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Interior Monologues

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“[I]I was just wondering what you think about interior monologues, long passages of reflection?[/I]”
-- Curious Kitty
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[B][I]A note on:[/I] Interior Monologues [/B]
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Whether you are considering adding a lengthy monologue to a story, or intend the monologue to be the story itself; where the focus of the entire story is on one character’s thoughts and feelings with very little action, from my observations and experimentation, the readers either love them or hate them. There's no in-between.

However, it is notable that the monologue stories that are sought out most frequently usually focus on a profound emotion of some kind: [I]grief, loneliness, heartache[/I]... Usually by those seeking to deal with such an emotion as a kind of therapy, or by those that have never felt such emotions. (Strong emotional stories are extremely popular with young adults.)

In both cases, not only does the reader seek to submerge themselves in these profound emotions, they are also looking for a solution, a way back out from under these feelings.

In short, don’t try to write something like this unless you already have a solution to your story problem in mind. You really don’t want the hate mail that will come if you leave your readers hanging.

I'm an escapist by nature, so I fall into the other category -- those that can only handle internal monologues in extremely tiny doses. I prefer my emotionally deep thoughts mixed in with the character [I]doing[/I] something; an action scene [I]flavored[/I] by internal narration, rather than a lengthy monologue.

Being older (in my 40's,) I've actually had to deal with these sorts of emotions; [I]death, grief, heartache, loss...[/I] on a far too personal basis, so dwelling on them (reading long emotional passages,) isn't something I'm comfortable with.

Interestingly enough, the scanlated Japanese novellas that I've been reading seem to be almost solid immersions into emotion with action sprinkled in to give it a sense of motion -- even if the motion is merely circular.

Unfortunately, scanlations of any kind are extremely [I][B]subjective[/B][/I]. They're chosen because they appeal to the English-reading folks scanlating the story. Because of this, there's no way to tell of this is a common Japanese style, or merely a sign of the scanlators' preferences.

[B][I]In Conclusion…[/I][/B]
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When deciding whether or not your monologue is appropriate for what you are writing, consider your target reading audience.

If you’re writing a story steeped in emotional upswings such as a romance, a monologue or two will probably fit right in. However, if you’re writing something with lots of action such as an adventure, you just might want to consider sprinkling bits of light action among your passages of deep thought to keep it from dragging down the pace you’ve already set for your story.

Enjoy!

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DISCLAIMER: As with all advice, take what you can use and throw out the rest. As a multi-published author, I have been taught some fairly rigid rules on what is publishable and what is not. If my rather straight-laced (and occasionally snotty,) advice does not suit your creative style, by all means, IGNORE IT.
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
Okay, I like to write in my characters thoughts sometimes but I am not sure if I'm technically doing it correctly. I feel like they are crowbarred in and might be confusing to the reader. To me it makes sense because I wrote it but I'm not sure if it is all that clear to the reader or if it breaks up whatever flow I had going.

Here is an example of one of mine that has these 'thoughts' sprinkled in.

http://www.lushstories.com/stories/group-sex/one-thing-leads-to-another-the-head.aspx

Am I doing it right?

I know that there are other aspects I can work on... Keep in mind my target audience is younger and more... Stoned?
Quote by Magical_felix
...I am not sure if I'm technically doing it correctly.
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/group-sex/one-thing-leads-to-another-the-head.aspx
Am I doing it right?


Felix sweety, I don't check other people's work to see if they're 'doing it right,' nor do I offer opinions on it, also known as critiquing.

I have no problems answering questions on technique, but I will not correct anyone's work. That's a job for an editor or a beta-reader. Beta-readers are people that volunteer to read your stuff and 'check your work' for typos and story continuity. Editors are are people Paid to read your stuff and 'check your work' for typos and story continuity. I am neither -- nor do I wish to be.

If you're looking for a couple of beta-readers, the best way to get some is by advertising on your personal blog and asking point blank: "Would anyone like to Beta-Read my stuff?"
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
After rereading this I just realized that I totally misunderstood what this advice was about. Embarrassing.

I don't think anyone that reads my blog beta-reads for money either unfortunately.

Anyway...

I was just wondering about the proper way to add a characters thoughts into a story written in third person. You may know a good resource for this or something, I figured I would ask.

Thanks anyway darling.
Quote by Magical_felix
I was just wondering about the proper way to add a characters thoughts into a story written in third person.


THIS I can help you with!
-- There are two types of 'thought' styles used in a story.

Direct thoughts:
-- Internal Dialogue; when the character is actually speaking in his own mind. Because direct thoughts are a form of Dialogue, they're italicized.

Kiba smiled tightly. "I'll be more than happy to carry a tray to Dr. Haruno." And make her eat every bite too.

Indirect thoughts:
-- When the character is thinking, but not having an actual internal dialogue.

Kiba eyed what he could of her firm thighs exposed by her snug shorts and that sweet, sweet ass. His mouth watered while heat began to spiral downward and tighten his pants. Gods... Fired up and spitting mad, the woman was hot. With a groan of pure hunger, Kiba reached down to adjust himself. What he wouldn't give to have all that screaming fury redirected into screaming passion. Clearly, she would break a bed.
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein
I wanted to stop by and thank Morgan, since studying the material she has posted I have got exponentially better, sadly if we are to write about what we know I really will not be able to create the subject matter for this site. Nonetheless, the help has been huge…thanks so much !
Quote by KillianRussell
I wanted to stop by and thank Morgan, since studying the material she has posted I have got exponentially better...

Excellent! I love being helpful.

Quote by KillianRussell
...sadly if we are to write about what we know I really will not be able to create the subject matter for this site.

If you don't Know something, there's always Google.com or Wikipedia? That's what I use. smile
Be glad you didn't start writing when I did - BEFORE the Internet was invented.

Quote by KillianRussell
Nonetheless, the help has been huge…thanks so much !

You're very welcome.
Morgan Hawke
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Purveyor of fine Smut.
Morgan Hawke's DarkErotica ~ My Website
DarkErotica Blog ~ My Writers' blog

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
Albert Einstein