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New outlook on Cross dressing

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Im not quite sure if im reaching out for advice or i might just be venting due to confusion. Not too long ago, when it came to the subject of wearing female's clothing or being feminine, it wasnt something i got into. I never degraded cross dressing in any way or judged that lifestyle...but it was simply just not for me. But as of a little over a month ago, i became sexually involved with a guy that is a masculine top and is used to a straight-only orientation. Before we had hooked up for the first time, he requested something that caught me off guard. He asked me to wear sexy women's underwear, tight women's jeans, a girly shirt, he asked to get glue on fingernails and lastly, be as feminine and submissive as possible. I wasnt expecting that, but quickly understood the reasoning. He's never been with a guy and he wanted to feel as less gay as possible. He was respectful about it, cool and very sexy so i agreed to do the two things that opposed me at the time. Be feminine and submissive. 2 days after our meeting, i was getting ready to go over to his house so i followed through and uncomfortably transformed to the new feminine, submissive cock pleaser, Arianna. I even gave myself a female name for this guy. Anyways, i get there and he opens the door and just stares. I had tight pants on that showed off my legs, thighs and ass, pink lace boycutt shorts and had black tip nails. I was feminine as hell. He took complete control which was also new to me, but i just went with it and did what i was politely demanded to do.

He laid me on the bed and started taking my clothes off. When he took my pants off and slipped down my lace underwear, he gave off a giggle and sighed in relief. When i asked whats wrong he said he was nervous that my dick would be bigger than his but was relieved to see that i have a "clit" for a dick....when he said that its like the rest of my manhood got flushed. So thats good news for him cuz at that moment i felt like a female. He started making moves and dominating me. Usually during sex i moan quietly, but he had me screaming in a high pitch tone he's amazing at what he does. Shortly after he finished, he said that i did perfect playing the role of a woman and didnt get uncomfortable at
Honestly, I don't think this is in the right section. To me it is not a bdsm issue. Not every time someone is "dominant" and someone is "submissive" does it by default become a bdsm situation. There is a LOT more to it than that. In fact, almost EVERY relationship has an element of one being more dominant than the other at one point or another, in one situation or another. But that does not mean everyone is engaging in bdsm lifestyles or activities.

From what I read in your post, you didn't say anything that I have not seen written about crossdressing relationships and activities.... and it was not bdsm, IMO. It was simply a gay/bi male not wanting to lose what he thinks is is masculinity by being with anther man. That is not bdsm, even if he is "dominant".
Quote by JohnC
Honestly, I don't think this is in the right section. To me it is not a bdsm issue. Not every time someone is "dominant" and someone is "submissive" does it by default become a bdsm situation. There is a LOT more to it than that. In fact, almost EVERY relationship has an element of one being more dominant than the other at one point or another, in one situation or another. But that does not mean everyone is engaging in bdsm lifestyles or activities.

From what I read in your post, you didn't say anything that I have not seen written about crossdressing relationships and activities.... and it was not bdsm, IMO. It was simply a gay/bi male not wanting to lose what he thinks is is masculinity by being with anther man. That is not bdsm, even if he is "dominant".


Yeah i know that...i didnt mean to post it in there. Thats why its not even a complete post but i can't delete it and i couldn't cancel it quick enough. And my apologies if im just reading your post out of context, but it kind of seems like you were getting offensive that i posted the wrong thing in the wrong area. It was an accident.
Quote by Ezbaby22


Yeah i know that...i didnt mean to post it in there. Thats why its not even a complete post but i can't delete it and i couldn't cancel it quick enough. And my apologies if im just reading your post out of context, but it kind of seems like you were getting offensive that i posted the wrong thing in the wrong area. It was an accident.

Offensive? I read your post, and you used words that made me think you meant it to be here. You put emphasis on "dominant" and "submissive".

So with that said, I simply responded to the post you made in the forum section it was posted in. Agreed, if it was in the gay/bi section I probably would not have even responded at all. It seems perfectly normal for the topic it covers.... in a normal crossdressing relationship. But it was posted in the bdsm section (even if by accident) so that is how I addressed it.
Moved to the LGBT Thread

I must have missed the original post, however since I CD on a regular basis perhaps I can add something new. To start, like most crossdressers I started early around 11. But because of an initial, and subsequent, encounters with other people I learned that it was probably better to keep this part of myself well hidden. Throughout my teenage years I was content to just wear panties under my male clothes and occasionally dress up at home when I was sure to be alone. None of the heterosexual guys that I had sex with as a teen seemed to be put off or repulsed by my female attire but this may just have been because I gave such good head. I rarely had episodes of purging or feeling 'bad' about wearing feminine clothes or wearing makeup, although I kept it under wraps and rarely dressed up for a guy during this period (and then only after he had expressed an interest in seeing me look more female).

After reaching the age of 18 and starting my adult life, I subsumed this part of myself and played the alpha-male role that society had defined for me. And, as could be expected, I entered into quite a few heterosexual relationships that never lasted long and resulted in confusion on my part. I was a good lover and paid considerable attention to my female companions and yet as one remarked, "The reason why I can't be with you is that there always seems to be a part I can't touch, will never reach". At the time I couldn't figure what she meant, so I just let it pass. During these years (18-25.5), I had sporadic cross dressing episodes while intoxicated where, after ejaculation, I would purge all feminine articles and feel ashamed about my behavior.

