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Bisexuals: Turn Ons/Turn Offs

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Active Ink Slinger
I get frustrated with some of my friends at times --- well the ones who know I am bisexual. I think they don't fully understand and I appreciate that they try. But they get this idea that if you are willing to be with a guy then you will just be with any guy who is bisexual.

We'll be out and they'll say you ought to get with so and so, we hear he is bisexual too. But the guy will do nothing for me at all.

I am sure it is probably the same way for bisexual women too.

Just wondering what kinds of things turn you on when looking for either a same sex partner or even the opposite sex partner. Do you prefer that they be bi too? Or can they be totally gay or str8?

Personally for me I do like them gay or str8. I do appreciate the bisexual partner just because they can understand where I am coming from better.

As far as what I like and don't like. I guess I am not the average bisexual man -- at least according to the ones I have met mostly in real life and on the Internet.

I like all types and have dated and had sex with many who don't fit my normal turn-on, but typically I like more feminine women and more masculine men. Just typically when I want a woman I want a woman and vice versa. I don't mind them being dominant or submissive in that role.

For instance I get more turned on my a woman in a hot pair of women's panties or a thong than I would in a pair of men's boxers. And the same for a man in a woman's panties. I would get more of a rise seeing him in his briefs or boxers.

I have found many others on the extreme to be very beautiful and even sexy. And even found the ones I have been with to be great lovers, but they are not generally what turns me on.

I also have one big turn-on in both men and women. That is being open minded and willing to experience new things. Not just in the bedroom but in life in general. New foods, new experiences, etc. I just find that hot when a person is willing to experience new things with me. At least willing to give something new a try.

Oh and edited to add -- individuality is a big turn on too. Someone who doesn't have to be cookie cutter like the rest. That is hot to me.

And I have to say I do love hair and I guess that is part of being an individual too. I don't want wild and bushy, but someone who keeps themselves well groomed esp. in their genital area. Esp. men these days who buck the norm and don some hair on their chest. That man really sticks out to me. I really love a wonderful landing strip on a female...neat and tidy. Or the same on a guy esp. if it has a nice happy trail that starts at his belly button and goes down.

So what about you?
Active Ink Slinger
I guess I can only speak from my experience and that is as a guy who was "straight" until I was about 27 or 28. Since then I've had a total of three partners, two of which I still hook up with (one for almost ten years, the other for almost 20). I'm happily married and one of my partners was the best man at my wedding.

So I guess for me, I'm not out there looking for people to hook up with. I'm open to the opportunity of having a male friend who becomes a FWB. In a perfect world, I'd hook up every month or two with one of my male partners, but instead it tends to be a trip to Vegas every couple of years, a camping trip every summer, a trip to the Lake on his boat or a visit while one of our wives is out of town. Maybe 2-3 times a year.

What turns me on is the sex, duh! What I don't like is anything that could shatter the illusion to the world that I'm a straight married guy with a professional career and good standing in my community. I also don't like kissing dudes. At all. Not even a little bit. Do I think some of that could be internalized homophobia? Yep, sure could be, but it's a pretty strong sense of distaste for the act, whereas I love reaching down a pair of briefs and grabbing a hard cock, pulling it out and dropping to my knees to suck it... which definitely seems more gay than kissing.OB4ANWlLxCGZSCOV

As for panties vs. boxers, I've never had a partner dress the roll, but it would definitely turn me on. I've fantasized about dressing up and playing the chick role, too, but it's never happened. I like taking a strap-on, but while I've done the whole role playing thing before, now I just want my wife to fuck me and she feels no compunction to degrade me in the process. It's just what we do when she's on her rag week and I'm horny.

I'd also consider myself a Kinsey 1.5-2. I've only met one 3 in my life and after a 20 year marriage, he's now dating a gay man (Kinsey 6, but very straight appearing). That will never be me. I love women and I've always had a closer connection to them. While I have great male friends, the intimacy just isn't there like it is with a woman. Thus, the one other factor comes in. A bi guy is always going to have his head turn when a pretty girl walks by and that alone is pretty cool. I like being able to talk to my partners about what I enjoy with my wife, what they enjoy with their wives, and not have that be a touchy issue.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by CliffordAClavin

What turns me on is the sex, duh! What I don't like is anything that could shatter the illusion to the world that I'm a straight married guy with a professional career and good standing in my community. I also don't like kissing dudes. At all. Not even a little bit. Do I think some of that could be internalized homophobia? Yep, sure could be, but it's a pretty strong sense of distaste for the act, whereas I love reaching down a pair of briefs and grabbing a hard cock, pulling it out and dropping to my knees to suck it... which definitely seems more gay than kissing.F9nNCxOT1OEIxuZX

As for panties vs. boxers, I've never had a partner dress the roll, but it would definitely turn me on. I've fantasized about dressing up and playing the chick role, too, but it's never happened. I like taking a strap-on, but while I've done the whole role playing thing before, now I just want my wife to fuck me and she feels no compunction to degrade me in the process. It's just what we do when she's on her rag week and I'm horny.

