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Writing Emotions VISUALLY

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First Person Smartass
[B][CENTER]Writing Emotions VISUALLY
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[B][I]"What is ...VISUAL writing?"[/I][/B]
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Visual writing is when the reader can SEE your story unfolding in their imaginations just like a movie.

* [I]Non-visual: [/I]It was a dreary day.
* [I]Visual[/I]: Icy rain slithered down the window glass from an iron gray sky.

This is more commonly known as SHOWING vs. TELLING.

* [I]Telling: [/I]It was a dreary day.
* [I]Showing: [/I]Icy rain slithered down the window glass from an iron gray sky.

[CENTER][B][I]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What's wrong with just...Telling them?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [/I][/B][/CENTER]
The problem lies with Reader interpretation. Abstract (poetic) words and ideas rely on the readers' interpretation of what those words mean to them personally.

[I]For example:[/I]
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She was woefully depressed.

[I]Consider:[/I]
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* How does Big Bird act when he's woefully depressed?
* How do YOU act when you're woefully depressed?

Is there a difference?

Well yeah, birds molt. They lose all their feathers when they're depressed. When you were woefully depressed, did you lose all your feathers? (Do you [I]have[/I] feathers?)

If your definitions of those feelings [I]don't match[/I] with the reader's definitions -- you're screwed. In other words, the moment you and the reader come to a strong enough '[B]difference of opinion[/B]', they'll stop reading and put your story down, never to pick it up again. Do it too much and the reader will stop reading ANYTHING by you.

Think I'm exaggerating?
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Get on one of the book/author fan-lists and ASK. (I did.)

[CENTER][B]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So, how do you SHOW emotions in writing?
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According to Dianna Dorisi-Winget in "[I]Let's Get Physical![/I]":
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[I]"... fiction writers must employ description that accurately expresses a character's feelings."[/I]
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She's not talking about flowery, sentimental, poetic words, AKA: purple prose, she means describe the physical characteristics of the emotion you're trying to convey.

[CENTER][B]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How does one DESCRIBE feelings and emotions?
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Emotions appear as Body Language. Describing an emotion is as simple as describing the character's body language in addition to describing what they feel physically and mentally. Don't say: "she was sad," describe the way her tears feel as they run down her cheeks, and the way her heart feels in her chest.

According to James Scott Bell in his article "[I]Leave Them With Hope[/I]":
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[I]"...the author must experience the emotion and describe (the emotion felt) with all five senses, write it as he "feels" it.”[/I]
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Dorisi-Winget says:
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[I]"The trick is tapping into your 'emotion memory.' Get beyond the pounding heart and clenched fist."[/I]
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Emotion Memory is simply remembering how you felt when you were experiencing the emotion your character is going through.

[I][B]Let's go back to Depression... [/B][/I]
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Do you remember what you felt like [I]physically[/I] when you were depressed? That's what you write. Now consider what depression [I]looks[/I] like... What did you [I]do[/I] when you were depressed?

[CENTER][B]Hold that thought because THIS is where characterization gets tricky![/B][/CENTER]
While depression pretty much [I]feels[/I] the same for everyone, how people [B]react[/B] to it is another whole bowl of [I]kimchee[/I].

Depression affects different people very differently. Some get very quiet, some get violent and hurt others, (picking fights,) some only hurt themselves, (cutting). Some eat a lot of food, some stop eating altogether. Some throw loud temper tantrums, yelling at anything that gets too close, and others refuse to say even one word.

How would YOUR character react? Describe the feelings AND the actions. Show them being depressed in all their torrid glory.

[B]Don't TELL it: [/B]
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She was woefully depressed.

[B]SHOW it:[/B]
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She leaned to one side against the wall with her shoulders slumped, staring at nothing at all. Her eyes burned with tears that wouldn't fall. Every beat of her heart seemed to take more effort than it was worth, but somehow, it just kept beating. She was long past pain and well into numb. If only she could stay there, and never feel anything at all, ever again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Believe it or not, TELLING the reader what the character is feeling is not nearly as effective or powerful as SHOWING them.

[I][B]Exercise: [/B][/I]
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* Write a scene where you tell what the character is feeling and doing using as many flowery words as you can.
* Write the same scene describing what the character is doing and feeling.
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By the way, it's perfectly okay to use one or two flowery decorative words in addition to your physical descriptions, and in Dialogue -- internally, or out loud. When used to flavor descriptions, it gives what you are describing emotional impact. When used in Dialogue, it gives your characters flavor.

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* Hand both versions to your beta readers and see what they think.
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Looking for a Cheater's Guide to the physical characteristics of emotions?
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[B]The Non-Verbal Thesaurus[/B]
http://darkerotica.blogspot.com/2006/02/non-verbal-thesaurus.html

[CENTER][I]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following is for those looking to get published.
If you're just writing for fun and not profit, feel free to skip this part.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[/I][/CENTER]
[CENTER][B]Is this advice Cramping your LITERARY Style...?[/B][/CENTER]

[I][B]"What about all those flowery literary phrases that everybody else uses?"
AKA: "But Anne Rice does it, why can't I?"[/B][/I]
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Who is everybody else? Are they alive and still publishing books, or dead?