The next period covers from age 26-35 and comes after my move to California. Now here I saw and met people who were not ashamed to be who they wanted to be, weren't afraid to be out in public 'dressed'. Still I was hesitant to display my fondness for female attire, those old stereotypes were still embedded upon my consciousness, I still felt constrained by that definition box society had put me into. And once again my tendencies were brought to the surface through various means of intoxication. This time I had little inhibition about dressing or wearing makeup and being seen publicly (though it raised some eyebrows at my job there were already a couple of CDs there) since there where many others like me in the public view. But once I sobered up or came down I would feel guilty, purge and then try to go on living a 'normal' life. This period culminated in arrest and eventually becoming clean ( I had already quit the booze at 29).

Years 36-43: Except for occasional spurts of 'undercover' dressing, I didn't cross dress or even date. I just worked my ass off and resumed college courses (at age 40) in pursuit of my degree. Life felt well and good, my job was much less hectic, my bank account swelled into the tens of thousands dollar range (after 5 years), I kept a 3.5 GPA, was a member of the Honor's club and inducted into PTK. All that within my first two years at community college, you would have thought I had the tiger by the tail and the world at my feet. But keeping one's self or a part thereof submerged, especially when it's due to fear or social stigma, is unhealthy and definitely harmful to the individual.

I will finish this post sometime this week, Must end here for now as sleep is overcoming me.
Love and Peace, Marie

M~LNs
From a girls point of view, I have absoultely NO problem with a guy that enjoys dressing as a female for sexual playtime.
i would strongly suggest that you don't try walking down the boulevard dressed like a girl, you might get the crap beaten out of you, it happens quite often, mostly by homophobic men that are afraid of their own "leanings" sexually.
In my experience, the more "masculine" a guys pretends to be, the easier it is to get him to dress like a girl. this is not conjecture, it is based on years of experiences.
Quite honestly, some guys with hard, tight bodies look great a "girls", especially if they are small in stature.
After all, it's not the clothes that makes the man, it's the man that makes the clothes!
"When its too kinky for everybody else, its just gettin' good for me."
(Kinky Freedman)
Quote by Lustyrose4u
From a girls point of view, I have absoultely NO problem with a guy that enjoys dressing as a female for sexual playtime.
i would strongly suggest that you don't try walking down the boulevard dressed like a girl, you might get the crap beaten out of you, it happens quite often, mostly by homophobic men that are afraid of their own "leanings" sexually.
In my experience, the more "masculine" a guys pretends to be, the easier it is to get him to dress like a girl. this is not conjecture, it is based on years of experiences.
Quite honestly, some guys with hard, tight bodies look great a "girls", especially if they are small in stature.
After all, it's not the clothes that makes the man, it's the man that makes the clothes!

Yeah...what she said. I agree, awesomely put smile
It's always nice to see honest, intelligent, understanding conversation on a topic like this.

Thank you all.
Marie - a very interesting post. I am 50 and have been a closet crossdresser for 40 years. I can SO identify with the purging even though I have never been intoxicated since I am allergic to alcohol. I have purged more times than I care to count. The embarrassment, shame and fear are hard to put into words. After all this time, I still struggle with thoughts, feelings, emotions and relationships.
It is as if I have a split personality where one is very non-compatible with the other. Very masculine features and a deep voice preclude me from ever 'passing' as female, combined with a mostly conservative political outlook, 'old fashioned' and being strictly heterosexual. The idea of homosexual or bisexual males is revolting to me, yet the idea of lesbian or bisexual females is actually a turn on. Perhaps it sounds like a cliche, but if I were born with a vagina instead of a penis, I would be lesbian. I have no desire to be female full time and could not be anyway since I do not know how to BE female. For me crossdressing is about the sexual feelings I get while doing it. I became addicted to it long ago. After ejaculation, the negatives mentioned above usually set in to one degree or another.
For as long as I can remember, I have been very eager to please. I do not argue well and try to avoid it when possible. I loathe being in leadership roles, though throughout my life I have been forced to assume them, even as a child.
I tend to fall in love easily, but sexual relationships are painful to me since I have been dropped like a rock every time as soon as my penchant for crossdressing has been revealed. As it is for many crossdressers I'm sure, having a lover with views like Lustyrose4u or lisad83 would be a dream come true. Alas, such ladies seem to be extremely rare and I have yet to meet one in real time. There are pretenders I have come across only to find out they are either addicted to drugs, and / or are only after the contents of my wallet, or for whatever reason seem to have a tough time getting laid. It tends to make one a little jaded.

Sorry for the rant, but thanks all who have taken the time to read.
driver
I have enjoyed crossdressing since I was 11 or 12. I first did it with a male friend at the time and have never stopped. My first wife said she was okay with it but as the years went by she became insistent that I stop.
We divorced and she brought it up during the divorce. I remarried and showed my current wife my crossdressing while we were dating. She tells me they are just clothes, clothes that I love!! We have had some great times with me dressed in my lingerie!!
Quote by garterbelt
I have enjoyed crossdressing since I was 11 or 12. I first did it with a male friend at the time and have never stopped. My first wife said she was okay with it but as the years went by she became insistent that I stop.
We divorced and she brought it up during the divorce. I remarried and showed my current wife my crossdressing while we were dating. She tells me they are just clothes, clothes that I love!! We have had some great times with me dressed in my lingerie!!


and your pictures are hot enough to make me want to CD...
Quote by garterbelt
I have enjoyed crossdressing since I was 11 or 12. I first did it with a male friend at the time and have never stopped. My first wife said she was okay with it but as the years went by she became insistent that I stop.
We divorced and she brought it up during the divorce. I remarried and showed my current wife my crossdressing while we were dating. She tells me they are just clothes, clothes that I love!! We have had some great times with me dressed in my lingerie!!


and your pictures are hot enough to make me want to CD...