I'd also consider myself a Kinsey 1.5-2. I've only met one 3 in my life and after a 20 year marriage, he's now dating a gay man (Kinsey 6, but very straight appearing). That will never be me. I love women and I've always had a closer connection to them. While I have great male friends, the intimacy just isn't there like it is with a woman. Thus, the one other factor comes in. A bi guy is always going to have his head turn when a pretty girl walks by and that alone is pretty cool. I like being able to talk to my partners about what I enjoy with my wife, what they enjoy with their wives, and not have that be a touchy issue.


HBIB this is why I hate these threads, they just drag me in and I upset people!
I won't comment but you're right in one part of your post, I'll leave it at that.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by HotBttmInBriefs
I get frustrated with some of my friends at times --- well the ones who know I am bisexual. I think they don't fully understand and I appreciate that they try. But they get this idea that if you are willing to be with a guy then you will just be with any guy who is bisexual.

We'll be out and they'll say you ought to get with so and so, we hear he is bisexual too. But the guy will do nothing for me at all.

I am sure it is probably the same way for bisexual women too.

Just wondering what kinds of things turn you on when looking for either a same sex partner or even the opposite sex partner. Do you prefer that they be bi too? Or can they be totally gay or str8?

Personally for me I do like them gay or str8. I do appreciate the bisexual partner just because they can understand where I am coming from better.

As far as what I like and don't like. I guess I am not the average bisexual man -- at least according to the ones I have met mostly in real life and on the Internet.

I like all types and have dated and had sex with many who don't fit my normal turn-on, but typically I like more feminine women and more masculine men. Just typically when I want a woman I want a woman and vice versa. I don't mind them being dominant or submissive in that role.

For instance I get more turned on my a woman in a hot pair of women's panties or a thong than I would in a pair of men's boxers. And the same for a man in a woman's panties. I would get more of a rise seeing him in his briefs or boxers.

I have found many others on the extreme to be very beautiful and even sexy. And even found the ones I have been with to be great lovers, but they are not generally what turns me on.

I also have one big turn-on in both men and women. That is being open minded and willing to experience new things. Not just in the bedroom but in life in general. New foods, new experiences, etc. I just find that hot when a person is willing to experience new things with me. At least willing to give something new a try.

Oh and edited to add -- individuality is a big turn on too. Someone who doesn't have to be cookie cutter like the rest. That is hot to me.

And I have to say I do love hair and I guess that is part of being an individual too. I don't want wild and bushy, but someone who keeps themselves well groomed esp. in their genital area. Esp. men these days who buck the norm and don some hair on their chest. That man really sticks out to me. I really love a wonderful landing strip on a female...neat and tidy. Or the same on a guy esp. if it has a nice happy trail that starts at his belly button and goes down.

So what about you?

I'm like a hungry trout, always rising to the bait! I know that I upset people but I get so frustrated!
As far as the thread goes the same thing happens with gays, maybe even moreso. People automatically think that because you're gay you'll find every other gay guy attractive. As you know it doesn't work like that!
For me they've got to be masculine and hairy chests with the treasure trail is a bonus. The jackpot is a slightly hairy butt, there's nothing like peeling a pair of tight whites off and finding a peach like ass. That's heaven for me!
Like HotBttminBriefs, I like men masculine and women feminine. When I finally get with a guy, I want him in a suit and tie (okay, maybe business casual since that's how I dress) with a big, hairy body and tight little briefs underneath, not in a dress and panties. Hair where it belongs is a big thing for me.

Personality-wise, I like smart, funny people of either sex. Someone I can enjoy a good conversation with. Imagination and curiosity are important, too, since those are things I value in myself. I want more fantasy in my sex life (present partner is not big on imagination) so an active, horny imagination would be especially arousing.

I don't this I would be too fussy about their orientation. Obviously, in an MMF threesome or something, having the other guy be bi would be a good thing, but for just guy-on-guy, I could go with bi or gay though I will confess that the wildly out, flamboyant school of being gay is a turnoff for me, so it would have to be someone more moderate and modest, rather like me.
Lurker
Whether you are straight, gay ,lesbian or bi sexual. Why would anyone have sex with someone that they have no attraction . As far as the rest of it. Everyone has their differences.
If you can only fall in love with women but like to have sex with men, then that puts you in a very large category. But there are guys that can fall in love with either gender. Same goes with women.
Anyone that tries to place all bi-sexuals , gays or lesbians into a nice neat little box is immature. The reason they like to have everything in a nice neat little box is because their mind cannot perceive the larger truth. Everything must be laid out in black and white for them. The light is on or off, no such thing as a dimmer switch.
You have to live your life your way, and let others live their lives accordingly.
Turn one and turn offs. Its all personal preference when it comes to hair or not. Or any other styles.
Actions and styles are many. Find what suits you or learn to deal with it.

