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A Woman's Prayer (and the Man Version)

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A WOMAN’S PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand..
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.

A MAN'S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking.. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.


I couldn't resist...
Really, sex and laughter do go very well together, and I wondered - and I still do - which is more important.
This made me laugh. Thanks for sharing. Makes me remember....

How to impress a lady:

Listen to her,
Try to understand her,
Care for her,
Talk to her,
Spend quality time with her,
Remember little things she says,
Compliment her,
Sacrifice some time for her,
Comfort her,
Take the time to caress her.


How to impress a guy:

Show up naked,
Bring beer.


We men are such simple creatures smile
My demands of men are few it seems
When ranged beside this young girl's dreams
Of chivalry and derring do
Of Earthly riches, and hawtness too.
It's rare enough that perfection is found
Upon one small patch of masculine ground.
That those few who meet your high criteria
Are beset by females, who cling like wisteria
Wound round yon sturdy garden arbours
Hon, it's hard to find berths in such crowded harbours.

A less stellar man would fulfill my yearnings
One keen to amble down life's unmapped turnings
A fellow willing to share a laugh or three
(And to hit the bowl when he goes for a pee)
Though Priapic traits I do highly prize
In my time on this earth I have surmised
That a good few fellows tend to waver
In how often they require our sexual favours
Now if he should lose this most important of traits
I may well have a go on one of his mates.



ETA: I loved your male view btw....A fine devil's advocate or what? Can't equal it and will not humble myself trying.
“No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.”
― P.J. O'Rourke
clever and funny i chuckel alot money dose not equal sex buuuut it does help wen you are truly equal then mutuial climax is inevatable you ballenced insight is fresh dont let it wilt girl
sbp is right those things could impress a guy. Those things wouldn't impress me, however, I would act impressed so I wouldn't hurt her feelings; I would slowly build her trust and as I did I would let her know--in my own way--what really impressed me.

We're all talking about what men and women want, well, why not talk about what makes us fall in love. For a man and when I say 'a' I mean one. For a man the thing that will make him fall in love with you is love without conditions. He need not be strong. He need not be smart. He need not be handsome. He need not be well with his words nor good with his actions. The only prerequisites is that he rises above all others in whichever way he can; and a result, love's light will cast him a more strong, smart, handsome man. Whose is a dandy with his words and a saint with his ways.
Men we can get away with a lot if we do these three things:
1. Know how to cook and cook for her often
2. Make your woman laugh a lot
3. Don't rush sex