1. If it’s the first thing you’re asked that’s a bit of a red flag.
2. Questions like this are ok if things are about to get intimate, but I more try and feel out what the person is comfortable with in terms of their body and sexual experience.
3. I’ve heard a lot of stories from a good friend who was trans but had no interest in surgery that a partner’s excitement about their genitals varied greatly. Some were super excited about the ‘chick with a dick’ and would really want to engage with their cock. Others pretended it wasn’t there at all. She told me exactly what I think your feeling here, it’s not a great feeling to be fetishized and depersonalized.
