Recreational Drugs

1 Apr 2015

What are your experiences with recreational drugs?

Do you enjoy smoking a joint in the evenings, or do you take something a bit stronger? Had any bad trips? Had any life changing experiences? Ever tripped out on magic mushrooms and pretended you were a huge butterfly?

Willing to share? (A story, not your stash.)

@Lizerotica

1 Apr 2015

It is nice to partake of some weed every now and then. Nice and relaxing. Its nice to have sex when you're stoned.

1 Apr 2015

Being Dutch, I tried a lot of that stuff when I was younger. Did mushrooms once, worst experience ever! What a bad trip.
Nowadays I occasionally smoke some weed. Some times I also use some speed (amphetamine). I have ADD so my brain relaxes from it which is very nice. Disadvantage is that your penis shrinks up from it like you are 10 years old again.

1 Apr 2015

I did weed in college when my friends were passing it around, but it mostly just made me sleepy. I was addicted to barbiturates as a teen, and it took so much will-power to get off that stuff, that I vowed never to let myself be addicted to any kind of drug ever again, so I haven't experimented with anything stronger than pot. My cousin lost his sight in one eye from a bad LSD trip, so I've never wanted to try anything that might mess me up. Sex is the only drug I'm hopelessly addicted to now.

1 Apr 2015

Quote by Saintz
Being Dutch, I tried a lot of that stuff when I was younger. Did mushrooms once, worst experience ever! What a bad trip.
Nowadays I occasionally smoke some weed. Some times I also use some speed (amphetamine). I have ADD so my brain relaxes from it which is very nice. Disadvantage is that your penis shrinks up from it like you are 10 years old again.

only bad trip i've ever had was on mushrooms. as for experiences, i occasionally still smoke pot. back when i was a bit younger i dropped a lot of mdma and lsd. now, it's rare, though i still enjoy it on the occasions that i do. not a fan of coke or meth or horse or prescription drugs. i don't have a penis, so shrinkage is never an issue. biggrin

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

2 Apr 2015

Recreational

I already take each day 7 separate medication for high blood pressure, lowering my cholesterol, thinning my bloody and other heart regulating shit.

WHY In God's name would I want to take any more just for FUN FUCK ME! sheepholy

To boldly Lush where no one has Lushed before

2 Apr 2015

Where I grew up drugs were easily accessible and prevalent. Other than crack and heroin, I tried pretty much everything.

Cocaine is the king of drugs. You could conquer the world on that stuff. Trouble is, it's far too expensive and the buzz is short-lived. It will leave you feeling irritable, craving more and unsatisfied. At £60 for 0.8 of a gram, you've gotta be filthy rich to really indulge the pleasures of the sniff.

Amphetamine (whizz or speed) is the poor man's cocaine. The buzz is very similar but lasts longer with worse come-down effects. You don't eat or sleep for days and find yourself drinking and smoking weed just to take the edge of the come-down. It will make you lose weight rapidly but, at £10 a gram, is a cheaper alternative to cocaine.

My drug of choice was ecstasy (MDMA). For me, it didn't act as a stimulant, but rather an intense euphoric buzz that led to a numb semi-consciousness. It's cheap and cheerful and better than any orgasm I've ever had. Unfortunately, with your eyes rolling around in the back of your head and your jaw juddering, it's not a drug you can go out and chat the ladies up on.

But that was all many years ago and I've left that life behind now. I've left the big city and now live out in the suburbs, bringing up my daughter. My recreational time is now spent in the gym or reading a book. I still drink and smoke the occasional doobie when I'm out with friends, but I am now, officially, a boring bastard. But we've all gotta grow up and crack on with our lives at some point. Haven't we?

2 Apr 2015

Magic mushrooms are fucking crazy and me and a few mates had a very bad experience on them. Now shrooms were not made illegal in the UK until 2005, which meant you could buy them online and have them delivered to your door. A friend of mine had a grow kit and used to grow them in his bedroom wardrobe. Eating fungus that has grown in your mate's bedroom isn't the most appealing thing, but that's the sort of thing you do when you're young.

After growing bored of my mate's homegrown stash, me and four of my friends decided to all chip-in a bit of money and bought over £150 worth of shrooms from a site called Legal Highs. Friday night came around and all five of us piled into my mate's house, ripped open the bag and sat around laughing and joking and eating mushrooms as though they were sweets and washing them down with lager.

45 minutes later we had consumed pretty much the entire bag...and then the fucking things kicked in. To start with, it was the usual psychedelic buzz: everything went wavy and I felt like I was in a daze; the colours around me went bright and more defined and everything seemed like it was standing out and right up in my face. Then the hallucinations kicked-in and we all started laughing.

But this was no ordinary laugher; this was a fit of uncontrollable hysteria. The laugher was so persistent and so intense that it didn't let up long enough for us breathe in enough air. We found ourselves rolling on the floor caught up in a fit of hysterics, going purple in the face and gasping for air. We were becoming so deprived of oxygen that we actually felt ourselves blacking out at one point. We started panicking and, in the midst of raucous laughter, started turning on each other; punching each other in the arms and legs and gasping things like "Stop laughing. You're making me laugh and I can't fucking breathe".

Now this went on for the better part of three hours. When we woke up the next day, we were in agony; we had laughed so hard and for so long that we had pulled all the muscles in our chest and stomach. It was so painful we couldn't even get out of bed. Not to mention being badly bruised from punching each other in a fit of panic. We were in a right sorry state the next day. We also suffered two days of severe depression.

Needless to say, we never touched shrooms again. We should've taken note of the recommended dosage information on the packet and not eaten them like sweets, but, unfortunately, we weren't that clever.

2 Apr 2015

I have never ever smoked a cigarette - let alone anything else.
The only pill that passes my lips is that one and only that stops me getting pregnant.

3 Apr 2015

I tried every drug known to mankind that I could get my hands on in college. Didn't enjoy pills or speedy drugs (HATED cocaine), but was quite fond of the hallucinogens: weed, mushrooms, LSD. Other than weed, haven't done any of that for decades.

Weed is legal here, and I still smoke it occasionally, after the kids have gone to bed, but they know I smoke it. We treat it as no different than alcohol: it's dangerous, it affects your judgement, it affects your brain development, it's illegal for minors, you can't try it til you are 21. Then it's your choice.

Frankly, if I could choose, I'd rather they experiment with weed than alcohol.

3 Apr 2015

I've tried many recreational drugs, to varying degrees. I spent a lot of my harder partying days playing with ecstasy, MDMA and cocaine... typically dancing through the night, past dawn, into the next afternoon at various Afterhours clubs. Did the EDM scene quite a bit. I've tried GHB a few times - which I liked to a certain degree, although it's so easy to overdo it and the consequences are being out cold for about 4 hrs - very dangerous. I've seen many people 'G-out' so I was exceptionally cautious. I've tried 'K' twice (not my thing, and really only a bump at that). I've had magic mushroom tea (fun yet still fairly mild) and of course - weed - like most people, although I was never really a heavy user.

The only thing I do now is take a few tokes of weed now and then. I've given all the rest up. I don't regret it, but it was just around too often and became too much a part of the social scene I was on. I can't say I was ever chemically addicted, but there was an element of it slowly becoming an overly regular thing (especially the coke).

Did I have fun? Ohhh yeah. Ecstasy and cocaine were definitely my drugs of choice. The rush, the energy, the the way you can be totally vulnerable with complete strangers, the long non-stop weekend parties. Some of those conversations were pure therapy, others were purely fun. The sex was always off the hook. Every experience was like a little adventure - I've had too many crazy stories to recount (should've kept a drug journal! lol). There were musicians, celebs, hardcore gangsters and criminals, models, multi-millionaire CEOs, strippers, meatheads, and of course - the requisite sketchballs.

I was always more into the uppers than downers. I actually don't like the feeling of not being in control or being 'out of it' and I was also mildly paranoid about hallucinogens, which is why I avoided LSD/acid or any of the harder stuff. I always preferred feeling like me - but just a more euphoric version of me.

Have I had bad trips? Yeah,.. maybe a couple. More so that the effects where stronger than I wanted them to be, so until they levelled out, I wasn't totally comfortable. I did have a bad trip on weed once - I was convinced the balcony of the apartment I was in was destined to break off that night and smash onto the street below, so I was scared to go near it. I wanted to be on ground level but I was convinced the elevators were rigged to suffer the same fate. I sort of just sat in one place for hours, not speaking to anyone and just totally tripping out inside my own head. I've never had anything like that happen before or since.