Said probably too much , so I'll stop
Active Ink Slinger
Bi-sex is definitely a turn on for me. When you are with a "person"...enjoying sex, why would you care if it's the same sex as you. It's the pleasure that counts. I've made love to a lot of women and also to many men. I receive and give pleasure to both sexes.
Lurker
For me, it is about the attraction. As bi guy, I'm not attracted to every male but when I know there is a mutual attraction, I know it will be a no holds barred so to speak. I've been surprised on several occasions to learn someone was bi and actually had the same thoughts of how to enjoy the other. Biggest turn on is being with someone who wants to enjoy their first time. Hmmm. Turn Offs are those who just don't care about cleanliness. There is one thing about "heat of the moment" but more said for knowing that someone cared enough to want to be enjoyed. With women, cleanliness is the key…nothing worse than dirty bits, so to speak. } ;)
Rookie Scribe
I'm just coming into my bisexuality. In the last year, I find myself looking at guys and wondering if they are gay/bi, and what their abs look like. While I don't have the best abs, I'm working on mine. I also think about the size of their dicks.

I tend to like 24ish year old guys, usually dark hair, no facial hair, and straight acting.
Lurker
i tend to love guys that are well built but not total gym junkie. i like seeing the bulge of a guys cock in a pair of sexy male gstrings don't mind a bit of chest hair either
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by HotBttmInBriefs
I get frustrated with some of my friends at times --- well the ones who know I am bisexual. I think they don't fully understand and I appreciate that they try. But they get this idea that if you are willing to be with a guy then you will just be with any guy who is bisexual.

We'll be out and they'll say you ought to get with so and so, we hear he is bisexual too. But the guy will do nothing for me at all.

I am sure it is probably the same way for bisexual women too.

Just wondering what kinds of things turn you on when looking for either a same sex partner or even the opposite sex partner. Do you prefer that they be bi too? Or can they be totally gay or str8?

Personally for me I do like them gay or str8. I do appreciate the bisexual partner just because they can understand where I am coming from better.

As far as what I like and don't like. I guess I am not the average bisexual man -- at least according to the ones I have met mostly in real life and on the Internet.

I like all types and have dated and had sex with many who don't fit my normal turn-on, but typically I like more feminine women and more masculine men. Just typically when I want a woman I want a woman and vice versa. I don't mind them being dominant or submissive in that role.

For instance I get more turned on my a woman in a hot pair of women's panties or a thong than I would in a pair of men's boxers. And the same for a man in a woman's panties. I would get more of a rise seeing him in his briefs or boxers.

I have found many others on the extreme to be very beautiful and even sexy. And even found the ones I have been with to be great lovers, but they are not generally what turns me on.

I also have one big turn-on in both men and women. That is being open minded and willing to experience new things. Not just in the bedroom but in life in general. New foods, new experiences, etc. I just find that hot when a person is willing to experience new things with me. At least willing to give something new a try.

Oh and edited to add -- individuality is a big turn on too. Someone who doesn't have to be cookie cutter like the rest. That is hot to me.

And I have to say I do love hair and I guess that is part of being an individual too. I don't want wild and bushy, but someone who keeps themselves well groomed esp. in their genital area. Esp. men these days who buck the norm and don some hair on their chest. That man really sticks out to me. I really love a wonderful landing strip on a female...neat and tidy. Or the same on a guy esp. if it has a nice happy trail that starts at his belly button and goes down.

So what about you?


Wow I thought I was messed up. OK the first mistake you made was letting your friends know about your sexual preferences. If you haven't figured it out yet,Bi is the worse thing you can be.The straits don't like you and in their mind (most of them anyway) your Gay. On the other hand. Many Gay men are repulsed that you have been with a woman. If you meet someone your interested in, just let them know it and avoid discussing the rest of it.I can relate to the preference part of your post.Myself I don't find men that attractive. I have been with gay men and they just don't do it for me.But T Girls really get my motor running.Thats just my preference.And Women are great if you can find one thats not clingy. (Good luck finding that) All in all your better off spending as little time as you can talking about yourself , And as much as you can finding out about them.XjntSDIrdHfPp1zp
Quote by HotBttmInBriefs
I get frustrated with some of my friends at times --- well the ones who know I am bisexual. I think they don't fully understand and I appreciate that they try. But they get this idea that if you are willing to be with a guy then you will just be with any guy who is bisexual.

We'll be out and they'll say you ought to get with so and so, we hear he is bisexual too. But the guy will do nothing for me at all.

I am sure it is probably the same way for bisexual women too.

