"Procrastination is the thief of time", so they say!
Why does a bi curious man or woman wait so long to take the plunge?
I always thought that I was gay and apart from a disastrous night with a girl at 18 I only had sex with guys. When I went to uni I wasn't really out but I also wanted to know if I was certain I was gay so I slept with girls and even had 2 year relationships with a couple. After that I knew that I prefered guys but I was glad that I'd tried and enjoyed straight sex.
So what makes people wait, is it inhibitions, a lack of opportunity or something else. Why wait until it's possibly too late, nobody wants to die curious.
I think that depends on the person, where they live, etc. It could be any number of reasons from cultural to personal. I think also it differs between men and women. I think it is still more acceptable (even on a personal level) for a woman to be bi-curious and then bi, then it is for a man. I think that society (and thus individuals) tend to think it is more acceptable for a woman to be broader (no pun intended) in where they fit in the sexualy scale than it is for men. I also think that for most men, the opportunities for a male/male encounter are far less than what women are presented with because of many factors as well. I could be wrong though, it is just what I think happens (or does not happen).
As a personal note. I spent all my life up until the age of 14 straight with no questions asked. However, my personality had always been questioned by others-even myself. Whilst much of the time I could seem very male in my hobbies, interests, activities, actions and thoughts about the world I often wanted to do more. I slowly became a big fan of clothes shopping, but, at the age of 15 when it started to kick off massively, I felt like I often knew nothing about clothing, what was cool, what was the best, who made what and what brands were good. This led to mistakes... Mistakes that often meant I ended up unknowingly selecting girl's attire that I thought passed of easily as male clothing with a slightly more feminine touch to it. Because of this, my sexuality was automatically pressured by my peers and soon after I had become Bisexual (cutting a long story short).
I'm not saying it was because of my choice in clothing that I became Bisexual, however-Because of the life I had leading up to the decision, I think this may have had a impact of what happened to me and the decisions I made. About now in my life and now I'm far more comfortable with it, I do cross dress and have found a unique talent for it. I'm not talking Saturday night bob down the pub who's found a green wig and some blusher. No. I say this with quite the big head, but I've always had a amazingly girly figure. My hips are thins, legs small, frame petite and overall complexion a lot higher quality and my height has never really been anything of an 'american basketball player'. Because of all of this (and time set aside working to get myself looking good) I can easily fool people and regularly do. In my late highschool years, my own friends failed to recognize me and it was only once I spoke I was able to give myself away.
It's a little big of a tangent yes, but I think what I'm trying to say is: Depending on how you live your life and the events that impact of you socially, I believe this can have a massive effect if any on how you turn out. Some people just have a harder time exepting it maybe? :'L
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Not everyone is the same. Some things are easier said than done. It takes a lot to get over one's inhibitions. And sexuality isn't something to be taken lightly. All sexual experiences have the ability to impact you for the rest of your life.
When you're out and proud, it's easy to say, "Just go for it! Get it over with already." But it's not that simple.
Some people don't want to have these feelings and try to suppress them. Is that healthy? Of course not. But neither is pushing someone into something that they're not mentally or emotionally ready for.
And this doesn't apply to just homosexuality or bisexuality. It applies to sexuality in general.
Everyone experiences sexuality differently and in their own time. And things usually happen when they're meant to happen.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
I think so many factors can play a part. Many that have already been listed.
I would have probably been longer if circumstances didn't just fall into place one day (well with a little help from the guy). Due to the area we lived in, my shyness at the time, etc. I would have never made the effort on my own. I would have just sat back.
Later I got married. And I was raised that cheating was wrong. So for the five years we were married other than my fantasies I was faithful to her. Yes I was still curious about the other side, but if I was still married today I would have still just been curious about that part of my life.
It is weird when I think about it, because I was raised and taught that sex outside of marriage was wrong too. I never have followed that one. LOL But the part of fidelity and cheating in marriage stuck.
First, how does one know what one's sexuality is? At a young age I found myself to have a clear need to masturbate and started when I was six or so. I'm 74 and looking back that far reveals only vague shadowy images. But masturbate I did! I think we intuitively know that if we are having that much fun , we should probably keep it to ourselves. One reads of households where everyone is running around bare-ass and all is out and accepted. I think most of us might be struck by lightning twice in the same spot before that happens for us. Anyway, you start to grow up and do a little exploring with a buddy or two. Still, this is driven by curiosity with no real distinction that jerking off together or touching each other is really more than trying to figure things out. At ten or twelve this seems to be acceptable, at least for me. When does the distinction begin? I suppose each of us has a different answer, based on one's own experience or what you have been told are the limits of conduct. I remember being on a bus, waiting to leave a boy's summer camp and overhearing two older lads commenting that one of the councilors liked boys. They said it matter-of-factly and so I reacted passively as well. It did not seem to be a threat, just the admission of fact. Seeing other boys in the shower room at school never was stimulating. It did reveal to me the wide variety in boy's body shapes and cock sizes. Again, no hardons from seeing this. Maybe we all knew that was forbidden, I can't say now after so many years. In high school my neighborhood fellow schoolmate was deemed to be gay. No one ever did more than use this unsubstantiated information as a source for bad jokes about him. The worst event in my youth was the dentist and his family who lived next door had to leave town...pick up and move, because he was caught giving head to a kid in his dentists chair. Rumor had it that my school mate across the street was the other half of this scenario. What with the local dentist moving out , no peer of mine was risking talking about it..at least I never heard anything. Very hush hush and looking back very upsetting to all due to a breach of conduct that the community would not overlook. Talk about hardball! I don't know how this would have played out today. There are still many people who enjoy adhering [at least publicly] to a high and mighty standard and are quick, like a viper, to attack anyone who 'strays'. This of course raises the question of straying doesn't it? We know that the easiest way to keep them is line is a firm grip on their balls. We are social creatures, this talent has allowed us to survive as a specie and when things calm down, set about to kill off each other over ideas that both sides agree justify the mayhem. We then heap laurels at the feet of the survivors. This is all acceptable behavior , but if you pull your cock out in public you will soon know that what you have done goes against God's words...WOW Are we fucked up or what?