I did have an experience once where I was basically going in and out of a black-out at a huge club party but unfortunately this was the result of a 'friend' having put something in my drink without my knowledge or consent. That was by far the scariest experience I've ever had on that whole scene. That can happen anywhere though - and sometimes it's difficult to know who you can trust and who isn't just an acquaintance that can turn predatory on a dime.

Recreational drug use is a fine line to walk. But alcohol is a drug too. So are prescription pills. Quite honestly, of the people I've seen go downhill - it's been about the alcohol/pills. No 'evil' drug dealers lurking in the wings... just liberal prescription-heavy doctors and your local liquor store.

3 Apr 2015

I was in my 20's and tried pot but it made giggle and sleepy, also tried coke once and it was a horrible experience, never did anything again.

3 Apr 2015

Closest thing is second hand smoke from a good ole' fashioned weed bar in the Netherlands.

I'm too much of a health freak for it. I have one great fear. Dying from the inside out and no, not from old age. Either from shit you put into your body, or shit that finds it's way into your body.

I figured, my one shot to really try was when I was in Europe on a study abroad. Didn't happen. Though I did have a roommate in Leiden who smoke a "White Widow." Pretty sure it was laced with something. He went ballz crazy on the way back to hotel, running down the middle of the road and past the hotel. Took awhile to usher him in.

When I went to check on the other potheads (all polisci peeps seem to digging some MJ) I came back to find him naked and dressed in the skirt of a girl on our trip because he'd locked himself out and ran through the hotel naked several times.

Then he thought we were all going to kill him and he started crying. Super awkward.

I almost bought a space brownie from a place before we headed out to Brussels. Glad I didn't. My mates ended up sick to death the hole train ride.

--

Anyway, once you've studied psychology and anatomy and see what really goes on in the brain when you're on drugs, you're kind of dissuaded from that shit. Particularly MDMA, which you have to be super careful with because unless you know the supplier, you might end up with something with a whole bunch of shit you don't want in your body. Brain activity actually does nosedive with coke and other uppers. You start blocking certain neural synapses. Not very pretty chemistry is going on.

4 Apr 2015

Quote by Verbal
I tried every drug known to mankind that I could get my hands on in college. Didn't enjoy pills or speedy drugs (HATED cocaine), but was quite fond of the hallucinogens: weed, mushrooms, LSD. Other than weed, haven't done any of that for decades.

Weed is legal here, and I still smoke it occasionally, after the kids have gone to bed, but they know I smoke it. We treat it as no different than alcohol: it's dangerous, it affects your judgement, it affects your brain development, it's illegal for minors, you can't try it til you are 21. Then it's your choice.

Frankly, if I could choose, I'd rather they experiment with weed than alcohol.

I watched a documentary a while ago called Drugs Inc on National Geographic about the legalisation of recreational weed in Colorado. If our government in the UK legalised skunk they could tax it to the hilt and would go a long way to paying off our 1.5 pound national debt. But then again, they'd only find something else to waste it on.

Anyway, I'm intrigued to know, how do you buy your weed now? I mean, is it just a case of driving to your local convenience store and buying super strong skunk, or is it more complicated than that?

4 Apr 2015

As I mentioned above, I do like weed every now and then. The only other drugs I've done are cocaine and ecstasy. Those three, marijuana, cocaine and ecstasy were easily available in college. Many other things too, but I didn't try those.

The biggest by product of the cocaine and ecstasy scene was sex. I'd say those two drugs combined with alcohol was the main reason so many orgies and gangbangs broke out at all night parties and mini-raves. Also common at those parties were alcohol enemas. Girls especially would volunteer for those. Viagra was popular with a lot guys to combine with ecstasy so they could fuck and fuck for hours. I was always concerned that doing viagra could make one addicted to that in order to get an erection, so I've never done viagra. I presume when I'm middle aged or older I'll be using that regularly, but not until I have to.

I have seen people under the influence of meth, but generally steered clear. That drug was not popular in the type of people I tended to hang with. I did know of a very attractive girl that got into meth. Because of that she dropped out of college, was estranged from her family, and ended up working as a street hooker. The last time I saw her she looked horrible, several teeth missing, the teeth she had looked rotten, her hair was real thin, she was real skinny and looked 20 years older than what she was. I heard she had been busted for prostitution a couple of times and already had several venereal diseases.

I might also add that from years of lifting weights I have met several guys that used steroids. Beware big time of those! I've known of a few guys that lost testicles to steroids. Finding that out convinced me to never do steroids. I'd rather keep my balls. Super fast muscle growth is not worth losing testicles. Plus some of those guys would suffer 'Roid Rage. They'd get to where they lose their temper very easily and become violent. It would change their personality.

4 Apr 2015

Quote by Buz

I have seen people under the influence of meth, but generally steered clear. That drug was not popular in the type of people I tended to hang with. I did know of a very attractive girl that got into meth. Because of that she dropped out of college, was estranged from her family, and ended up working as a street hooker. The last time I saw her she looked horrible, several teeth missing, the teeth she had looked rotten, her hair was real thin, she was real skinny and looked 20 years older than what she was. I heard she had been busted for prostitution a couple of times and already had several venereal diseases.

I might also add that from years of lifting weights I have met several guys that used steroids. Beware big time of those! I've known of a few guys that lost testicles to steroids. Finding that out convinced me to never do steroids. I'd rather keep my balls. Super fast muscle growth is not worth losing testicles. Plus some of those guys would suffer 'Roid Rage. They'd get to where they lose their temper very easily and become violent. It would change their personality.

I wouldn't ever suggest touching meth. When you really study that shit....yesh. There really isn't a thing known as "clean meth" as far as I know.

And roids are no joke, though I have a friend I know that's obsessed with drugs (not taking them, just their effects and the like). Said the thing about roids is that, when weening off, you need estrogen to counter-act all that testosterone build up to prevent testicle damage. Not sure if he's right, but sounds plausible.

4 Apr 2015

Quote by squiffy

I watched a documentary a while ago called Drugs Inc on National Geographic about the legalisation of recreational weed in Colorado. If our government in the UK legalised skunk they could tax it to the hilt and would go a long way to paying off our 1.5 pound national debt. But then again, there'd only find something else to waste it on.

Anyway, I'm intrigued to know, how do you buy your weed now? I mean, is it just a case of driving to your local convenience store and buying super strong skunk, or is it more complicated than that?

Not much more complicated than that. You show your driver's licence, they show you 10-12 jars of various strains of the best weed you have ever seen/smelled/smoked in your life, some leaning toward indica, some toward sativa (all the strains have bizarre and fun names, from Alaskan Thunderfuck to Sour Deisel to Chocalope). $40-ish for an 1/8 oz., which will last you quite awhile. They tax the fuck out of it, charge tens of thousands of dollars for a licence to sell it, earmark the funds for education. Free enterprise keeps the price down.

It is a great example of democracy in action. The people spoke, the tide is turning. Same thing with gay marriage - a few mean-spirited bigots out there, but the tide is turning. Democracy is somewhat broken in the U.S., but when left alone, it often works out well.

5 Apr 2015

Even though I was well into weight training from the age of 22 to 25, I never took steroids, but the temptation was always there.

I used to train with a guy who would inject Anabol into his arse cheek and, believe me, the guy was a 17-stone monster. He looked like a monster and trained like an animal, but the adverse side-effects were evident. He had boils all over his back and a very temperamental demeanor. The thing with steroids is they increase testosterone levels in the body which means you can train harder and pack muscle on in no time at all. But they also leave you short-tempered and craving sex 24/7.

I didn't like the idea of sticking a needle in my arse, but what really put me off was the fact that they make your genitals shrink. I would always reason that my cock is small enough already. They also put a lot of strain on your heart, liver and kidneys, and, after years of abusing illicit subtenancies, I was determined to steer clear of drugs.

You can pack on muscle without steroids -- it just takes a lot longer. I used a Maxi Muscle product called Cyclone for a while, and packed on over two-stone of muscle. So if you're willing put the training in and combine creatine with a high-protein diet, you don't need roids. I haven't trained as much over the past two years, but I still weigh 14 stone and 10 pound and have maintained the majority of my muscle mass. I just keep it up with doing light cardio and eating plenty of protein.

