Plagued by thoughts of the same sex

17 Jan 2016

Its been a while since i last posted; and i think this may be the first time I've posted in this forum. Anyway, my current situation:
Have been in a relationship with my bf now for just about 3 years; before him i had other boyfriends, i had no doubt in my mind that i was straight as I've only ever really 'fancied' guys and had crushes on men. I have however always been curious of women and have always appreciated the beauty of the female form.
Recently I've found I've had more and more thoughts based around women; the only porn I've been watching over the last few months in particular have been lesbian and I'm starting to feel as though I'm missing something in my life. I guess you could say I'm bi-curious. The opportunity has never arose for me to explore my desires and with my being in a monogamous relationship its doubtful that i will get to see if i am any more than curious.
Anyway, my question is, have any of you guys realised you were bi/gay/straight whilst in a relationship? How did you handle it? Did you talk to your partner about it or were you scared of their reaction? Or perhaps you had similar thoughts, tried it out at the first opportunity and realised it was no more than a fantasy?
Let me know your story smile

17 Jan 2016

I've always known, going into a relationship, that where i stood - despite my somewhat misleading declaration of lesbian-hood here, i consider myself bi-sexual. now, the important part - when things got serious in a relationship, i sat down and had a conversation about it, about the possiblity of an open relationship as far as being with another woman from time to time. that's the key. if you plan on acting out on your feelings, you really need to discuss a lot of things with your current bf - and realize that he might be okay with the theory of it and not the reality of it. or he might want to be a part of it, which would probably be a better way to go about it - the two of you sharing another girl - of course, you'd need to be okay with that too - the idea of being him being with another girl while you were there. lots of things to consider, but mostly, as i said, honesty and discussion are key. smile

hope that helps.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

17 Jan 2016

I completely agree with Sprite.

As for what that makes you, and this is just my opinion and everyone should call themselves whatever they want of course, I'd say that if you have a yearning to have sex with a woman, instead of just taking the opportunity when it presents itself in a YOLO fashion, that you're probably bisexual and not just bi-curious. When you say you only watch lesbian porn lately, then I'd say that's the case.
Bi-curious as some kind of state of curious about but inexperienced, as some people see it, makes no sense to me. I consider myself bisexual even though I've never been with a man. But like I knew I was into women before I had even kissed one, I now know I'm into men as well even though I lack experience on that front.
What to call oneself may seem a silly play of semantics when you're struggling with your feelings. But for me, accepting I was bisexual, not just bi-curious, helped me get some grip on it.

Anyway, whatever you do or call yourself: good luck with it. I hope you get to explore that new side of you and that your boyfriend is supportive.

=== Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER ===

21 Nov 2018

I'm sort of in the same boat. I wouldn't say I'm plagued though. It just started with playful flirting with co-workers. It never much went beyond that, but I just got on here for fun. If you're just dating, then I don't see a reason to tell someone if you're not comfortable. I think some people go overboard with ideas on cheating. Dating is supposed to be fun. A time to explore.

22 Nov 2018

If the dating partner is important to you then you should definitely discuss your thoughts with them. Best case you get a pleasant surprise.

As for the rest of it, if you are to the point of watching exclusively lesbian porn and flirting with other women. Then I'd think you should deliberately seek opportunities to explore this. And labels are not important. Follow your heart.

10 Jan 2019

I'm happily married but I like to watch she male videos. Not gay ones, not that there is anything wrong with that. I like to watch what looks like a good looking woman with a nice cock jacking off. I have fantasies of putting my mouth on it and sucking it dry.

In the 80's I did have a best friend that we decided to explore each other. We did end up sucking each others cocks and exchanging cum. Before we were married my wife sort of caught us. She didn't see anything but heard me in the bedroom with him asking him to jack off and squirt his cum on my tongue. She told me the next day. I asked her if she was okay with it and she said, yes. I never told her about the few other times we hooked up but I'm sure she knew when he was in town and we went out for dinner it wasn't just for steak. He has since passed away.

I often eat my own cum after we have sex. Especially out of her pussy. She never minds me doing that so she knows I have "urges".

So fill out your fantasy weather you tell anyone or not the first time and then let it go from there with any relationship you might be in.