were her dad.

:lol:

Asian ladies are a lovely vice

Because all are so very nice

Light brown skin

Revealing pink within

Always hooks me just in a trice

Quote by lynnwitt

Asian ladies are a lovely vice

Because all are so very nice

Light brown skin

Revealing pink within

Always hooks me just in a trice

As a matter of mere practicality

I act with impartiality.

If my date acquiesces

Then coitus progresses

Regardless of her nationality.

For sex Rob is very eclectic

So many choices must be quite hectic

But the problem is this

That he can't find a miss

Which leaves him quite apoplectic

My lovelife is full and fulfilling

I'm a catch. I'm Adonis. I'm thrilling!

When I seek out a hussy

I'm really not fussy

But it helps if she's legal and willing.