Just wondering what kinds of things turn you on when looking for either a same sex partner or even the opposite sex partner. Do you prefer that they be bi too? Or can they be totally gay or str8?

Personally for me I do like them gay or str8. I do appreciate the bisexual partner just because they can understand where I am coming from better.

As far as what I like and don't like. I guess I am not the average bisexual man -- at least according to the ones I have met mostly in real life and on the Internet.

I like all types and have dated and had sex with many who don't fit my normal turn-on, but typically I like more feminine women and more masculine men. Just typically when I want a woman I want a woman and vice versa. I don't mind them being dominant or submissive in that role.

For instance I get more turned on my a woman in a hot pair of women's panties or a thong than I would in a pair of men's boxers. And the same for a man in a woman's panties. I would get more of a rise seeing him in his briefs or boxers.

I have found many others on the extreme to be very beautiful and even sexy. And even found the ones I have been with to be great lovers, but they are not generally what turns me on.

I also have one big turn-on in both men and women. That is being open minded and willing to experience new things. Not just in the bedroom but in life in general. New foods, new experiences, etc. I just find that hot when a person is willing to experience new things with me. At least willing to give something new a try.

Oh and edited to add -- individuality is a big turn on too. Someone who doesn't have to be cookie cutter like the rest. That is hot to me.

And I have to say I do love hair and I guess that is part of being an individual too. I don't want wild and bushy, but someone who keeps themselves well groomed esp. in their genital area. Esp. men these days who buck the norm and don some hair on their chest. That man really sticks out to me. I really love a wonderful landing strip on a female...neat and tidy. Or the same on a guy esp. if it has a nice happy trail that starts at his belly button and goes down.

So what about you?


I'll bite too. I am bisexual. I've been with solely men and solely women too. I've not had a relationship with a man though. Now, my preference is to play as a threesome with my gf, either with guy or a girl. The ultimate for us is another bi couple to play with. Having sex with just another guy and without my gf around is not on the cards. Even if I was single, 1-on-1 sex with another guy still wouldn't float my boat. That's me and if other people cannot understand that, essentially that is their problem to worry about.

In the 20+ years I've known I'm bisexual, I've kept it from friends. I lost a very dear friend many years ago because they couldn't handle it so only a small number of people know, people we have met for the purposes of having sex with them. We have a small group of friends that we have played with and still do.

In effect, we have two lives, our 'lifestyle' (for want of a better word) is a part of our life. Our friends outside of that simply don't know and we find keeping this arrangement is very easy. We know gay guys, lesbians, transexuals and other bisexuals, only very rarely have we come up against anyone who "doesn't trust a bisexual'. Honestly, we find that many non-scene types are just not like that. Being honest, we do avoid the wear-it-on-your-sleeve types as they do seem to exhibit these traits. A person's sexuality is important but it is not the only reason for a person to exist.

As for what is right and wrong, the politics of sexuality are a massive turn-off for me. I've deliberately avoided anyone judgemental, it just gets in the way and trying to hyper-contextualise just makes me switch off.

My current gf is fully aware and she knew from the offset, it was part of the deal and she was honest enough to admit to being bisexual too. We met on a dating website that was comfortable with all sexualities and it just made it so much easier.

We've been together several years now and had a lot of fun with single girls, guys and bi couples too. It's a part of us and we don't go running off to play behind each other's backs, we don't encourage that in others too. When I first knew I was bisexual, I told my current gf and she couldn't handle it. Yes, it was tough and it took a few attempts to pluck up the courage with the next gf and the next. In the end, it got easy enough to just come out with it fairly early on before we got to business so to speak.

There are no hard and fast rules with this, I've had straight gfs that really got off on bi men and bi (and curious) gfs that didn't like bi guys. I learned to value upfront honesty a lot more.

As for finding guys attractive 'just because they are bi too', turn that round to someone heterosexual? Do they find the opposite sex attractive 'just because they are straight' No, it doesn't work either, does it?

As for a preference, I prefer a total lack of hair and in reasonable shape, that is my type. We're both smoothies too and like the same (but trimmed is fine too) masses of hair just don't work for us. For a few years now, we've decamped to the naturist beaches of Southern France (Cap D'agde) where being bare is completely acceptable. We have bi friends there so for a few months, we chill, play and enjoy life.

We've played with people in their 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s. Personality counts, we are very easy going and we like the same in others. We are not hardened to experience and for us it's completely natural. We overcame our own nerves at first because of people just like that and we are the same with others. I'm 'versatile' so tend to prefer guys that are the same but if there's only oral on offer - that's cool as the gf is very adept with a strap-on.

In the end that is what it is about. Over analysing things, holding people in judgement of what they do is right or wrong just gets in the way. Live and let live is our motto, that is all we expect from others too.

I'm bi, easygoing, prefer relationships with women yet am partial to a nice hard cock in my arse. So what is my attitude.