Once upon a time, literary writing was how one got published, so naturally that's what they teach in college. I got news for all you literary students going to class to become fiction authors: Euphemistic and/or literary writing is all well and fine in Creative Writing and Fan-Fiction, but that won't get you published any more.

Keep in mind, I'm talking BOOK publishers, not magazines or anthology publications that will only pay you $100.00 flat fee and No Royalties. Hell, even the EBook publishers won't take literary stuff. (They're all looking for Erotic Romance.)

Of course, there's always the 'self-publishing route...? www.lulu.com

Outside of poetry, and high-brow literary journals, the only stuff in the Literary style being bought by the general public -- and publishers today, are Classics. We're talking stuff that were originally called Torrid Romances, ([I]Wuthering Heights, Jane Eyre.[/I]..) Pulp Fiction, ([I]Sherlock Holmes, HG Wells' novels, Dickens' novels[/I]...) and Penny Dreadfuls ([I]Dracula, Frankenstein, Edgar Allen Poe's works[/I]...) Stuff that was published a hundred years ago or longer; stuff that was NOT considered Literary in their day; stuff by authors that are currently DEAD.

[CENTER][B][I]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"But! But! But what about the great literary authors still alive today...?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [/I][/B][/CENTER]
London Times
[B]Publishers toss Booker winners into the Reject Pile[/B]
by Jonathan Calvert and Will Iredale
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...Typed manuscripts of the opening chapters of Naipaul's In a Free State and a second novel, Holiday, by Stanley Middleton, were sent to 20 publishers and agents. None appear to have recognized them as Booker prizewinners from the 1970s that were lauded as British novel writing at its best.

Of the 21 replies, all but one were [B]rejections[/B].

Only Barbara Levy, a London literary agent, expressed an interest, and that was for Middleton's novel. She was unimpressed by Naipaul's book. She wrote: [I]"We . . . thought it was quite original. In the end though I'm afraid we just weren't quite enthusiastic enough to be able to offer to take things further."[/I]

-- Read the Rest of the story?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-1965623,00.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I said before, outside of poetry, and high-brow literary journals, the only stuff in the Literary style being bought by the general public and publishers TODAY (not 20 years ago), are Classics.

[I][B]“So, how come Anne Rice can get away with her florid and rather literary style of writing?”[/B][/I]
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Because she's ANNE RICE.

Consider this, no matter what she writes, or how she writes it, she's going to sell a million copies. NO ONE is going to argue with an author that can sell a million copies with their name alone.

Is [I]your[/I] name Anne Rice? No? Then, you're just going to have to follow the publishing house rules just like the rest of us not-quite-famous authors.

When you can sell a million copies on just your name alone, you'll be able to write any gosh darned thing in any gosh darn way you care to because absolutely no one will argue with you. Don't want an editor? No one will argue that either; just ask Steven King or Anne Rice.

In short, if you want to be published in this day and age, forget the expensive literary writing courses. Take a nice cheap class on [I]commercial copywriting[/I] because that is the style of writing publishers are looking for today.

[I][B]"Copywriting...? Isn't that for Advertising...?"[/B][/I]
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Yes it is. Think, what does Advertising do? It delivers its message with as much emotional impact and persuasive power as it can jam into One Sentence or less:

-- "Got milk?"
-- "The incredible, edible, egg."
-- "The Quicker Picker-Upper."
-- "Takes a lickin' but keeps on tickin'."

Copywriting teaches you to deliver the most amount of information in the least amount of words. Just think what that style of writing could do for your fiction! (It's done wonders for mine.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parts unashamedly from:
[I]Create Emotion, Not Sentimentality, in Fiction:[/I]
By Vivian Gilbert Zabel
http://ezinearticles.com/?Create-Emotion,-Not-Sentimentality,-in-Fiction&id=160141

Enjoy!

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[B]DISCLAIMER:[/B] [I]As with all advice, take what you can use and throw out the rest. As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT. [/I]
Morgan Hawke
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Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
Lurker
Amen to show it, don't tell it. I'm a non-visual imaginer, so if the writer doesn't help me by creating visuals of characters, scenes, I am left with reading what is essentially a recitation by characters with whom I have no connection. That's just no fun and boredom is not something I want to experience while reading.

Huzzah huzzah, Ms. Morgan!

Peace.
First Person Smartass
Quote by daniel_mcleod
Amen to show it, don't tell it. I'm a non-visual imaginer, so if the writer doesn't help me by creating visuals of characters, scenes, I am left with reading what is essentially a recitation by characters with whom I have no connection. That's just no fun and boredom is not something I want to experience while reading.


