My girlfriend keeps saying that she needs to workout and that she notice she has added a few pounds. I am fine with her body but when she keeps saying I need to workout. How do I help support her without looking like I only care about how she looks
Thank you for any advice
Tell her the truth. If she needs to lose a few pounds, tell her. If she just needs a firm up tell her that. Like Sprite said, be willing to go to the gym with her. She should also be able to tell you if your stomach is getting too soft and you need to tighten that thing up. If she's going took look good, you should make sure you do also. A few less beers might help.
And while we're at it, is she tries on some clothes and asks, "Does this make me look fat?" and it does, don't be afraid to tell her the truth. But say it tactfully. "That is not flattering of your physique, don't get it." Or "Like the camera, that adds pounds to your look." If she already own it, tell her it doesn't flatter her and to give it to Goodwill or sell it at the consignment shop. If she says she knows she used to look good in it, well... then offer to go to the gym with her.
A sensible approach to exercise and diet is what is needed.
Here's the thing... some women like to talk (often) about how they need to work out, they're feeling fat etc - even though nobody can tell the difference and they still look great. Sometimes this is meant to elicit praise - ie. no, you look amazing, you're so skinny etc. You'll see women do this more with female friends, but sometimes with their guys as well. If we're talking the difference of literally a couple of pounds, actually confirming that you see this extra weight on her *may* backfire on you and she'll end up upset or paranoid about it going forward. Depending on how sensitive she is to her weight, that might result in lights-out sex, more emotional eating, being self-conscious, lowered self esteem, latent resentment etc.
So... it really depends on what type of girl she is. If she's very health conscious and usually works out a lot and likes to stay active, she'll probably react more like Buz's take on it. She'll see it as a matter-of-fact assessment and and get to solving the problem by stepping up her workouts, curbing calories etc. without feeling all doom and gloom about it.
If she's not someone who regularly works out or counts calories or who - in any way - is sensitive about her weight, or has been a yo-yo dieter in the past - I'd tread lightly. Maybe just say that she looks great to you but you've been meaning to get more active as well, so turn it into something you can do together. Or do one of those New Year's resolutions pacts. If you like her body with more curves, make sure she knows that and still feels sexy and wanted - but support her fitness goals in positive ways and help her take the pound off in a healthy way.
This is a tricky one. A lot of my women friends would talk critically about their bodies almost by reflex (sort of "I have a body therefore I must worry about it") and don't actually realise how much they repeat that they must lose a few pounds/get fit etc. Over the years I have noticed that the female friends who are genuinely concerned about their weight/fitness tend to get on and do something about it. So your g/f could just be complaining about her body without realising she's doing it or, us women being complicated creatures, she could be unhappy about something else entirely and just taking that out on her body image.
There's great suggestions here, and the idea of working out together sounds very supportive and positive; as long as you are very reassuring that you like her the way she is anyway.
And Buz love, you are either a very brave man or you have a death wish!!! ;)
Thanks for the feedback. I will see if we cane workout together when our schedules line up. Plus I can cook more healthy meals with her.
It's ok not to be brutally honest about this! Just offer to workout with her and then follow through.