5 Apr 2015

Quote by sprite

only bad trip i've ever had was on mushrooms. as for experiences, i occasionally still smoke pot. back when i was a bit younger i dropped a lot of mdma and lsd. now, it's rare, though i still enjoy it on the occasions that i do. not a fan of coke or meth or horse or prescription drugs. i don't have a penis, so shrinkage is never an issue.

Meth is very different from amphetamines, at least here it is. I would never try meth.
And the shrinking disappears in 2 days, so no problem. Just once when I forgot I had an appointment to go with a friend to a sauna resort the next day, that was quite embarrassing lol

5 Apr 2015

I always found that whizz and coke would shrink my cock and render it completely useless, yet, at the same time, stimulate my sex drive. So, even though my cock was shriveled up, I'd be walking around feeling horny. We used to call it "peacock" because our cocks would shrink to the size of a pea. So we'd say things like, "Fuck! That whizz has given me a proper peacock".

I dread to think how many times I turned down sexual advances from women because I knew that as soon as I dropped my pants they'd just fall about laughing. Plus the chances of getting a erection were none existent.

A very horny and persistent woman followed me home from the pub one night after I'd bombed a gram of whizz. She would not take no for an answer, so I just went the flow and invited her in. Once we got upstairs, she stripped off, got into bed, and sat there nagging me to join her in bed whilst I sat at the end of the bed sipping lager and making excuses. She eventually got the message and feel asleep, woke up the next morning and buggered off.

A couple of days later, I found out she'd been spreading rumours about me, telling people I refused to have sex with her and confessed to being gay. Now I'm the least homophobic person you'll ever meet, but there were certain people on my manor that would take offence to that sort of thing. Anyway, once I got the life back into my cock, I contacted her and gave her a good screwing just to keep her sweet and stop her spreading lies about me.

5 Apr 2015

Quote by squiffy
I always found that whizz and coke would shrink my cock and render it completely useless, yet, at the same time, stimulate my sex drive. So, even though my cock was shriveled up, I'd be walking around feeling horny. We used to call it "peacock" because our cocks would shrink to the size of a pea. So we'd say things like, "Fuck! That whizz has given me a proper peacock".

I dread to think how many times I turned down sexual advances from women because I knew that as soon as I dropped my pants they'd just fall about laughing. Plus the chances of getting a erection were none existent.

A very horny and persistent woman followed me home from the pub one night after I'd bombed a gram of whizz. She would not take no for an answer, so I just went the flow and invited her in. Once we got upstairs, she stripped off, got into bed, and sat there nagging me to join her in bed whilst I sat at the end of the bed sipping lager and making excuses. She eventually got the message and feel asleep, woke up the next morning and buggered off.

A couple of days later, I found out she'd been spreading rumours about me, telling people I refused to have sex with her and confessed to being gay. Now I'm the least homophobic person you'll ever meet, but there were certain people on my manor that would take offence to that sort of thing. Anyway, once I got the life back into my cock, I contacted her and gave her a good screwing just to keep her sweet and stop her spreading lies about me.

Were you also so shocked the first time? I never knew it could get so small haha I can get it hard tough, just a bit more effort.

6 Apr 2015

Yeah, I must admit, it was quite a shock. But, no, you're right, it is possible to get it up, but it does take a lot of effort.

After a long night drinking, bombing whizz and hoovering coke up my hooter, there was nothing more satisfying than retreating back home on my own to be alone with my thoughts. Then indulge the pleasures of solitude and try to make sense of the evening's escapades whilst power wanking like there was no tomorrow.

THE DANGERS OF POWER WANKING

6 Apr 2015

Drugs I've had my fair share of apart from inject I doubt anything I've missed over the years. Yes it's a crazy thing to do long term or you could even end up with a bad batch of something or worse die! My only advice is if you have to do them try to be responsible and have good friends around you that you trust will look after you in case of emergency. Yes sex can take a boos from certain drugs but some have the opposite affect, remember not all drugs react the same on each individual!

Weirdest experience ever was on Lsd, we started out as per any other night clubbing. Lsd can often have a knock on affect when out in a crowd so what tends to happen is someone says look at that or did you hear that. Well cutting a very long story shorter after the decks at the club went bang we decided to go to a friends house and chill till we came down from the night. On the wall in the lounge hanging were 2 blank firing guns we had all seen them before and all knew they only fire blanks. One of the girls pulled a gun down and a guy grabbed the other. They both took aim and fired the next thing we all remember is crawling around the room trying to dodge the constant ricocheting bullets. Eventually I decided to leave with my partner a lifelong non drug user, soon arriving home and deciding to go to bed. When we got in bed a sudden rise hit me and I then become a sexual monster screwing her hard and soon draining myself of the urge to cum any more. Well I soon moved down the bed and cleaned her over wet puss and sucked quite loudly still being greedy. My partner must of given a fanny fart because what I was hearing was the pussy chatting with me. According to her I then spent the next four hours chatting keeping her awake in the meantime. I suppose in a way I was lucky that damn pussy decided to chat and not bite smile

7 Apr 2015

I almost drowned in the goddamn ocean fucking around with mushrooms once.

7 Apr 2015

I've seen the nasty results of drug and alcohol abuse several times from a very short distance. I like my liquor, but always within limits and I've never even considered trying any drug, other than what de doctor perscribed.

A little kindness can be so valuable, yet costs almost nothing

In many countries being gay is a crime, and even in modern societies, politicians try to legalise discrimination. Your voice can make a difference. Have a look at All Out to find out how.

Hey... pssst.... that's an l (as in luscious) at the end of my name, not an i

7 Apr 2015

I smoked hash for a short while in my early twenties. Thought it was a waste of money to be honest. Since then I have seen some friends and family end up in mental institutions through drug abuse; seen some driven to suicide and others wreck their marriages, businesses and careers. Drugs are the scourge of the modern day society. People use the word 'recreational' to make them sound so chick or cool to use but the reality is that drug users are putting poisonous chemicals into their bodies, ignoring the long term consequences for a short term thrill. Why anyone would want to put a needle into their veins; snort something up their nostrils; inhale or swallow something that could end their life is beyond me.

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

7 Apr 2015

I've tried a bit of everything, though most of them only a few times: cannabis, hash, speed (amphetamines), cocaine, ecstasy (MDMA), acid (LSD), mushrooms. Cannabis has always been my drug of choice, most of the other ones I only took less than 5-10 times just to try them. I've always been a bit reluctant to drugs for various reasons (the typical ones I guess), but mostly I always knew deep inside that I had a kind of personality that's prone to addiction and the likes.

I really have that 'all or nothing' aspect to my personality: either I don't partake in something, or I do in an almost compulsive way. Before I started smoking cigarettes I was very opposed to them (even holding my breath when I was next to smokers and obviously refusing them when they were offered to me), then I randomly found a coat in a park in my early 20s and there was a pack of cigarettes in one pocket; I tried one just for the fun of it and within a week I became a pack-a-day smoker, an addiction that lasted for the greater part of my 20s. And I display a similar behavior concerning most of my habits: I weight my food and count my calories because I value fitness, I read extensively about skincare and I have strict beauty-regimens because I care about looking good, I have a few other narrow topics that I'm obsessed about, etc. Luckily I'm also the least impulsive kind of person, so I'm usually able to remain objective before I incorporate a new habit into my life; I've never had any dysfunctional form of OCD either (though a few of my habits could be considered a little odd by some people).

However, you can imagine how it would be if I 'turned the switch on' regarding a substance like cocaine and allowed it to enter into my life: I wouldn't be the recreational weekend user, I'd be the freak that can't get enough of it and that wouldn't give much of a fuck about the consequences. Not to mention that I also hung out with a lot of hardcore ex-addicts in my 20s (some of them actually had a few relapses) and that most drugs were readily available to me during that period. That technically could have been tempting for me, but I've always been more interested in setting a good example for these people instead of being the kind of jerk who only used them to satisfy his own addiction and encouraged them to destroy their lives furthermore. And these people also provided me quite a few sad stories to discourage me from becoming an addict myself anyway (most of them were in fact 10-20 years older than me).

I met a lot of these folks through different work environments: I spent most of my 20s alternating between studying in numerous fields at university (mostly social sciences) and then working to accumulate more money for my next 'university bout'. I've always preferred these kinds of shitty/physical jobs for many reasons: the salary was actually pretty decent (because nobody wanted to do these jobs), they maintained me in top physical condition, they were awesome to release my frustrations and to grow a few extra-pairs of balls, and these environments were crawling with people that had various addictions, psychological conditions or existential baggage (which I've always found a lot more interesting than most 'common' people). I loved this dual-lifestyle during that period, learning a lot of theoretical knowledge and then testing it on the field; or alternatively, being confronted to a lot of situations and then trying to understand the whys and hows in a classroom. Very enlightening, I don't regret any of it.

