How to lose your job... ABC style

1 May 2013

List alphabetically ways to lose your job.

A-
Abruptly start yelling at your customers when your boss is passing by.

1 May 2013

B -

Botch up painting of a room, by knocking the paint can over on the carpet flooring, you were going to same time and did not install the protective drop cloth.

2 May 2013

C-

Catching the the CEO in the bathroom and blackmailing him and drive so him so mentally crazy insane

2 May 2013

damn stupidly - taking a crap on your manager's desk, with them there, in front of the rest of the office and getting caught on cctv.

2 May 2013

Emerging from the bathroom with the bosses son/ daughter adjusting his/her clothes

2 May 2013

Fire-starter: start a fire in the break room.

(Would say "Fuck the boss's kid, but Choosiemama beat me to it.)

2 May 2013

Great white shark - bring your pet shark into work, set it on the boss.

3 May 2013

H - Hire a Hooker for everyone during the work hours.

3 May 2013

Insert your penis in your boss's daughter...or son.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░

3 May 2013

(This one doesn't count if you're a hooker.)

Jerk off during work: often, and enough to hurt your productivity.

3 May 2013

K- bring in Kangaroos and have bounce of the walls

3 May 2013

Leave early to fuck bosses wife/husband

3 May 2013

massage your manhood/mammaries until orgasm reached.......whilst having your annual evaluation with the senior management team

3 May 2013

N - Nibble your boss's nipples/nuts. pick one.

3 May 2013

Dress like a slut

3 May 2013

Quote by vjlegbabe
Dress like a slut

pity its not an abc reply, but dressing like a slut is more likely to get you a job!!

Quote by trinket
N - Nibble your boss's nipples/nuts. pick one.

O - openly set up your own rival company whilst still working for your current employer

3 May 2013

Pass out perverse photos of the bosses provocative partner pounding petrified poles.... smile

3 May 2013

quickie sex with every one else in the office except your manager

3 May 2013

R - Rim your boss's wife on his desk

3 May 2013

S - Sperm: jizz in the boss's morning coffee

4 May 2013

T- throw the trash everywhere and set the teletubbies to destroy the work place

4 May 2013

Undress and do the willy snake dance.... lol

4 May 2013

Vanish during the middle of an important meeting after sending a CC: email to every single person in the corporation, where you address the HR manager and instruct her or him that you'll vanquish every single vermin in the company unless you receive your yearly bonus. Make sure you bullet point all the office affairs, ass kissers and their deeds, backstabbing cocksuckers and social climbers and as many conspiracies as you can remember or invent.

The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.

4 May 2013

W -- Wank over you desk, your boss's desk, everyones desk, then scream bloody murder and run around like a fucking lunatic

4 May 2013

Xylophone - Play one really loudly during important meetings and when challenged about it, play dumb, stop for a bit and then play again, louder than before.

4 May 2013

Zip -- Zip and unzip your pants constantly in front of your co-workers

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4 May 2013

Attack the boss, tie him to the chair as you fuck his wife, forcing him to watch.....

4 May 2013

break every company rule in the same day

4 May 2013

Close the elevator doors after you jump on, next to the CEO and CIO, then press the alarm button to stop lift. Let loose with a cacophony of anal blurtings from previous evenings burrito and tequila festival.

The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.

4 May 2013

Dance naked through the office all day long