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Should we trust in love?

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TonyZ
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We all know about the risk of giving our hearts to the wrong person... love is definitely a dangerous business. It is quite easy to end up in pieces with our hearts broken. Worse of all there is no magical formula that would ensure our happiness even if you at first succeed to find our soul mate. Some might even go as far as saying that Cupid should be restrained, put behind bars or stripped of his love powers.



What do you guys think? Should a normal mortal being cease to believe in love? Does each time that we trust in love and get our hearts broken make us harder on the inside? or perhaps wiser, or is it pickier? How many times is enough? Does it get easier or harder the more we try and fail? How about if life gives us a small sample of the golden nectar, only to rip it out of our hearts forever? Is it different for straight, gay or lesbian people? (I don't see how it would, but perhaps you guys have a different answer)
dpw
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Quote by TonyZ
We all know about the risk of giving our hearts to the wrong person... love is definitely a dangerous business. It is quite easy to end up in pieces with our hearts broken. Worse of all there is no magical formula that would ensure our happiness even if you at first succeed to find our soul mate.


What do you guys think? Should a normal mortal being cease to believe in love? Does each time that we trust in love and get our hearts broken make us harder on the inside? or perhaps wiser, or is it pickier? How many times is enough? Does it get easier or harder the more we try and fail? How about if life gives us a small sample of the golden nectar, only to rip it out of our hearts forever? Is it different for straight, gay or lesbian people? (I don't see how it would, but perhaps you guys have a different answer)

The big problem is that love is purely subjective in as much it's an emotion that affects people differently. I'm not sure what you mean by the wrong person, you can fall in love with someone but because they're not in love with you does that make it wrong? I can't believe that anybody could think or argue that orientation would have any bearing on it, it's a human trait, the need or want, to love and be loved.
I often think we use the term "in love" too lightly, people in and out of love so frequently but was it love. How often do people look back and realize that they weren't in love. If you fall "out of love" were you really "in love"
I know that some people find it hard to fall in love or rather show their love and resign themselves to that fate. Some have been hurt so badly that they build walls to protect themselves from further pain. I do think the more pain you go through the harder it becomes to commit and open yourself up to the possibility of more heartache.
How many times is enough? That is up to you, you carry on until you succeed or you give up.
SereneProdigy
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Getting our heart broken at times is part of the love game. Sometimes it's nobody's fault, circumstances just render love impossible any longer. It doesn't keep me from trying to find my soulmate, honestly. Plus, a lot of wonderful moments were shared anyway ; love kept me happy for some time, so it's rarely a complete failure to me.

I don't think not having found my soulmate yet really makes me grumpy. I'm a 'special case' (seriously) and it's a little harder for me to relate to other people, so I kinda expected it. The dream is still there, and that's a good thing.

Here's my 'feel good' song that motivates me when I'm feeling a little down about it :




PS: Tony, you often post interesting threads here in LGBT, although I rarely check this forum. Sometimes they're of general nature, and you could as well post them in the 'Ask' sections or 'Crowd Sourcing'. I'm not telling you what to do, just saying in case you thought being gay leaves you confined here in LGBT. There are so many stupid questions in these other forums, you certainly could help make them more interesting.
TonyZ
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Quote by SereneProdigy
PS: Tony, you often post interesting threads here in LGBT, although I rarely check this forum. Sometimes they're of general nature, and you could as well post them in the 'Ask' sections or 'Crowd Sourcing'. I'm not telling you what to do, just saying in case you thought being gay leaves you confined here in LGBT. There are so many stupid questions in these other forums, you certainly could help make them more interesting.


Aww... thank you. It is always nice to hear that what one does is appreciated. I have thought of posting outside of the LGBT section, but posting here has become more like a habit. By the way, you do not need to be LGBT to answer the posts in this section... we are all very inclusive smile
Guest
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Yes. I wrote a poem about it. Not my best, I am not a natural poet but I would not exchange those feelings for feeling nothing. Love if it is returned is wonderful.
SereneProdigy
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Quote by TonyZ


Aww... thank you. It is always nice to hear that what one does is appreciated. I have thought of posting outside of the LGBT section, but posting here has become more like a habit. By the way, you do not need to be LGBT to answer the posts in this section... we are all very inclusive smile


I am LGBT in fact. It stands for Lustful, Gorgeous, Brilliant, Torrid... right?
dpw
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Quote by SereneProdigy


I am LGBT in fact. It stands for Lustful, Gorgeous, Brilliant, Torrid... right?

No, Looking Gorgeously Buff..... Tempting!
Guest
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A very thought-provoking question. But, ultimately, yes, we should always trust in love.

Love is what makes us human, it's one of our universal traits, no matter what our race, creed, gender or sexuality is. We all possess the ability to love, and I'm not just talking about the special kind of love that one person has for their soul-mate. I'm talking about all types of love, from the love you have for your family to the love you show through compassion to complete strangers. I think it is unhelpful to think of love as anything but an uncontrollable emotion that we all have. It isn't fickle, it isn't fleeting. It just is. And the truth is, sometimes it feels like love hurts. Really hurts.