I've pretty much seen it all regarding drugs: the coke addict that acted as a friendly intermediate between a dealer and a rich consumer, and that got $150/day worth of coke offered to him by both of these; the heroin ex-addict that had to take his dose of methadone at 3pm and who had huge scar down his neck (because he overdosed); the model-like blonde who prostituted to pay for her various addictions; the spiritual oddball that tried every hallucinogen known to mankind; the black guy from Congo who saw his own brother gunned down before his eyes and that was heavily addicted to crack. That said, I was rarely around when these people were taking drugs (except for cannabis): most of them were fairly rehabilitated, I wasn't hearing from them much when they had relapses (luckily), and some of them were simply coworkers or acquaintances (ie. friends of friends) that I met a few times. Funnily enough, most of my own drug experiences actually happened with my more 'regular' friends that I met at school.

Anyway, cannabis has always been my favorite drug, I used to smoke quite a lot of it, though that was still a tiny amount compared to what some other guys I knew could smoke. You can imagine that it was fairly common in the workplaces I've been: the great majority of people smoked pot on the job, a lot of them were actually more functional when they were stoned, haha (being rather irritable/violent when they were sober). And the bosses didn't really care (a lot of them were just as fucked up as the rest of these people) and the job was getting done anyway. I've known a few guys that smoked 1/8 oz per day (3.5g or 10 substantial joints for the uninitiated). That's a budget of around $25/day, $750/month or $9,000/year for people that weren't earning more than $25,000-30,000/year; pot addiction is a very real phenomenon, trust me.

Myself, I very rarely smoked on the job and rarely had a big stash at home either (generally only 1-2g, often times none at all). Pot was pretty much all around me, even my friends from university were into it more than any other drug, so I never really felt the need to keep a huge supply just for myself. I was a rather social smoker, I could get stoned pretty much everywhere and then I'd simply enjoy the comedown at home while doing my things. For example, I had a few friends that I could visit on my way back from work/university. I could drop by at around 5:30pm, smoke a joint (or two) with them, and then be on my way at around 6:30pm and I'd be stoned or semi-stoned for the rest of the evening; I rarely felt the need to light up another joint at home all by myself (especially when I had to workout). And plenty of coworkers and fellow students also offered me to smoke with them at the end of the day (or during the day for that matter). I could get my hands on pretty decent pot for a very low price ($7.50/gram), so money wasn't an issue and we weren't really counting who was owning who: sometimes I was paying (or bringing the pot), sometimes my buddies were. When I was alone all by myself (during a lonely weekend for example), 1 gram could last me around 2 days. I preferred to roll smaller joints (around 6 joints/gram, whereas many of my friends rolled 3 joints/gram), and then smoke a small amount every now and then. I've never enjoyed being heavily stoned or being stoned all the time, for me smoking pot was much more a fun complement to my lifestyle, similar to drinking coffee. And I've never made much of a fuss about it, especially since it was so common in my life.

That said, I barely smoke anymore (since around 2-3 years). I only smoke during a few social occasions (eg. when going out, during a poker game with friends, etc.) or I buy an occasional gram (or two) for old times' sake. Of course though, I totally had to smoke with my new girlfriend, haha. I'm more stable now than I was in my 20s and pot was becoming kind of an old friend which didn't thrill me as much anymore: I've been stoned in just about every circumstance and experienced all the highs and lows, smoking pot was slowly becoming a boring burden more than an excitement. Plus, I actually stopped smoking cigarettes during the same time period and smoking weed was just tempting me to light up a cigarette; I figured it was a good time to quit smoking weed as well (or at least diminish my consumption considerably). And most of my best friends are similar too: a lot of them don't smoke much anymore and are busy with other things, so weed is a lot less accessible to me now than it was a few years ago. To top it all, I haven't called my official pusher since more than a year either: that guy was a very good friend (almost a brother) which I shared a lot of things with during the greater part of my 20s, but ironically he too was becoming an old friend that didn't thrill me as much anymore. We pretty much shared all that we had to share and our conversations were getting boring as fuck, and calling him back just to buy pot would feel way awkward. Nowadays I mostly buy pot from a few random acquaintances, when the occasion presents itself.

I don't regret my 'weed years' at all, though as someone that's quite experienced/knowledgeable about it, I'd say that it isn't a drug that's as beautiful/innocent as some people would want it to be. In fact, I'd even say that its light/common nature is exactly what can make it such a nasty drug: some people get to smoke insane amounts of it and don't heed the warning signs because it's natural, it's so common, and it's 'just weed'. I've known many guys that were heavily addicted to it and it's an addiction that can be just as sad/detrimental as any other addiction: these guys were wasting all their money into it and looked like zombies for the majority of the day (and therefore the majority of their lives). I had a few good friends that I only visited early in the afternoon (before they were heavily intoxicated), otherwise they just couldn't keep a sensible conversation with me: they were simply staring at me without any emotion when I was talking to them, while drooling with their mouths half-way open (and this is very serious).

The physical addiction isn't that strong, but it can certainly put you in that comfortable bubble of contentment where you just don't give a fuck about your personal situation; and when your personal situation is more disastrous than it is glorious, the contrast between stoned/sober can be extremely strong... and addictive. Those few studies that have been published in recent years also appear very plausible to me: affecting the development of the brain in teens and triggering psychosis in people that are at risk. And of course, nobody think it's much of a big deal because you don't see these people screaming on the streets or getting into trouble to get their next fix, as opposed to some other drug addicts (eg. heroin, crack, meth). That said, many of the guys I knew were actually ex-addicts of much heavier substances, so I guess that was still an improvement and just a way to cope in their specific cases. And the majority of my friends were more moderate in their consumption of pot (or at least more tolerant to it), and it was simply a fun supplement to their lives... similar to how alcohol can be pure fun for some people, but a living hell for others.

I even had a few frightening episodes with pot myself. One time I was working at night (12am-7am) and I was giving a lift to 3 other coworkers around my age... which all happened to be major pot users. These guys were so thrilled that I was giving them a lift that they were bringing huge bags of weed to smoke every morning in my car after our shift. They were rolling enormous joints while I was driving (almost 1g per joint), then I'd stop in a random parking lot and we'd smoke it all; that was literally the biggest pot-fest I ever witnessed in my entire life, and it went on every goddamn morning for nearly 4 months. I wasn't smoking prior/during the job, but I was still stoned for the greater part of my free time during that period. Pot also has that effect on me where I often get lost into my own thoughts when I'm alone (which can be enjoyable in moderation), and I also broke up with a girlfriend just a short while prior, so I had a lot to think about and I just constantly kept thinking during the day before falling asleep and repeating the same routine again and again. And I was working at night in a shitty environment, which drained a lot of my energy (especially since I was already rather depressed due to my breakup).

One day at home (while still thinking), I had some kind of epiphany where I thought that I had discovered the secret of the universe; I took a few pieces of paper and started scribbling all sorts of crazy thoughts, similar to those schizophrenics that you see writing on the walls of their cells in movies. The core of it was in fact rather brilliant (ie. the duality of the universe, a central part of Nietzsche's philosophy which I read about a few years later), but a great deal of it was just utter psychotic nonsense. I was hyped about it for a few hours, then I thought to myself: "Nope, I'm really not feeling all that well.". And I even had trouble making simple mental calculations (something I'm usually outstanding at) or reading what time it was on my clock. I called at my job the same day, told them that I was in a burnout, and asked them to transfer me to another shift; of course they argued about it, but I promised them that I'd bring them a paper from the doctor (which I did). I took some time off, indulged in healthier activities (eg. sleeping well, going outside, fitness), quit smoking pot altogether (for a short while), and then one month later my employer offered me a job on the evening shift (4pm-12pm). That was by far the most frightening psychological incident of my life, I really thought that I was losing it for a while. To this day, I still have all those scribbles that I wrote down that day, and I look at them whenever I feel like reminding myself that weed can be one hell of a nasty drug. I had a few other weird moments under the influence of pot, but nothing overly panicking and no episodes of paranoia either (aside from feeling that everyone was looking at me when I was stoned in public).

