A couple years ago my relationship hit a low point and started doing a lot of self-reflection. Realized I had a lot of weird toxic shame about my sexuality and a lot of misogynistic and hetero-normative ideas drilled in even if I didn't realize it. I had always made some gay jokes here and there, like "I'm not gay but for Idris Elba I could try."
So I sat down and really worked hard to use my base instincts on what was appealing. I tried hard to put out of my mind all the ideas of what I should be and focus on who I am. Long story short, I am gay for Idris Elba and a lot of other fellas too. Still love women, I'm more picky with the guys.