Think I've seen a growing set of profiles that feature non-negotiable restrictions on who will be permitted to contact the owner of the profile. That attitude might be effective if you're the hereditary ruler of a substantial country, but I think it's self-defeating for lesser mortals.
It's easy to avoid human contact: don't open an account and don't put up a profile. If you would like to meet people, then perhaps accept that there's an element of risk and brace yourself for the thronging hordes.
Never had the fun of being that popular, myself, but it sounds exciting!
From the stories I have heard from (mostly) female members of the board, I fully understand their decisions to put out such restrictions. There's an asshole contingent that makes it difficult for them and I would suggest the board is better for them putting up restrictions rather than just packing up and leaving. If someone says they only want to chat with x or y, they are within their rights and we other members should respect that.
It would seem perfectly reasonable to me for anyone to restrict who makes contact with them in any way. We do it in real life and we should be able to do it online. I have no clue why this would not be fine with everyone. There are so many people on this very site happily placing themselves open to meeting and greeting. Take them up on it and allow those who are not interested in you to go on their way without being criticized.
What would we think of someone who states that they only want to chat, talk, or friend with white people?
I don't really respect or like people with restrictive bios. But l do very much enjoy open minded people with depth of character.
Clearly, I had not considered this in-depth. I was thinking only of women who are trying to reduce the amount of harassment they sometimes receive. If we simply consider that I am happy that they are able to restrict the types of contact they receive. But if anyone decides to use attributes such as race as a criterion that would change my assessment of their reasons.
There was a time when people were mostly racial and not racist. That has all changed for the worst. It is difficult now to be racial without someone calling you a racist.
I am okay with people being able to control the borders of their lives and include or exclude as they see fit. I am less than okay with other people telling me what I must include or exclude in my life for greater good within society. I dislike peas and petunias because of childhood experiences and do not wish to have either in my life. If I can exclude content that has either of them, I will be happy to use that power.
A man in the house is worth two in the street- Mae West
Who said anything about race?
99% of the profiles that I have seen with some sort of 'restriction' written in the bio are along the lines of, "Only interested in talking to women! Men don't message me."
I assumed the OP was referring to something like that.
I can see how requests for men not to contact might be a kind of sexism, but on the other hand, how often did these ladies receive unsolicited sexual requests or pictures from men? I think simply saying its a form of sexism is an oversimplification at the least.
People are allowed to set boundaries on their personal lives.
Those boundaries may reflect them being racist, sexist, or whatever but they are still allowed to have their boundaries. A white person who won't talk to black people cannot be forced to do so, though we can try to persuade them.
However, it can also reflect their life experience. In this case, I think the restrictive bios reflect the latter: women who have been harassed or had guys not take "no" for an answer setting a boundary to avoid that situation. That's not sexism, that's dealing with a problem in their life in a reasonable, rational way.
All of this is saying that we cannot always judge a person by the boundaries that they set. Sometimes there a good reason for the boundaries, sometimes there is a bad one and unless they are public about their reasons, we cannot necessarily make assumptions about who they are or what they believe based on those boundaries.
All I ask is that guys who contact me be interesting (okay, "damn interesting"), and not just want to sex-chat with me. Otherwise, all are welcome.
The reality is that there are many women who receive loads of rude and inappropriate messages from men who think that, because this is a sex site, they can just demand sex and get it. Putting such a restriction in one's profile shows that the sender of the message either A) didn't read one's profile or B) doesn't care about one's wishes. It functions as a litmus test for people to block. And yes, it's mostly women getting messages from men. As for other restrictions, like race- no one here is required to explain or defend their personal preferences. If they're nasty about it, then that tells me that the person isn't someone I want to talk to anway, and saves both of us from wasting each other's time.
my profile is not restrictive, look me up.