With other drugs, I experimented a bit for the sake of experimentation just to figure out what they were about; I wasn't planning to fill some kind of gap in my life and some of my friends could provide me quite decent/reliable drugs, so I was safe that way. I tried amphetamines (ie. speed) a few times in different environments, which I kinda enjoyed. A few guys that I worked with during physical jobs relied on them to get through the day; I usually relied on caffeine myself (a big thermos per day), but I popped a pill or dropped a bomb a few times when I was feeling very tired. Some of these situations turned out to be way hilarious because I'm already quite hyper when I'm performing physical jobs... I truly was on fire, haha. Same thing in nightclubs: I've always relied on caffeine to keep me alert (drinking a large cup before heading out and then usually another one while changing venues or having a snack across the street), but I took amphetamines in moderation a few times when they were available. And I also snorted some at friends' places, just for the fun of it. As another poster mentioned previously however, they're pretty much like a poor man's cocaine and can be quite addictive: you get the same kind of physical/intellectual energy, only it doesn't provoke a rush that's as strong as cocaine and lasts much longer. And mind you, I love that raise in my dopamine levels, so I only took amphetamines during a few rare social occasions because I truly felt that I could become addicted to them (especially since they're so cheap). Caffeine/nicotine have always been my stimulants of choice and they've always been good enough for me, plus you're never sure of what you're getting with those chemicals and they aren't always all that reliable or safe. Amphetamines weren't all that popular among my usual friends anyway and I didn't have access to them all that often; I took small amounts maybe 10 times in total in my entire life, that was experimenting more than anything.

I also tried cocaine on a few occasions, though I barely felt any effect at times. A few of my ex-addict friends got their hands on some at times (from random/suspicious sources) and insisted that I try it with them, which I did with some reluctance. We only had about 1/2 gram to share between the both of us (sometimes less) and it was gone after 5 minutes (either snorted or smoked with tobacco); that's $50 gone in under 5 minutes which barely provided any effect, maybe stimulating like a coffee or a Red Bull at most. My friend then acknowledged that there was barely any cocaine in there, maybe a few, but nothing to really feel the effect. And I turned the situation to my advantage to remind him how shitty that drug-culture really was: "That's $50 who just disappeared man!". I'm sure a lot of younger folks who get sold coke only get a mix of amphetamines/novocain: amphetamines to simulate the stimulating effect, novocain to simulate the numbing effect, with only a minimal amount of cocaine just to feel that slight rush. You really need to have a trusted source to get quality coke, and even then it's likely to be cut substantially.

I also had a few legit cocaine trips with some of my more moderate friends (those that weren't addicted to it); one of these guys had access to quality coke, so I jumped on the opportunity to really experience its effects without setting a bad example for an ex-addict. I did a few lines with an interval of around 30 minutes. Results: exactly as I expected, way too fucking awesome and addictive for me. I absolutely loved that rush where I felt like a god, but then I also realized how so fucking addictive it really was; I really don't understand people who can only do that drug moderately/occasionally. I only did 2 legit trips like that (years apart), and that was majorly playing with fire for me. The comedown wasn't all that bad either (we smoked a bit of pot afterward), aside from the fact that was craving for more. The majority of the regular friends that I used to go out with really weren't that hyped about cocaine however, maybe only 1/5 of them took it occasionally when going out; and they knew how I felt toward it, so they rarely consumed it in front of me and it was easy for me to just ignore it.

I had various levels of success with ecstasy, though even the best experiences made me realize that it wasn't really my type of drug and it's never been very popular among my closest friends anyway. The first time I tried it I was 18 was in an average nightclub (not overly focused in EDM or dancing, it was more a bar/club type of venue with a few quieter areas). One of my friends offered some to me, and the rest of my friends (who were older than me and who already experimented with ecstasy) kinda went: "You guys are gonna do some X? Well have fun, we're just gonna have some drinks ourselves.". Then I popped a pill and my friend tried to 'sell' the effects to me: "Come on the dance floor, doesn't that feel great!? Ah man, touching my hair feels so orgasmic, you should try it yourself! Dude I like you so much, I love everyone when I'm on ecstasy!". Then I played along to fully test the effects, pretty much like a first-time pot-smoker gets overly excited and will laugh at just about anything. Part of it was fun (like any new experience), but it didn't feel all that great to me either. At some point I looked at my other friends who didn't drop ecstasy and I kinda envied them: I just wished that the effects would wear off to get back to my usual self. And I also felt a bit dumb and mildly paranoid, it wasn't the kind of scene where everybody was on ecstasy so me and my friend definitely stood out (especially since he encouraged me to exaggerate the effects so much). I also felt a few uncomfortable side-effects (feeling nauseous mostly) and I didn't feel in the best possible condition to interact with girls either. And the comedown felt awful afterward.

I tested it a few other times during the same time period (my early clubbing years), and the experience was rather similar. I kept thinking: "Yeah, that drug might be fun in a rave/afterhour environment where everybody is on the same drug, but I can't really let myself go and fully enjoy the effects in a regular nightclub.". I've never been much of a heavy partier/dancer who likes to completely exhaust himself anyway, I just like to hang out with some friends, meet a few girls, and dance sporadically just to be in a good vibe and to stimulate myself a little, so I wasn't exactly looking for some kind of 'booster' to get me through the night anyway. And I didn't really like this happy-trippy feeling where everyone/everything was so wonderful either, I like to maintain that edge in my personality where I can just tell people to piss off if need be; not that it happens all that often in nightclubs, but ecstasy always felt a bit 'depersonalizing' for me that way. I actually argued about this a few times with people: some say that ecstasy is very pure and wholesome, while a few others argue that it feels fake. It definitely feels fake for me personally, I feel my personality changing and I know that I'm behaving in a way that I normally wouldn't with some people. People who already have a happy-trippy personality might only feel like an uplifted version of themselves, but for a rather serious/cerebral guy like me it always felt rather weird/fake. I much prefer weed to get that overall feeling of 'communion' with other people and to engage in personal discussions, the effect on your neurotransmitters is a lot more indirect and it feels much more genuine to me.

I also tried it with a few girls (because they were taking ecstasy themselves and told me that the sex would be awesome), but I just couldn't get a hard-on; partly because of the physiological side-effects, but also partly because I was way too districted by the overall effects of the drug. Ecstasy actually has a reputation for making sex more sensual/affective than purely sexual. Then I had to indulge in that kind of sensual/affective sex with these girls (touching/caressing each other and licking their pussies), which felt rather odd considering that I simply wanted to fuck them good and then be on my way; I didn't exactly feel like being sensual/affective with those particular girls, especially since I barely knew them. Again, those experiences felt rather fake, I knew that I normally wouldn't have been all that affectionate with those girls.

I barely touched ecstasy in the next five years, then I met my second girlfriend who had that artistic/crazy vibe and who occasionally enjoyed dropping ecstasy with some of her friends; not all that often though, maybe once every 2-3 months while dancing the night away and completely draining herself in afterhour clubs. And weed was still her regular drug of choice (like me). I thought: "Here's finally my chance to fully appreciate the effects of ecstasy.". I had never been to a proper rave/afterhour before, regular clubs close at 3am here in my city which has always been plenty enough for me to have a fun time, and my friends weren't really into that scene either. We planned our evening (we slept during most of the afternoon prior) and went to that afterhour club with her friends.

Those were the times where I enjoyed ecstasy the most: almost everybody there was on ecstasy so I could just let myself go completely and be as crazy as I wanted to, I had nothing to prove to anybody (I already was with my girlfriend), I was with someone which I already felt affectionate with (ie. my girlfriend) so those overly 'affectionate feelings' felt quite a bit more natural. The comedown was awful though, I felt drained/depressed for a whole week afterward. I really don't do well with those drugs that affect my serotonin levels I must say (the main mood neurotransmitter), my doctor even prescribed me different SSRIs through the years when I was feeling a little down and they always gave me nasty side-effects (mainly making me feel restless/nauseous). Having my serotonin levels depleted really made me feel awful, especially since I was working in rather exhausting/depressing environments and really had to be at my best to maintain a positive attitude. I stayed with that girlfriend a bit more than 2 years and I reproduced the same experience maybe 3-4 times. I didn't go out with her every time she went to those afterhours however, I just let her have fun with her girlfriends a few times; she knew I wasn't reacting all that well to ecstasy and she was perfectly tolerant of it. And as I mentioned previously, it was still something rather occasional even for her anyway. That's the thing with ecstasy I guess, as I discussed with a few other people over the years: it's not as versatile as some other drugs (ie. weed), you kinda have to plan ahead before using it. You almost need 2 free days on your calendar if you really intend to appreciate the effects fully.

I also tried ecstasy during sex with the same girlfriend a few times. It was much better than with those previous random hookups, but still not better than sober sex for me (or weed sex, which is fantastic too). It was easier for me to get a hard-on these times. Basically, we started having sex before the effects of ecstasy fully took effect and I already had a hard-on; I figured that when I already had a hard-on, it was easier to maintain it than trying to get one when I was already high. Having said that, I had a hard time cumming and lost my erection a few times; nothing too disappointing however, we just switched to something else (eg. oral sex, caressing) until I could get hard again. It was fun to indulge into that kind of sensual sex where every sensation was amplified, but I felt quite a bit at the mercy of the drug concerning hard-ons, which was rather frustrating. And fucking for so long was getting a bit pointless, I almost had to wait for the comedown to finally shoot my load.

I experimented with acid (LSD) and mushrooms a few times too; 2 times with LSD and around 3-4 times with mushrooms. As with some other drugs, that was mostly to figure out what the fuss was about. Hallucinogens aren't quite my type of drugs, though I had fun with mushrooms a few times; I once tripped with about 8 other people around a campfire, that was a fun experience. I reacted fairly well to them, though it's really not an experience that I seek or intend to reproduce over and over again. I had a friend heavily into hallucinogens who took a blotter of LSD once... and it ended up being PCP. He had a major paranoid experience and told me that he never really felt the same ever since. As with any other drug, you need to have a reliable source, otherwise you might end up swallowing something that can fuck you up big time.

Well, those are my overall experiences with drugs. I doubt that anybody will read this long post entirely, but it just feels good to let those things out all at once, haha.

It's funny that my drug experiences almost sound like a comprehensive biography. I'm not quite sure what this tells about me. confused1

7 Apr 2015

Quote by Liz
What are your experiences with recreational drugs?

Do you enjoy smoking a joint in the evenings, or do you take something a bit stronger? Had any bad trips? Had any life changing experiences? Ever tripped out on magic mushrooms and pretended you were a huge butterfly?

Willing to share? (A story, not your stash.)

Thinking about it, I've been pretty damn lucky with my experiences with recreational drugs. My family moved to a relatively affluent part of Southern England when I was 15 and I found myself amongst a group of really good, decent people - just people with the curiosity, the connections and the cash to get stuck into things wholeheartedly. I just went along for the ride and found myself having a fantastic time.

There aren't many things I haven't tried in the last ten years but now I mostly stick to a small bifta in the evenings and something a bit stronger say over a festival weekend or at some DJ event.

I remember being at a woodland rave-type-thing when I was 17: campfire, generator, fairy lights, old sofas strewn everywhere and having the most marvellous fucking time on shrooms. I'm sure to an outsider I looked insane but I was Alice in my very own, very lovely Wonderland spinning the most wonderful bullshit tales with the trees.

I firmly do not believe that drugs are the "scourge of modern day society". I personally use the term recreational to describe the use of drugs by someone who isn't addicted to them and can still be an active and useful participant in society.

Like anything in this life, moderation is usually key. Just as with legal drugs, like alcohol, you meet people with little or no tolerance for it and yet it's rarer to find people condemning/criticising them for persisting in abusing it.
I know everyone's experiences differ greatly and I can only speak for mine but I have seen more deaths caused by alcohol in my lifetime than anything illegal.

7 Apr 2015

Quote by SereneProdigy
I've tried a bit of everything, though most of them only a few times: cannabis, hash, speed (amphetamines), cocaine, ecstasy (MDMA), acid (LSD), mushrooms. Cannabis has always been my drug of choice, most of the other ones I only took less than 5-10 times just to try them. I've always been a bit reluctant to drugs for various reasons (the typical ones I guess), but mostly I always knew deep inside that I had a kind of personality that's prone to addiction and the likes.

I really have that 'all or nothing' aspect to my personality: either I don't partake in something, or I do in an almost compulsive way. Before I started smoking cigarettes I was very opposed to them (even holding my breath when I was next to smokers and obviously refusing them when they were offered to me), then I randomly found a coat in a park in my early 20s and there was a pack of cigarettes in one pocket; I tried one just for the fun of it and within a week I became a pack-a-day smoker, an addiction that lasted for the greater part of my 20s. And I display a similar behavior concerning most of my habits: I weight my food and count my calories because I value fitness, I read extensively about skincare and I have strict beauty-regimens because I care about looking good, I have a few other narrow topics that I'm obsessed about, etc. Luckily I'm also the least impulsive kind of person, so I'm usually able to remain objective before I incorporate a new habit into my life; I've never had any dysfunctional form of OCD either (though a few of my habits could be considered a little odd by some people).

However, you can imagine how it would be if I 'turned the switch on' regarding a substance like cocaine and allowed it to enter into my life: I wouldn't be the recreational weekend user, I'd be the freak that can't get enough of it and that wouldn't give much of a fuck about the consequences. Not to mention that I also hung out with a lot of hardcore ex-addicts in my 20s (some of them actually had a few relapses) and that most drugs were readily available to me during that period. That technically could have been tempting for me, but I've always been more interested in setting a good example for these people instead of being the kind of jerk who only used them to satisfy his own addiction and encouraged them to destroy their lives furthermore. And these people also provided me quite a few sad stories to discourage me from becoming an addict myself anyway (most of them were in fact 10-20 years older than me).

I met a lot of these folks through different work environments: I spent most of my 20s alternating between studying in numerous fields at university (mostly social sciences) and then working to accumulate more money for my next 'university bout'. I've always preferred these kinds of shitty/physical jobs for many reasons: the salary was actually pretty decent (because nobody wanted to do these jobs), they maintained me in top physical condition, they were awesome to release my frustrations and to grow a few extra-pairs of balls, and these environments were crawling with people that had various addictions, psychological conditions or existential baggage (which I've always found a lot more interesting than most 'common' people). I loved this dual-lifestyle during that period, learning a lot of theoretical knowledge and then testing it on the field; or alternatively, being confronted to a lot of situations and then trying to understand the whys and hows in a classroom. Very enlightening, I don't regret any of it.

I've pretty much seen it all regarding drugs: the coke addict that acted as a friendly intermediate between a dealer and a rich consumer, and that got $150/day worth of coke offered to him by both of these; the heroin ex-addict that had to take his dose of methadone at 3pm and who had huge scar down his neck (because he overdosed); the model-like blonde who prostituted to pay for her various addictions; the spiritual oddball that tried every hallucinogen known to mankind; the black guy from Congo who saw his own brother gunned down before his eyes and that was heavily addicted to crack. That said, I was rarely around when these people were taking drugs (except for cannabis): most of them were fairly rehabilitated, I wasn't hearing from them much when they had relapses (luckily), and some of them were simply coworkers or acquaintances (ie. friends of friends) that I met a few times. Funnily enough, most of my own drug experiences actually happened with my more 'regular' friends that I met at school.

Anyway, cannabis has always been my favorite drug, I used to smoke quite a lot of it, though that was still a tiny amount compared to what some other guys I knew could smoke. You can imagine that it was fairly common in the workplaces I've been: the great majority of people smoked pot on the job, a lot of them were actually more functional when they were stoned, haha (being rather irritable/violent when they were sober). And the bosses didn't really care (a lot of them were just as fucked up as the rest of these people) and the job was getting done anyway. I've known a few guys that smoked 1/8 oz per day (3.5g or 10 substantial joints for the uninitiated). That's a budget of around $25/day, $750/month or $9,000/year for people that weren't earning more than $25,000-30,000/year; pot addiction is a very real phenomenon, trust me.

Myself, I very rarely smoked on the job and rarely had a big stash at home either (generally only 1-2g, often times none at all). Pot was pretty much all around me, even my friends from university were into it more than any other drug, so I never really felt the need to keep a huge supply just for myself. I was a rather social smoker, I could get stoned pretty much everywhere and then I'd simply enjoy the comedown at home while doing my things. For example, I had a few friends that I could visit on my way back from work/university. I could drop by at around 5:30pm, smoke a joint (or two) with them, and then be on my way at around 6:30pm and I'd be stoned or semi-stoned for the rest of the evening; I rarely felt the need to light up another joint at home all by myself (especially when I had to workout). And plenty of coworkers and fellow students also offered me to smoke with them at the end of the day (or during the day for that matter). I could get my hands on pretty decent pot for a very low price ($7.50/gram), so money wasn't an issue and we weren't really counting who was owning who: sometimes I was paying (or bringing the pot), sometimes my buddies were. When I was alone all by myself (during a lonely weekend for example), 1 gram could last me around 2 days. I preferred to roll smaller joints (around 6 joints/gram, whereas many of my friends rolled 3 joints/gram), and then smoke a small amount every now and then. I've never enjoyed being heavily stoned or being stoned all the time, for me smoking pot was much more a fun complement to my lifestyle, similar to drinking coffee. And I never made much of a fuss about it, especially since it was so common in my life.

That said, I barely smoke anymore (since around 2-3 years). I only smoke during a few social occasions (eg. when going out, during a poker game with friends, etc.) or I buy an occasional gram (or two) for old times' sake. Of course though, I totally had to smoke with my new girlfriend, haha. I'm more stable now than I was in my 20s and pot was becoming kind of an old friend which didn't thrill me as much anymore: I've been stoned in just about every circumstance and experienced all the highs and lows, smoking pot was slowly becoming a boring burden more than an excitement. Plus, I actually stopped smoking cigarettes during the same time period and smoking weed was just tempting me to light up a cigarette; I figured it was a good time to quit smoking weed as well (or at least diminish my consumption considerably). And most of my best friends are similar too: a lot of them don't smoke much anymore and are busy with other things, so weed is a lot less accessible to me now than it was a few years ago. To top it all, I haven't called my official pusher since more than a year either: that guy was a very good friend (almost a brother) which I shared a lot of things with during the greater part of my 20s, but ironically he too was becoming an old friend that didn't thrill me as much anymore. We pretty much shared all that we had to share and our conversations were getting boring as fuck, and calling him back just to buy pot would feel way awkward. Nowadays I mostly buy pot from a few random acquaintances, when the occasion presents itself.

I don't regret my 'weed years' at all, though as someone that's quite experienced/knowledgeable about it, I'd say that it isn't a drug that's as beautiful/innocent as some people would want it to be. In fact, I'd even say that its light/common nature is exactly what can make it such a nasty drug: some people get to smoke insane amounts of it and don't heed the warning signs because it's natural, it's so common, and it's 'just weed'. I've known many guys that were heavily addicted to it and it's an addiction that can be just as sad/detrimental as any other addiction: these guys were wasting all their money into it and looked like zombies for the majority of the day (and therefore the majority of their lives). I had a few good friends that I only visited early in the afternoon (before they were heavily intoxicated), otherwise they just couldn't keep a sensible conversation with me: they were simply staring at me without any emotion when I was talking to them, while drooling with their mouths half-way open (and this is very serious).

The physical addiction isn't that strong, but it can certainly put you in that comfortable bubble of contentment where you just don't give a fuck about your personal situation; and when your personal situation is more disastrous than it is glorious, the contrast between stoned/sober can be extremely strong... and addictive. Those few studies that have been published in recent years also appear very plausible to me: affecting the development of the brain in teens and triggering psychosis in people that are at risk. And of course, nobody think it's much of a big deal because you don't see these people screaming on the streets or getting into trouble to get their next fix, as opposed to some other drug addicts (eg. heroin, crack, meth). That said, many of the guys I knew were actually ex-addicts of much heavier substances, so I guess that was still an improvement and just a way to cope in their specific cases. And the majority of my friends were more moderate in their consumption of pot (or at least more tolerant to it), and it was simply a fun supplement to their lives... similar to how alcohol can be pure fun for some people, but a living hell for others.

I even had a few frightening episodes with pot myself. One time I was working at night (12am-7am) and I was giving a lift to 3 other coworkers around my age... which all happened to be major pot users. These guys were so thrilled that I was giving them a lift that they were bringing huge bags of weed to smoke every morning in my car after our shift. They were rolling enormous joints while I was driving (almost 1g per joint), then I'd stop in a random parking lot and we'd smoke it all; that was literally the biggest pot-fest I ever witnessed in my entire life, and it went on every goddamn morning for nearly 4 months. I wasn't smoking prior/during the job, but I was still stoned for the greater part of my free time during that period. Pot also has that effect on me where I often get lost into my own thoughts when I'm alone (which can be enjoyable in moderation), and I also broke up with a girlfriend just a short while prior, so I had a lot to think about and I just constantly kept thinking during the day before falling asleep and repeating the same routine again and again. And I was working at night in a shitty environment, which drained a lot of my energy (especially since I was already rather depressed due to my breakup).

One day at home (while still thinking), I had some kind of epiphany where I thought that I had discovered the secret of the universe; I took a few pieces of paper and started scribbling all sorts of crazy thoughts, similar to those schizophrenics that you see writing on the walls of their cells in movies. The core of it was in fact rather brilliant (ie. the duality of the universe, a central part of Nietzsche's philosophy which I read about a few years later), but a great deal of it was just utter psychotic nonsense. I was hyped about it for a few hours, then I thought to myself: "Nope, I'm really not feeling all that well.". And I even had trouble making simple mental calculations (something I'm usually outstanding at) or reading what time it was on my clock. I called at my job the same day, told them that I was in a burnout, and asked them to transfer me to another shift; of course they argued about it, but I promised them that I'd bring them a paper from the doctor (which I did). I took some time off, indulged in healthier activities (eg. sleeping well, going outside, fitness), quit smoking pot altogether (for a short while), and then one month later my employer offered me a job on the evening shift (4pm-12pm). That was by far the most frightening psychological incident of my life, I really thought that I was losing it for a while. To this day, I still have all those scribbles that I wrote down that day, and I look at them whenever I feel like reminding myself that weed can be one hell of a nasty drug. I had a few other weird moments under the influence of pot, but nothing overly panicking and no episodes of paranoia either (aside from feeling that everyone was looking at me when I was stoned in public).

With other drugs, I experimented a bit for the sake of experimentation just to figure out what they were about; I wasn't planning to fill some kind of gap in my life and some of my friends could provide me quite decent/reliable drugs, so I was safe that way. I tried amphetamines (ie. speed) a few times in different environments, which I kinda enjoyed. A few guys that I worked with during physical jobs relied on them to get through the day; I usually relied on caffeine myself (a big thermos per day), but I popped a pill or dropped a bomb a few times when I was feeling very tired. Some of these situations turned out to be way hilarious because I'm already quite hyper when I'm performing physical jobs... I truly was on fire, haha. Same thing in nightclubs: I've always relied on caffeine to keep me alert (drinking a large cup before heading out and then usually another one while changing venues or having a snack across the street), but I took amphetamines in moderation a few times when they were available. And I also snorted some at friends' places, just for the fun of it. As another poster mentioned previously however, they're pretty much like a poor man's cocaine and can be quite addictive: you get the same kind of physical/intellectual energy, only it doesn't provoke a rush that's as strong as cocaine and lasts much longer. And mind you, I love that raise in my dopamine levels, so I only took amphetamines during a few rare social occasions because I truly felt that I could become addicted to them (especially since they're so cheap). Caffeine/nicotine have always been my stimulants of choice and they've always been good enough for me, plus you're never sure of what you're getting with those chemicals and they aren't always all that reliable or safe. Amphetamines weren't all that popular among my usual friends anyway and I didn't have access to them all that often; I took small amounts maybe 10 times in total in my entire life, that was experimenting more than anything.

I also tried cocaine on a few occasions, though I barely felt any effect at times. A few of my ex-addict friends got their hands on some at times (from random/suspicious sources) and insisted that I try it with them, which I did with some reluctance. We only had about 1/2 gram to share between the both of us (sometimes less) and it was gone after 5 minutes (either snorted or smoked with tobacco); that's $50 gone in under 5 minutes which barely provided any effect, maybe stimulating like a coffee or a Red Bull at most. My friend then acknowledged that there was barely any cocaine in there, maybe a few, but nothing to really feel the effect. And I turned the situation to my advantage to remind him how shitty that drug-culture really was: "That's $50 who just disappeared man!". I'm sure a lot of younger folks who get sold coke only get a mix of amphetamines/novocain: amphetamines to simulate the stimulating effect, novocain to simulate the numbing effect, with only a minimal amount of cocaine just to feel that slight rush. You really need to have a trusted source to get quality coke, and even then it's likely to be cut substantially.

I also had a few legit cocaine trips with some of my more moderate friends (those that weren't addicted to it); one of these guys had access to quality coke, so I jumped on the opportunity to really experience its effects without setting a bad example for an ex-addict. I did a few lines with an interval of around 30 minutes. Results: exactly as I expected, way too fucking awesome and addictive for me. I absolutely loved that rush where I felt like a god, but then I also realized how so fucking addictive it really was; I really don't understand people who can only do that drug moderately/occasionally. I only did 2 legit trips like that (years apart), and that was majorly playing with fire for me. The comedown wasn't all that bad either (we smoked a bit of pot afterward), aside from the fact that was craving for more. The majority of the regular friends that I used to go out with really weren't that hyped about cocaine however, maybe only 1/5 of them took it occasionally when going out; and they knew how I felt toward it, so they rarely consumed it in front of me and it was easy for me to just ignore it.

I had various levels of success with ecstasy, though even the best experiences made me realize that it wasn't really my type of drug and it's never been very popular among my closest friends anyway. The first time I tried it I was 18 was in an average nightclub (not overly focused in EDM or dancing, it was more a bar/club type of venue with a few quieter areas). One of my friends offered some to me, and the rest of my friends (who were older than me and who already experimented with ecstasy) kinda went: "You guys are gonna do some X? Well have fun, we're just gonna have some drinks ourselves.". Then I popped a pill and my friend tried to 'sell' the effects to me: "Come on the dance floor, doesn't that feel great!? Ah man, touching my hair feels so orgasmic, you should try it yourself! Dude I like you so much, I love everyone when I'm on ecstasy!". Then I played along to fully test the effects, pretty much like a first-time pot-smoker gets overly excited and will laugh at just about anything. Part of it was fun (like any new experience), but it didn't feel all that great to me either. At some point I looked at my other friends who didn't drop ecstasy and I kinda envied them: I just wished that the effects would wear off to get back to my usual self. And I also felt a bit dumb and mildly paranoid, it wasn't the kind of scene where everybody was on ecstasy so me and my friend definitely stood out (especially since he encouraged me to exaggerate the effects so much). I also felt a few uncomfortable side-effects (feeling nauseous mostly) and I didn't feel in the best possible condition to interact with girls either. And the comedown felt awful afterward.

I tested it a few other times during the same time period (my early clubbing years), and the experience was rather similar. I kept thinking: "Yeah, that drug might be fun in a rave/afterhour environment where everybody is on the same drug, but I can't really let myself go and fully enjoy the effects in a regular nightclub.". I've never been much of a heavy partier/dancer who likes to completely exhaust himself anyway, I just like to hang out with some friends, meet a few girls, and dance sporadically just to be in a good vibe and to stimulate myself a little, so I wasn't exactly looking for some kind of 'booster' to get me through the night anyway. And I didn't really like this happy-trippy feeling where everyone/everything was so wonderful either, I like to maintain that edge in my personality where I can just tell people to piss off if need be; not that it happens all that often in nightclubs, but ecstasy always felt a bit 'depersonalizing' for me that way. I actually argued about this a few times with people: some say that ecstasy is very pure and wholesome, while a few others argue that it feels fake. It definitely feels fake for me personally, I feel my personality changing and I know that I'm behaving in a way that I normally wouldn't with some people. People who already have a happy-trippy personality might only feel like an uplifted version of themselves, but for a rather serious/cerebral guy like me it always felt rather weird/fake. I much prefer weed to get that overall feeling of 'communion' with other people and to engage in personal discussions, the effect on your neurotransmitters is a lot more indirect and it feels much more genuine to me.

I also tried it with a few girls (because they were taking ecstasy themselves and told me that the sex would be awesome), but I just couldn't get a hard-on; partly because of the physiological side-effects, but also partly because I was way too districted by the overall effects of the drug. Ecstasy actually has a reputation for making sex more sensual/affective than purely sexual. Then I had to indulge in that kind sensual/affective sex with these girls (touching/caressing each other and licking their pussies), which felt rather odd considering that I simply wanted to fuck them good and then be on my way; I didn't exactly feel like being sensual/affective with those particular girls, especially since I barely knew them. Again, those experiences felt rather fake, I knew that I normally wouldn't have been all that affectionate with those girls.

I barely touched ecstasy in the next five years, then I met my second girlfriend who had that artistic/crazy vibe and who occasionally enjoyed dropping ecstasy with some of her friends; not all that often though, maybe once every 2-3 months while dancing the night away and completely draining herself in afterhour clubs. And weed was still her regular drug of choice (like me). I thought: "Here's finally my chance to fully appreciate the effects of ecstasy.". I had never been to a proper rave/afterhour before, regular clubs close at 3am here in my city which has always been plenty enough for me to have a fun time, and my friends weren't really into that scene either. We planned our evening (we slept during most of the afternoon prior) and went to that afterhour club with her friends.

Those were the times where I enjoyed ecstasy the most: almost everybody there was on ecstasy so I could just let myself go completely and be as crazy as I wanted to, I had nothing to prove to anybody (I already was with my girlfriend), I was with someone which I already felt affectionate with (ie. my girlfriend) so those overly 'affectionate feelings' felt quite a bit more natural. The comedown was awful though, I felt drained/depressed for a whole week afterward. I really don't do well with those drugs that affect my serotonin levels I must say (the main mood neurotransmitter), my doctor even prescribed me different SSRIs through the years when I was feeling a little down and they always gave me nasty side-effects (mainly making me feel restless/nauseous). Having my serotonin levels depleted really made me feel awful, especially since I was working in rather exhausting/depressing environments and really had to be at my best to maintain a positive attitude. I stayed with that girlfriend a bit more than 2 years and I reproduced the same experience maybe 3-4 times. I didn't go out with her every time she went to those afterhours however, I just let her have fun with her girlfriends a few times; she knew I wasn't reacting all that well to ecstasy and she was perfectly tolerant of it. And as I mentioned previously, it was still something rather occasional even for her anyway. That's the thing with ecstasy I guess, as I discussed with a few other people over the years: it's not as versatile as some other drugs (ie. weed), you kinda have to plan ahead before using it. You almost need 2 free days on your calendar if you really intend to appreciate the effects fully.

I also tried ecstasy during sex with the same girlfriend a few times. It was much better than with those previous random hookups, but still not better than sober sex for me (or weed sex, which is fantastic too). It was easier for me to get a hard-on these times. Basically, we started having sex before the effects of ecstasy fully took effect and I already had a hard-on; I figured that when I already had a hard-on, it was easier to maintain it than trying to get one when I was already high. Having said that, I had a hard time cumming and lost my erection a few times; nothing too disappointing however, we just switched to something else (eg. oral sex, caressing) until I could get hard again. It was fun to indulge into that kind of sensual sex where every sensation was amplified, but I felt quite a bit at the mercy of the drug concerning hard-ons, which was rather frustrating. And fucking for so long was getting a bit pointless, I almost had to wait for the comedown to finally shoot my load.

I experimented with acid (LSD) and mushrooms a few times too; 2 times with LSD and around 3-4 times with mushrooms. As with some other drugs, that was mostly to figure out what the fuss was about. Hallucinogens aren't quite my type of drugs, though I had fun with mushrooms a few times; I once tripped with about 8 other people around a campfire, that was a fun experience. I reacted fairly well to them, though it's really not an experience that I seek or intend to reproduce over and over again. I had a friend heavily into hallucinogens who took a blotter of LSD once... and it ended up being PCP. He had a major paranoid experience and told me that he never really felt the same ever since. As with any other drug, you need to have a reliable source, otherwise you might end up swallowing something that can fuck you up big time.

Well, those are my overall experiences with drugs. I doubt that anybody will read this long post entirely, but it just feels good to let those things out all at once, haha.

It's funny that my drug experiences almost sound like a comprehensive biography. I'm not quite sure what this tells about me.

Fucking requiem for a dream over here. sheepholy

7 Apr 2015

Quote by SereneProdigy
Well, those are my overall experiences with drugs. I doubt that anybody will read this long post entirely, but it just feels good to let those things out all at once, haha.

It's funny that my drug experiences almost sound like a comprehensive biography. I'm not quite sure what this tells about me.

Is there a badge for Longest Forum Post? If so, I'd like to nominate SereneProdigy please. 588-rolleyes

To answer the thread, I've smoked my share of weed when I was younger. I don't indulge any longer. I had a horrible experience with an angel dust laced joint. I tripped for about 3 days, and promised myself I would never do it again. So, I no longer do any drugs. But I do love a good glass of red wine and an occasional shot of tequila, Ketel One, Wild Turkey, or Jack.

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