The hurt it produces seems almost a by-product. It's what we feel if our love is rejected or betrayed in some way, or even worse, ignored. But this hurt is not produced by love itself, only by our feelings and reactions to others. We love somebody, they reject us and we hurt, ergo, love hurts.

I can see why some people give up on love, especially if they have been hurt badly, either in a relationship or family abandonment. For some, the wounds go very deep, and often leave invisible scar tissue. Everyone has the opportunity to recover from this hurt, this emotional pain. To some, getting over it can be a long, drawn-out hell, while for others it can be liberating. Sadly, some never recover. It depends on the kind of person we are. Ultimately, though, we need to embrace the cycle of change, to understand that things will be different, and we can help speed up the process by being positive.

Finally, let me ask this question: If we can't trust in love, what else could take its place?
TonyZ
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Quote by NickiC
Yes. I wrote a poem about it. Not my best, I am not a natural poet but I would not exchange those feelings for feeling nothing. Love if it is returned is wonderful.


Well, you were lucky because you found your prince charming... but about the people out there that can't find a match and are continuously exposing their feelings to the wrong people? Is a person a helpless romantic if he continues to try no matter the consequence?

Derek asked, in another thread, if he was a slut for trying to find love... is he? I don't think so, and if he is so am I. So we continue to jump beds until we find our soul mates? is that the deal? We all know that most of the people on dating sites (at least the gay ones), and at bars only want fast hook ups. Yes, you may get lucky and find your perfect match, but most of the times all you get is a few hours of pleasure, then a hug a kiss and a goodbye. If they stick a little longer, then you really run the chance of getting your heart broken. So, do we do this on purpose? Is our internal mechanism preventing our hearts to be broken, preventing us from being happy, from finding our soul mates? Do we intentionally pick sexual partners to satisfy our need for proximity to other human beings in such a way as to prevent our hearts to be broken? or is it instinct to find hot people to fuck and shoo them away? Granted, not everybody feels this way and so there are some people that live the ever after happy tale.

I think sexual maturity also plays an important role in all this, but before we as human beings get to that stage it might be too late. Some people might have already forgotten the dream, and yet others may have had their hearts broken one too many times. As for me, I continue to look out for that perfect someone that will make my days and nights seem like I was living in a fairy tale. Do I jump beds in the process? sure I do, but then again we all have physiological needs. The bad part is that perhaps some of my actions may be, unconsciously, hurting someone else... and that I have to try to avoid at all costs.
TonyZ
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Quote by SereneProdigy


I am LGBT in fact. It stands for Lustful, Gorgeous, Brilliant, Torrid... right?


Love it!
Guest
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I think our ability to love has to be one of the only redeeming features of mankind. We do such awful things to one another but love, in all its forms, is a really beautiful thing to both witness and feel. (Jeez, I must sound so bleeding slushy!)

I would go a step further than allfours in that not only do I think we all possess the ability to love, it is hardwired into us. I don't even think it's an option and I don't think we can cease to believe in it - however much we may want to and tell ourselves we have.

Getting your heart broken makes you toughen up. Put up defenses. Makes you less inclined to open yourself up to someone. But that's just so...human, isn't it? It's instinctive to protect yourself to ever feeling "that way" again.
Once that passes though and it does, eventually (I'm sure the time frame is different for everyone though) another part of our nature is to recover, to persevere, to take risks and make yourself vulnerable again.

At the end of the day, finding love and falling in love with the right person is a feeling like no other. This is why I think we're willing to be hurt time and time again. Sooner or later, opening your heart pays off in the best possible way.


(Will someone please pass the sick bucket?)
TonyZ
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Quote by Milly
(Jeez, I must sound so bleeding slushy!)

(Will someone please pass the sick bucket?)


ROTFLMGAO!!!
Dani
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Quote by Milly
I think our ability to love has to be one of the only redeeming features of mankind. We do such awful things to one another but love, in all its forms, is a really beautiful thing to both witness and feel. (Jeez, I must sound so bleeding slushy!)

I would go a step further than allfours in that not only do I think we all possess the ability to love, it is hardwired into us. I don't even think it's an option and I don't think we can cease to believe in it - however much we may want to and tell ourselves we have.

Getting your heart broken makes you toughen up. Put up defenses. Makes you less inclined to open yourself up to someone. But that's just so...human, isn't it? It's instinctive to protect yourself to ever feeling "that way" again.
Once that passes though and it does, eventually (I'm sure the time frame is different for everyone though) another part of our nature is to recover, to persevere, to take risks and make yourself vulnerable again.

At the end of the day, finding love and falling in love with the right person is a feeling like no other. This is why I think we're willing to be hurt time and time again. Sooner or later, opening your heart pays off in the best possible way.


(Will someone please pass the sick bucket?)


This...all of it.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


Guest
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We have to trust in someone. No matter if that person turns out way different. Its more or less the same, except, looking for a same-sex partner still has a social stigma attached to it, specially if you're in those circles.
Unknown User
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I so feel this post

trust in love oh yes

it is not the most glorious emotion when good

and the most devastating when done

I think that as we love we must truly SEE the person for what they are

not what we NEED them to be

and watch the actions not just the LOVE words of those we adore

but to live without love

would not be a life...now would it

love this post...

I truly loved what your wrote!