I keep trying to tell people this, but nobody ever wants to listen to me. ~sigh~
Thank you sweety!
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
Removalist
Thank you! I am sure this passage will help me be brave enough to attempt a story. I am told that my poems are capable of painting the picture that you describe but I find that my stories lack that same skill. This was just what I needed.
First Person Smartass
Quote by TopThis
Thank you! I am sure this passage will help me be brave enough to attempt a story. I am told that my poems are capable of painting the picture that you describe but I find that my stories lack that same skill. This was just what I needed.


You're very welcome.
-- I love inspiring people to write!
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
Active Ink Slinger
The ability to 'show' not 'tell' is indubitably the dividing line between writing and good writing ....Regardless of genre an author's ability to 'show ' is the seductive force that compels reader to continue
Active Ink Slinger
The ability to 'show' not 'tell' is indubitably the dividing line between writing and good writing ....Regardless of genre an author's ability to 'show ' is the seductive force that compels reader to continue
First Person Smartass
Quote by KILLIANRUSSELL
The ability to 'show' not 'tell' is indubitably the dividing line between writing and good writing ....Regardless of genre an author's ability to 'show ' is the seductive force that compels reader to continue


Not necessarily.
-- I've actually read a few absolutely brilliant stories that were almost entirely Told.

The dividing line between writing and good writing lies with Experience, not Technique. An experienced author can use Any technique --including pure Telling-- and make it Good.
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
Active Ink Slinger
Thought I'd add my two cents:

I think showing vs telling is often an issue of confidence. You don't trust your reader to follow what you mean, so you try to explain it. Instead of saying she hugged her arms round her middle, you say, she hugged her arms round her middle, defensively. Or worse, she looked defensive.

The more you grow in confidence as a writer, the easier it becomes to trust that you can get the message across with your visuals.

A good story can be told; telling doesn't necessarily mean bad writing. But I think it does tend to mean less immersive writing. The very nature of telling puts you one step back from the action, with the narrator, or the author, acting as a buffer. It's a choice of style that needs to be based on the story and the characters.
Active Ink Slinger
.Maybe a matter of semantics ,I agree all writers tell stories. However in so far as milieu, verbose uninspired "telling" translates rarely into good fiction

If I read 'A ceiling fan slashes ineffectually at the syrupy air ' I am seduced into reading on

When I read 'as you all know summer is not only hot but it is humid' I am not inspired to read more
Active Ink Slinger
Like I said, immersive. ;)

Good example.

Of course there are grades of showing vs telling.
Some might say using the word ineffectually is still telling. To take it all the way you can drop that and go with "A ceiling fan slashes at the syrupy air but barely creates a whisper of draft"
Constant Gardener
What passed for a ceiling fan in the whore's flop room, couldn't evaporate the torrent of perspiration cascading from her client's tightening torso, too.

Or, have I lost anyone yet?
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Purveyor of Poetry & Porn
Quote by WellMadeMale
What passed for a ceiling fan in the whore's flop room, couldn't evaporate the torrent of perspiration cascading from her client's tightening torso, too.




There was a ceiling fan where you used to go??? You must have went to one of those high priced joints...

"The aging hooker puffed impatiently on her cigarette, the rising smoke momentarily obscured the dim light from the bare bulb which hung by a frayed wire from the cracked ceiling as her young client rummaged through his pockets hoping to come up with enough change to procure her services..."

You know you want it, you know you need it bad...get it now on Amazon.com...
Lush Erotica, an Anthology of Award Winning Sex Stories
First Person Smartass
Quote by Mistress_of_words
The very nature of telling puts you one step back from the action, with the narrator, or the author, acting as a buffer. It's a choice of style that needs to be based on the story and the characters.


Agreed!
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
Active Ink Slinger
Touche .....Altering 'A ceiling fan slashes ineffectually at the syrupy air '....to read "A ceiling fan slashes at the syrupy air but barely creates a whisper of draft" is a prime example of showing rather than my juvenile telling .
Active Ink Slinger
I was just being pedantic :P

If anyone is looking for a resource to help with visually conveying emotions, there is a clever little "emotion thesaurus" on "The Book Shelf Muse" on Blogspot, which matches up body language and behaviour to emotions and thoughts:

NOTE - the blog mentioned above is a) a writers resource blog, not somewhere that publishes fiction, and b) not my blog. I don't think this goes against the rules, but let me know if it does.
First Person Smartass
Quote by Mistress_of_words
If anyone is looking for a resource to help with visually conveying emotions, there is a clever little "emotion thesaurus" on "The Book Shelf Muse" on Blogspot, which matches up body language and behaviour to emotions and thoughts.


I made a Non-Verbal Thesaurus for my own use a few years ago.I posted it here so you guys can use it too. It has Pictures! --> http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst15916_The-NonVerbal-Thesaurus.aspx
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein